More light, less right

I listened to a great and eye opening sermon this Sunday (at home folding laundry). The basic message was that we need to remember to be a light for people – giving them inspiration and making them feel loved – instead of trying to convince them what is technically right (their doing wrong) but meanwhile hurting them. The example he gave was that age-old story of the woman being brought before Jesus to be stoned for adultery. Jesus could have just as easily let her get stoned to death and been technically right according to the old testament, but, instead, he chose grace and shined the light on her.

I know very much that I have been guilty of trying to force people into my interpretation of right – social issues, medical issues, political issues. But what I need to be doing is spreading the light of love. I have struggled so much with dealing with our current atmosphere and trying to decide when to comment on something, knowing I’m not going to change anyone’s opinion, and when to just let it go and try to be that happy person.

I have found that much of my depression and anxiety is linked to what’s going on in the world and why people are being so stubborn as well as all the negative energy and messages people are openly sharing. My friend sent me a meme that basically says that back in the day before internet and social media, we would only occasionally get hit in the face with bad news, but now that we have access to everything all the time, the amount of bad news is just overwhelming and we’re likely not made to deal with that much. I just need to let it all go. If people don’t want to listen to what the experts are saying and self medicating or denying doctor’s recommendations, then there’s no way what I say will matter. It’s like we say in the veterinary world ‘You can’t care more about your patient than they (client) do”

If people want to spew hatred toward things that are harmless but it makes them feel uncomfortable, I can’t change that. I just need to let it go. But, for sure stand up for someone if you know it’s directed to hurt that person. If I think people are sinning and going against Jesus’s teachings, I cannot change them, I cannot make them a project – that’s all for me, all selfish. But, I can show them love even through it and hope that through my love and support they will also see the light and come around to doing good.

I’m 100% guilty of posting things that are not constructive just to prove a point or make fun of someone for their science denial. But I would like to start anew and ask that you do too. Remember ALL the people who will see your message and if you can think of one person it might offend, don’t do it. Let’s also stop making fun of people for being offended and calling each other snowflakes. Literally everyone is offended by something, so making fun of others for being offended by something is only creating more hate and division in the world.

As far as being Christian goes, you may feel the need to make proclamations directly toward someone or in a general statement that individuals are “sinning”, but as Jesus said, “Let the sinless cast the first stone”. We need to show EVERYONE love (except like mass murderers of child abusers, etc) or they will see that we are Christian, only feeling the hate and rejection we are saying our God will show and that just makes them turn away from the light. You can’t save someone whom you have already rejected as wrong. We are all sinners, but God loves us all.

Sometimes I blur the line when I comment on something to give a different light or to politely correct misinformation, but it’s gotten harder and harder with people being anti-evidence based medicine. I try sometimes to stop the anger and fear before it gets out of hand. I really wish people would exercise their brakes more than their gas pedal. In other words, if you see something that seems offensive, makes you angry, get riled up, etc, STOP. Question the information, do a quick internet search for unbiased information (though I understand that is really hard), think about what is being claimed. Does that make sense? Is there an important part of the story that’s being omitted? Don’t just take the information from a meme and run with it, causing inflammatory reactions and a domino effect of false information. False information can be like juicy gossip that is fun to share and get others riled up like you, but it’s not the Christian thing to do.

One example of this out of control freaking out: My friend is running for school board and when she went out to talk to people about what they want to see, she met one person who said she heard the schools were going to be replacing Math with critical race theory. My first reaction was to laugh super hard. This information makes no sense, is completely preposterous, and perpetuates the fear and hatred that people suck up like a dry sponge. Just stop, think, criticize, ask God, then move on. If you don’t 100% know it’s true, don’t spread it. Be the light. Lead others out of the dark areas of their brain to analyze and be with God and His light.

There’s plenty of toxicity in the world without spreading lies and hurtful things that will just cause more fear and hatred. Let’s be better, let’s be the light. What ever religion or nonreligion you are, this can be achieved just by being a good and thoughtful person. Love others and forgive others like you would yourself. Give them the benefit of the doubt and if they’re no hurting anyone, let it go. Don’t be a bully. BE. THE. LIGHT.

Love you all, sorry for the rambling post. I’m just 24 hours out of anesthesia and a tad loopy. (had laparoscopic diagnostics done looking for endometriosis and all they found was endosalpingiosis – no clue what that means, but it’s nice to not be in constant pain as long as my post surgery drugs last)

65 Replies to “More light, less right”

  1. Thank you for an informative post…and don’t be so hard on yourself! Endosalpingiosis is VERY painful, and kind of rare.

  2. Hope you are feeling better soon. You have a wonderful piece of property and house. Nice place for your children, I am sure. Front Royal is a nice area.

  3. Always appreciate your openness and honesty, Dr. Emily. Praying for your comfort after the drugs wear off …. and a satisfying answer to your condition! Be well.

  4. Wonderful post as always, Dr. Emily. Love your photographs. To you and your family, be well.

  5. I find myself just scrolling a lot on social media and, when someone just won’t let up on things that upset me, I snooze them so they don’t show up (sometimes, I’ll unfriend them, but if it’s family, I just snooze them until they cool off). I try to send light and love out to everyone.

  6. Te pasaste Emily. Tu casa es muy linda. Tu también eres linda persona. Arriba el animo! y cuídate. Vive esta vida a full y disfruta a tus seres queridos. De eso se trata todo.

  7. I looked endosalpingiosis up. You have my sympathy and prayers for a favorable solution.
    Love your property, and your “sermon”.

  8. Sure do miss you on the Dr. Pol show. I know it was too much for you with the kids and a heavy workload. Nevertheless, your presence made a difference at least for me. I agree with your thoughts about being the Light to others. Many of us would rather be right than Light! We can and must do better.

  9. Dr Emily I have suffered depression too and one way I have been able to rise above all the vitriol and lies floating around is to ask myself how it will affect me directly. If it won’t I pass it on by. I also skip mean responses to my posts.

    I’ve been mostly isolated for 18 months and miss my kids and grands so much. We scheduled face-time with the little ones and they always have something new to show me.

    I am thankful that only two of my family caught Covid and they both survived with no after effects. They both are in the medical field.

    When things start to get me down I go outside and listen to the birds singing Gods praises.

    I miss you here in Michigan.

  10. Unfortunately, your post is too long for a tattoo, but definitely worthy of it! Thanks for the thoughts (and the photos). Love to you and yours.

  11. Beautifully said Emily. This is one I will keep for quite a while and read when frustrated, hurt or bewildered by the world and it’s people. Thanks ❤️❤️

  12. Great post Emily. I get mad at the uneducated in science too.
    BTW, I’ve been retired a while but I think endosalpingiosis is similar to endometriosis but in the Fallopian tubes. Be sure it is read out by a path.

  13. Dear Dr Emily, Such insightful, inspirational and true words very well put. You are a blessing and we love you. Please keep writing and shining your light and remember you are precious in God’s sight. We love you and your family. Beautiful pictures, too!

  14. Everything you said is spot-on! In John chapter 15 verse 12, Jesus said: This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. This was not just a suggestion, it was a commandment! He didn’t give us the option of only loving certain people at certain times and under certain circumstances! He was including everyone! I discovered one thing about love. If you show love for others, it will return to you!
    And the returning of that love is the best feeling anyone can ever have! One other thing I’ve discovered about love is that you can never run out of it! The more love you share with others, the more you have to share! The older I get, the more I try to share love with others. I used to be afraid of saying those simple three words, I love you, but not anymore. I have found that love is not just a huge thing, it’s everything! Keep sharing the love that you have so abundantly in your heart, Emily! I admire you! Thank you for everything you do!
    Your friend, Blake

  15. Thank you for your thoughtful words and your timing, or maybe it’s my timing. I always find your blog post when I’m struggling and you seem to have the perfect words to help calm the chaos in my mind and body. Everything you said is right on and I just need to make peace with what can’t be changed and put it in God’s hands.
    I’m sorry you’re having pain and unknown health issues. I hope some answers with your procedure lead you to a pain free life.
    Love you too. I’ll say a prayer for you.

  16. Such wisdom, beautifully expressed. I am on the receiving end of the intolerant. Many cannot be vaccinated for medical reasons, not because of being anti-vaccine, but that does not seem to be taken into account. Because of my many life threatening allergies my physician has told me I have a better chance of dying from one of the vaccines than isolating myself from the public. I have solved part of my problem by only watching a few minutes of local news and then going to any program that is non news.

    I understand the debilitating pain you have been enduring. I suffered for many years from adinomyosis (sp) I pray they have cured the cause. Hang in there, you’ve got it right.

  17. Amen!
    Endosalpingiosis is a condition where tissue from Fallopian tubes are found outside the tubes and elsewhere in the pelvic cavity, causing pain and infertility. Common symptoms include pain, pain between periods, back pain, mood swings, and problems sleeping.

  18. I don’t normally comment, but this blog struck a chord. If we all could show grace, what a better world this would be. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It’s comforting to know there are people that will always try to help shine the light. We may be not as vocal as others, but we are here!
    I hope you have a quick recovery from your surgery!

  19. Totally agree with your post Emily and sorry to hear about the health issues.. I expect now you’ll be doing some research on what the drs. found so you’re prepared for follow up with your own dr.

    Chin up, carry on and feel better soon

  20. I see myself doing exactly what you talked about. Thank you for pointing it out and reminding me that there is a better way. I’ll try.

  21. Well said and I agree. I have to disconnect my self sometimes.
    Life goes on even if I don’t know everything.

  22. Thank you! I am going to be doing my best to shine a light and be a more ready source of comfort and compassion. I just hope I know the right words to say when science is denigrated.

  23. So very often you say exactly what I’m thinking. I think one of the things you referred to was the willful ignorance of people who will have themselves injected with ivermectin untested instead of a tested vaccine that works. I don’t comprehend how people get to that mode of thinking. They will believe something they read on that bastion of fact Facebook vs. what the CDC is saying. What is there to be said ? It never works to argue. They got to where they are on a path we can’t see, and its really hard to walk in their shoes.

  24. Emily, your “ramblings” as you call them are always so healing. You are a wise and
    Kind person. You are following the “Don’t hide your light under a basket”. Continue to hold it up high, we desperately need the visible presence of people like you.
    I hope you can find away to free yourself from the pain. I had a cow fall on me at 21
    And pain has been my closest companion since then. At 70 I still think life is such an amazing gift.

  25. Heal swiftly Dr Emily! Good luck with your diagnosis, hope you get to the bottom of it.

  26. I don’t watch any news anymore and have unsubscribed from any newsfeeds on Facebook. I’m much happier.

  27. Sorry to here about your health issues, & get better pain is not fun.You need to stop watching the news so much. I have depression and anxiety w/suicidal thoughts,also I’m an anthiest. I have Fibromyalgia,Parkinsons,lupusMS,Migrains, I’m only 47- I think you should continue doing your painting and drawing. That might help you alot.

  28. I’m with you girl. What gets me through all this is: John 16:33 These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation; but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world. KJV

  29. You give light to many pet owners. That is very important. You are important! I appreciate you being open about your life. God gave you a talent and a wonderful family. As the song goes… “You can’t be a beacon if your light don’t shine.”. Continue being that beacon for others.

  30. Truth!! I gave been getting so stressed about all the anti science postings. As a critical care RN I could just scream if another person says there is a chip in the COVID shot😳. We miss you up here and you are our favorite dr on the show!!! Love from rosebush MI!!!

  31. I try to be the candle and not the spotlight. If I believe I am right and true, I live that life and let people see me doing that, let the candle draw them in. I try not to be the spotlight shining into their eyes, making them out their hands up and turn away.

  32. Very well said Emily. We all should remember Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. 🙂❤

  33. smiling as I start my day!!! I wish everyone would slow down and think about their every word before it comes out.. The world would be a better place!!

  34. Yes ma’am! I too am tired of the misinformation, negativity, and division in our society. I TRY to be a light for people, but yes it is hard. I am a healthcare worker and I would like to shout at the world my opinion, but I won’t. I don’t want to create any more division. I have friends and family that feel differently than I do. Just got to show love and support.
    I hope you get better soon!

  35. “Back in the day” the difference was that we all had respect for each other as individuals, a right to hold our own opinion, and listen to another. We “listened” to each other, and made efforts to understand, and respect how the other person felt. But now, there is no listening, no effort made to understand. I do understand your point about evidence, but one has to also acknowledge that some science is manipulated for a specific outcome. I know because of a study I conducted and was able to manipulate it to a certain outcome. But, I do respect your stance on this, and I do understand why you think that way, and that is ok. Let go of your worries, we all have to face our own creator in the end, individually, just as we have to reach decisions about our own lives, individually.

  36. On Life:

    I picture it as there are two oceans: one full of caring, making the world better by contributing (big or small things); one full of negatives that make the world worse. Every day we pick which one we will add drops to. This is the legacy we leave when we go, for better or worse.

    I try to add drops to the good one whenever I can, but I’m also human and sometimes throw some into the other; when I do that I try to own it, try to help heal any harm, and not do it again/start afresh.

    The hardest thing for me is when someone is causing harm, especially when they’re smug about it: I want to defend the harmed, and I get angry both at the harm and at the person’s enjoyment of causing that harm. Also, it’s hard accepting that some people will not change this kind of behavior no matter what you do or say; some will, but some won’t. Healers get angry over deliberate harm, repeated harm.

    Part of what I do is try to focus more energy on helping the harmed, because that is productive and it’s needed; if I let hateful people eat up too much of my energy, I have less to give to the harmed. And I work to fight ignorance: educate people, share things I’ve learned, learn new things myself and embrace correction when I have something wrong.

    I remember in “Black Beauty” John Manly talking about ignorance causing as much harm as deliberate cruelty, so I work to heal ignorance too, whenever I can, by calling out the harm ignorance causes, and offering info that can change it for the better.

  37. Thank you Emily for your rambling post. I think you were preaching to me. Glad you feel better. Love you all too

  38. I thoroughly enjoyed your post, Emily, and I agree with you 100%. I always just try to live by the Golden Rule. This world would be a better place, I think, if we all did.

  39. Nicely written, thank you for giving me pause to not hit the ‘Send’ button so quickly. I find myself consciously stepping back in terms of replying or engaging someone that I disagree with, as you said, nothing I say is going to change someone’s opinion.
    I want to say I like your pictures as well. Beautiful country you live in.
    All the best to you and family.

  40. Emily stop watching cable news on Fox and CNN or MSNBC. That will clear up your mind on the hostility or the divisions in our country. Putin was attempting to cause dissension in our country and I’m sure China is doing the same. So the solution is not to watch the BS. Keep your eye on the ball (your family), because they need you. You are the rock in your family. Jesus said to Peter “you are the rock”, so listen what Jesus said.

  41. I feel like your heart is in the right place, however you need to find a church that teaches the whole gospel, which includes acknowledging sin for what it is. Romans 1 is a good chapter to study on what the word of God has to say. We can love and be kind without accepting sin as “ok”, condoning it, or worse, celebrating it. I say this in love.

  42. I love your photos and your words. Thank you for posting. I hope you’re enjoying your life more now that you have time for family and nature… We see you occasionally on old Pol episodes and miss you…

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