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Riddle me this: COVID conspiracy!

Personal statement:

  1. I am a scientist, a doctor, a believer in the centuries of scientific methods and reasoning that have gone back and forth to come to our, though still learning, very sophisticated and successful medical advancements. I am also a believer in God. Go figure.
  2. I do NOT, at all, like politicians or care what they have to say about science, as they know little to none of what experts have spent their lives studying and perfecting.
  3. Scientists and researchers are not rich people and do not benefit much at all compared to their toils for the great things they do and come up with.
  4. There will be individuals in every profession who think radically and do not go with the vast majority of evidence or research findings – this cannot be helped, but the one outlier is MUCH less likely to have the right answer than the 99% of the others. That’s just statistics.
  5. Politics should NEVER have an influence on science and how the people are presented with facts – this is dangerous and irresponsible. (Besides, political parties are like football teams and the voters can be like the fanatical fanbase. Tom Brady is, like, the best quarterback, but people hated him because he played for the Patriots. He can play for your least favorite team, but this does not retract from the fact that he is, currently, the best. The same idea extends to a fantastic vaccine coming out and because your political base says it’s bad when the science says it’s not, is just down right irresponsible, and even murderous.)
Political party hatred.

So, that being out of the way, lets talk conspiracies (I’ve actually heard – like, for reals) surrounding the science.

First conspiracy: “The Government wants you to get vaccinated because they make money off your getting the vaccine.” Okay, this doesn’t make sense at all. The vaccine is currently free. The government is paying for the vaccine for everyone. I’m sure this will have an expiration date, however, and once they feel everyone has had a reasonable window to get vaccinated, they will stop paying for it and the pharmaceutical companies will charge whatever they want.

All family members over 5: Vaccinated – for free!

Second: “The hospitals are making up COVID death diagnosis to get more money from the government.” The government IS subsidizing hospitals for COVID cases whether they die or not because the cost to treat COVID is ridiculously expensive with the intensive care patients require: the isolation protocol and days to weeks of oxygen which can be charged by the hour. Many people don’t have insurance or insurance isn’t covering all of it, so costs go to tax payers – which seems to be another good reason to get that free vaccine. The hospitals are NOT making up COVID diagnosis to get the subsidies, however, that is fraud and a serious violation that could lead to license loss and/or litigation that no one wants to deal with. It is true that some people have other disease processes and then contract COVID which brings them over the edge. Some may argue that COVID didn’t kill these people, that they were sick with other things already, but their other disease processes were controlled, being maintained carefully through medications, diet, therapy, etc, then they got COVID, and their body couldn’t take it anymore. So, without COVID, these people could have lived another several years to decades.

Facts all jumbled get hard to decipher

Third: “The government is pushing the vaccine because there’s a microchip in it and they can, then track your every movement.” Do you have a phone? They don’t need a microchip in your body because you willingly carry one in your pocket at all times. Also microchips are huge – like the size of a rice grain and you would need a MUCH larger needle. Also, how would they differentiate which vaccines had the chip in them? The first vaccine? The booster?

Removed arm to remove microchip – JK

Fourth: “The government invented this virus to kill the population.” OR “The government is pushing the vaccine because they know it will kill us”…. *crickets* Does this make sense to anyone? If everyone dies, who will pay their taxes? How does having less people benefit the government? We DO know the government is also made up of people – people who are also susceptible to the virus, right?

Wolf in Grandma’s clothing

Fifth: Not so much of a conspiracy as just very bad information being propagated: “The vaccine is experimental and developed too fast” The vaccine for viruses like COVID has been in development for many years – now that there is a need for them, they already had all the parts, they just needed to assemble. The trials vaccines are required to go through were also all completed. The vaccine is safe. Like 1000x safer than the disease. Everyone talks about how harmless the virus is “it’s just the flu” even though almost 800,000 people have died in the US, but even with the only 1.6% death rateT, the vaccine is 1000x safer, with a death rate of 0.0022%. So, if you love your neighbor, get vaccinated.

T: Current COVID deaths in the US is 793,958 with 48,643,963 cases. Therefore, death rate is deaths/cases= 0.016 x 100 = 1.6% deaths. For fun, I looked up some PAST flu data since people are claiming Flu doesn’t seem as bad because everyone is reporting COVID now. In 2017-2018 Flu cases was 41,000,000, flu deaths were 52,000. Deaths/cases= 0.0013×100 = 0.13% deaths. In other words, no, COVID is not just like the flu, you are 10X more likely to die from COVID.

My brother preparing to paint my basement ceiling – not appropriate fit for dealing with COVID patients

In conclusion, this virus is costing the government a LOT of money – between subsidizing hospitals for the increased costs, paying for vaccine development from multiple companies and continued vaccination of the public, not to mention the cut to the economy with 700,000 less available workers and trying to keep the remaining people safe with closures. None of this would benefit the government in any way. It just doesn’t make sense to think of the virus or the vaccine as a conspiracy.

Nuff said

To end this segment, I’m going to steal a story my dad told me recently. He has retired from working 31 years at Warner Robins Air Force base (civilian) and has since been picked up by a large Department of Defense contractor to keep up his good work (whatever that is, we don’t talk about it – which works out because I don’t tell him what I do either…. because he’d vomit). Any who, he was talking to a guy at one of the facilities and they were just talking the typical weather, football, small talk, then my dad went to walk away when the guy said “Hey, what do you think this whole COVID vaccine? Kinda crazy isn’t it?” My dad said, “Listen, I’m vaccinated and here’s why; my momma is 91 years old and I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I thought even for a moment that I got her sick and caused her to die. Let me tell you another thing, I’ve been on a military base for 31 years before I started here, and working around all of those soldiers who spent time overseas getting shot at, giving up large chunks of their lives with loved ones, risking their lives every single day, sometimes living in hot, miserable conditions for months to years for people they don’t even know, just to keep them safe. I thought, a vaccine was a pretty small sacrifice I could make for my fellow American.”

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Vet Medicine: the greatest career on Earth

So, you read about all my whining and complaining in the last blog. Being a vet is TOUGH. Understanding that you can treat an animal without having the exact diagnosis and without choosing the same treatment as any other vet (there will never be full consensus on treatments for any disease, ever) takes a long time of feeling like a failure, staying up nights worrying that you didn’t treat something right, wondering if you should have gone with the high dose, short therapy or the lower dose long therapy. Are you causing antibiotic resistance? If you don’t send an antibiotic home, will the owners hate you? Will you get a bad review because, even though you spent hours researching and worrying, the animal didn’t get better, or another vet threw you under the bus? So, why even try? Why enter this field?

Because it’s FREAKING AMAZING!! That’s why!

Reasons it’s FA (freaking amazing): The animals, obviously. Granted, you LOVE animals, but must accept that they hate you. You must just understand that you’re doing it for your love for them, and not to win their love (though I handily try with multiple treats and a slow approach). It’s much like being a mom or a religious leader. You care for and are responsible for others, but they might not like what you have to say or do. Occasionally you get the adorable puppy/kitten, but sometimes you have to deal with the jack-wad pet. If you are companion animal, most of your patients will be middle to older aged animals with skin, ear, endocrine issues. If you are large animal, most will be reproductive, preventative health, and emergency. Most of the animals are happy with you anyway, especially if you keep pushing the treats.

The SCIENCE – if you love science and seeing things work like you read about, you will love vet med. It doesn’t always work out, but when it does, it feels MAGICAL – and it works out most of the time. You get a rush of dopamine (this is not proven, just theorized) when you hear back from a patient you’d been working on and hear that they’re SO much better! Even when it’s just an older dog with probable arthritis and the owner didn’t think it was pain but was willing to do a trial of pain meds. They call back and go on and on about how much like a puppy their old Bella has become. It makes my insides smile.

Not arthritis

You can FIX things! Sometimes this feeling is amazing! Female intact dog walks in, sick as, well, a dog, you find it’s a pyometra (uterus is huge and full of pus). The dog looks like death, but with a 30 minute surgery (spay), the dog is back to almost 100% overnight! Laceration repair can be tedious, but is like creating a work of art. Indoor/outdoor cat comes in with a swelling and a fever – cat bite abscess – super rewarding to drain the abscess and the cat is back to normal by the next day. There’s nothing like the feeling “hey, your animal has this problem, but don’t worry, I’ll fix it!” The feeling only gets super frustrating when the owner chooses not to treat for one reason or another (finances, chronic issues that require multiple rechecks, long-term medication). Then, this leaves you totally frustrated – “but I can fix it…”

Learning all the time. You may think this sounds tedious and awful, but it’s not. Again, learning something new that you can immediately apply to a case, whether it’s researching for a current case and finding an actual answer or going to continuing education conferences and learning a new fabulous (and low cost) new treatment regimen, actually gives you a rush. As a vet you are (or should be) CONSTANTLY learning, researching, RE-learning and it’s actually fun. There are always new things to learn and ways to check your pride and try a different methods and while you’ll find yourself frustrated in the moment, and may take awhile to institute the change, you’ll be elated when it all falls into place. Because – science.

The clients! (okay, there are some sour lemons, but with the current demand for vets and long waiting list to get an appointment, we have the luxury to “rehome” clients who are naughty) Are you a people pleaser? Do you get a physical giddy sensation when you make someone happy? Vet med *can be* for YOU! For the most part, clients are extremely polite, understanding, and grateful for what you do. I think it helped my client communication skills to be a large animal vet for awhile. When you’re stuck standing over a newly gelded colt, waiting for him to get up, you learn how to chat with people and not feel awkward. Depending on the client’s attitude toward me (the more positive, they more they get), I will go to all sorts of lengths to make sure they and their animal are getting free samples, internet sources, brochures, under the table treatments (slip in a free nail trim), etc. If a client is cold and dismissive, they will get what they ask for and that is it.

Then there’s the not so obvious perks to being a vet; Comradery – Everyone in the vet world is stressed and many take it out with a twisted sense of humor. When you find the right clinic, it’s like getting together with your friends every day – joking, griping together, getting excited over gross things, inappropriate humor. Everyone working in your field (or at least the vast majority) love animals and share the common goal to help people and their animals. I’m sure there are others, but how many other work places do you have where everyone in the company has the same interest? Want to talk about your cat’s cute way she chirps to you? So does your co-worker!

Rescues will be a commonality in your field. This pup was born with no bones in her forelegs and now belongs to a co-worker

Something for everyone. You like working with your hands? Large animal is perfect for you, prefer indoors with more meticulous skill? Surgery is for you! Like both? Do both!! Don’t like working with your hands? Medicine. Pathology. Teaching. Like people? General or referral practice. Don’t like people? Pathology, lab animal medicine. Want to practice medicine everyday, great! Don’t? Government work! Like people, but only your kind, and not general public? Become a drug representative, traveling to clinics telling them about all the new products coming out! Want to work all day everyday, and be on call – don’t worry, there’s plenty for you! Only want to work 3 days a week? Pick up relief shifts! Night owl? Work emergency overnight shifts. ***These examples are all highly generalized, and I’m 100% sure vets working in all of these fields will have something to say, but my point is there’s a job out there for anyone with a Veterinary degree, don’t just envision working at a clinic***

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So, you want to be a vet?

I was driving to work yesterday morning, feeling COMPLETELY miserable. Flu-like symptoms, my body ached like it had been beaten and rolled down a hill. I was freezing, then two seconds later, sweating. My head was pounding and I had a very painful baseball sized lymph node under my right armpit. Don’t worry, though, I wasn’t going to spread a horrible sickness among co-workers (this time), but instead, I had gotten vaccinated two days prior – my third COVID-19 vaccine (a booster) and it hit me like a truck. I kept thinking to myself “Ugh! I just want to go home. This is going to be a long day. I can’t call in sick though because I already have a completely full schedule and can’t just leave my co-workers to take all of my cases.” Such is the life of a vet. Don’t worry, there’s awesome parts too (just not in this blog).

The rare sweet puppy cuddle

Training to be a vet is sort of like boot camp for a marine (but not at all the same). Once you enter vet school, they start the mental and physical conditioning. Not only is there no rest for the weary, but if you’re weary, there’s extra work. They start with a grueling schedule of 8 hours of advanced science/medicine classes per day – 8am-5pm, then expect you to go home and review the material (they approximate an hour per hour of class). Then, the testing starts. This means studying night after late night into the early morning, internally debating whether more review or sleep will be better for you (psst! Get the sleep). One professor described the onslaught of information vs retention as throwing a giant pile of horse crap at a wall and hoping some of it sticks.

No time? Drink! My 27th birthday party – technically, I was an intern.
Driven to madness, Emily is seen here sipping Guinness from a straw

After three and a half years of dragging your brain across a cactus field, the clinical rotations start. Vet school clinicians (drill sergeants) are notoriously miserable themselves, and therefore, feel the need to make sure everyone else is also miserable. I can’t blame them, necessarily, they are dealing with the hardest cases (most animals don’t come to the vet school unless there’s a super complicated issue that a general practitioner can’t deal with), they are doing it on very little income, and they are having to “babysit” over eager students who, despite having studied for 3.5 years, don’t know squat. **side note: some of the senior clinician are absolute SAINTS – made to teach AND a master of their field. And some are literally trying to drag you down to hell with their miserable selves – none shall be pictured.**

Definitely one of the saintly clinicians – seen here with my horse, Orion – a stone stuck in Orion’s urethra, and more in the bladder.
Stone cut out of Orion’s urethra about 4 inches below his anus (making him pee like a mare)
The stone in the bladder, seen here being lasered to break it up for easier extraction

While a student, you are expected not to complain about not sleeping because someone always has to comment how they’ve been up for 32 hours straight (to which I guess you are supposed to bow down to that person?). You are expected not to complain about being hungry – you may, I don’t know, end up eating some horse or dog food because you are so hungry and it doesn’t look too bad when you’re holding a horse for the 90th hour and haven’t been allowed to move. You are not to use the bathroom while people are around – thou shalt not flaunt your excessive time allotment by urinating when others cannot.

Another saintly clinician, in the middle, Dr. Hollett, who has now, sadly, passed away. Also pictured, my intern-mate.

You are expected to show up NO MATTER WHAT is going on. Snow storm? In Georgia, where snow plows are a thing of fairy tales? Better start hiking or you won’t hear the end of it when you finally manage to drag yourself (and wreckage of a car) into the hospital. Have the flu? Might as well resign vet school before calling in. I mean, technically, they’ll have to allow you to stay home, but you may be excommunicated for showing an ounce of self care. Also, you’d be so much cooler if you just took some ibuprofen and pushed on. Vomiting? Just bring a bucket and you can empty it during your bathroom breaks which don’t exist. Pregnant? Just get out. (There were actually a few classmates who were brave enough to have kids during vet school and they are all amazing women and vets to this day).

Me, pregnant with India, but not until after I got my first job.

You made it to graduation, yay!! You somehow also survived the SIX HOUR test you have to take to apply for a license. Some will go on to start their career, while some will choose to get internships with the idea that this will ease them better into the work field (because when you graduate, despite the physical and mental torture and water boarding of information, you still know nothing, but are happy to be alive). Some internships are AMAZING (I’ve been told), but some are just a way to get you to do the crap work, while getting crapped on (pun intended), further breaking you down (because now it’s about breaking your soul) all with the exciting wage of $25,000/year – with the ($100K+ with 6-12% interest) student loans lapping at your heels.

Me and my students, “horsing around” on the breeding dummy. We were responsible for making this area look “presentable” for the stallions – rake the dirt, water the grass, make sure the wool fleece was warm and soft.

You can then, enter a residency if you choose to be specialized in a certain discipline (surgery, medicine, oncology, ophthalmology, etc) – typically you will need to be at the top of your class (I was NOT) and even more into self torture than most. This option is three years of more intensity than anything previously experienced, with, again, little pay – but from what I’ve heard, you won’t need the money anyway – sleep at the hospital, never eat, etc.

The wild hog, named Ferdinand after he took up residence with an anesthesia tech’s horses. We came to castrate him – it took a LOT of ketamine. He was later “let go” for attacking and mauling her dogs.

Finally, it’s time to start your career. Due to the mental, physical, and spiritual beating you have endured, you’re perfectly happy and, in fact, eternally grateful for your first job offer. $42,000/yr? YES!! That’s almost twice as much as you were making as an intern, living on literal beans and rice!! You’re going to be rich!! (you might even be able to add some CHEESE to your beans and rice). From here, it may be a good 2-3 years before you don’t think you’ve made a huge mistake and that you’re a failure and imposter, and then 7-10 years before you realize your worth – as a vet, but mostly as a person.

My job as holder of the blood donor goat.

So, now, you’re finally comfortable in your own skin, you work hard, contribute your all, but also expect respect from your boss, co-workers, and, especially, clients. Finally, it’s time to start realizing what there is to love about veterinary medicine. *See next blog*

Another amazing clinician on the right.