Hello, and thank you for coming to read my random thoughts! I have decided to start a blog page about myself, my life, and random observations about the world in an attempt to give hope, inspire, but mostly make you laugh. I enjoy making people laugh, some for attention (otherwise why would I have the nerve to start a blog), but mostly to bring some positive light to the world when all chaos seems to be going on in our everyday lives. I plan to bring some lighthearted humor to everyday annoying situations so that you, too, can laugh at my downfalls and tribulations.
For my first Blog, I think I want to tell you about my brown stethoscope.
When I was in vet school, I got a purple stethoscope – my favorite color! Unfortunately, my dog ate it. So, then, when it was time to buy a new one, I had reached the point in my schooling where my soul and will to live had been adequately crushed (also known as clinical rotations) to allow for “remolding” – or, eventually, being happy with minimal pay for hard, stressful, skilled labor. At that point in my career, I did not exist as an individual and only was out to please my mentors and clients. Knowing that I would be going into large animal medicine, and therefore, be around barns, farmyards, horses, cows, pigs, etc, I wanted to have the best chance I could to be respected. I was convinced, as a girl, I wouldn’t be respected on the farm with “good ole boys” if I had a purple or pink stethoscope, so I purchased a brown one with copper finish. It looked very professional to me, like an elite equine practitioner and I was ready to go out and try my best to fit in with my clients and make them happy and would never allow them to think that my being a girl was a weakness.
My first real job (after a joke of an internship) was with a boss that was one of those good ole boys on the farm and despite his large stature and thick barrier of testosterone he carried around with him at all times, he employed only small women in his clinic – perhaps it was the need to feel in control, but perhaps it was just that in the veterinary world, women were becoming the majority for options. While working there, and only 3 months into my employment at my first job – granted I was already 28 – I became pregnant with my first child. I was absolutely terrified. I just knew that I was going to get fired for this and even contacted my uncle who is a lawyer to ask his opinion on my chances of getting fired. He told me that, unfortunately, because the business was such a small practice, I could, in fact, be fired legally.
I finally got up the courage to tell him and he was visibly disturbed, but, to my astonishment, did not fire me on the spot or make life harder for me to get me to quit. He did, however, warn me that the farmers around there (rural South Carolina) would not like a pregnant lady working on their cattle – that I’d make them uncomfortable and not to be discouraged if I was asked not to come back. I just knew that this would be the end of my large animal career. I worked very hard in the coming months to hide my belly with large clothes and coveralls, but at some point, you just get to the point where you can’t hide that belly anymore. The farmers did notice. They were shocked, surprised, but not one of them told me not to come back or act like they were unwilling to allow me to work on their animals. They were, maybe, a little more careful with restraining their large animals (but, really, shouldn’t they, anyway).
I went on to have the baby, remain on call, while breastfeeding and have to cart my infant along with me on some farm calls. I would park with the truck running and go pull a calf while my baby screamed in the truck the entire time. I did the same when I went out and castrated some horses, with the baby sleeping in the vehicle. Not one farmer said one thing to me – except I would get the occasional comment on how impressed they were that “a little girl like you can do what you do”.
I eventually established myself as a strong person, and no longer had to hide that I was a woman, that I was a pregnant woman, a nursing woman, a mothering woman, or a womanly woman. I eventually got to the point where I would wear earrings or *gasp* make-up or a sparkly headband that was my daughter’s out to the farms and never got a lick of push back. I still have the brown stethoscope because, well, they’re expensive and this one has not disintegrated yet, and once I cleaned all the cow manure out of the ear pieces, my ears don’t itch so much anymore. But I really love when people ask me about why I have an ugly, brown stethoscope because I get to tell them about how I used to be scared to be me, but once I was me and figured out people were okay with that, I get to be me and love it!