Do you ever wonder “What’s the point?” “Why do I even try?” or think “No good deed goes unpunished”. Well, a big FAT “Ditto!” from me. I appreciate everyone’s patience through my journey and struggle with faith and seeking meaning and understanding. I know everyone seeks a meaning to life, but I, like, NEED it to all make sense. Like a well rounded novel. All the pieces need to fit together perfectly and then there will be an Ah HA! moment. This has not happened yet for me, but I’m slowly combing through theories and ideas to make my little simple brain happy and content (with a warm fuzzy blanket and mug of something warm… and maybe even a kitten).
Well, my latest struggle has been the crushingly daunting task of trying to make the world better. I’m just one person on a planet of 7.753 billion people stretched farther than I’ve ever travelled or even imagined. How am I supposed to convince the world that love and peace is the best option (and, if you’re a Christian, the way Jesus taught) when so many are angry, vengeful, just a hair’s trigger from mentally crushing someone, physically hurting them, or even killing them because you felt a hint of fear from their difference?
Through this thought process, long hours of running, hiking, thinking, I think I’ve convinced myself of this: I may not convince anyone…. that I know of. If I say “I don’t believe in guns” because I’m a pacifist and follower of Jesus and cannot imagine EVER killing someone, I’m gonna piss a LOT of people off. So many THINK they would be fine with killing a person just because they trespassed or even broke into their home, but I don’t think so. I think they would live with the debilitating guilt of judging that person and taking that life without a really good reason. (Break into my house to steal stuff? I will help you pack your car up before I would ever consider harming you – I mean, a call to the police and insurance will be my next step, but not challenging you). So, now I’ve really pissed some of you off. That’s fine. You will load up the comment section about how stupid and naïve I am and how frivolous I am with my kids’ lives. But SOME one, even if they spew hatred toward me for this opinion, just might have a seed planted in their brain and years down the road, may start to edge toward a more peaceful path. Maybe they’ll just shoot the drunk that accidentally wandered into their house in the foot, instead of taking his life (or the drunk son that didn’t announce he was coming home in the middle of he night as happened to my uncle).
So, how do you convince yourself to keep trying? Let’s say you are just doing your best to be patient and show grace to the people who annoy you the most. Whether it’s the people who annoy you or someone bearing witness do your actions, you may just be tapping the first domino that starts a new way of life for that person. Now, you may never see those changes. You may even consider that encounter a failure because nothing ever changed in front of you, but you may never know what affect you had on that person or the people in their lives.
I just have to keep trying and continue to hope beyond hope that if I treat people the way I want to be treated and demonstrate grace, forgiveness, gentle corrections, but also admit to my own weaknesses and relate to people, always being as open as possible, others will take note and try to also be the best they can be, while acknowledging and accepting their own faults. (I think it’s very important to share personal difficulties and weaknesses – it’s super healthy for personal and community mental health).
Now the other side of the coin that I struggle with on this subject is WHY are there people out there who are opposite of me? Why are there people who’s first reaction is to be mad or angry or want to incite revenge? I’ve mentioned the Monet painting in a previous post (we’re all dots of color in the world/universe and some are bright yellow, while others are muddy dark green – but we all work together to make a beautiful picture). I have since come up with another analogy. Some of us are extensor muscles while others are flexors. The joint won’t work if we are all extensors. To balance the world, we need both. But, see, this is when I go back to “why even try?”. And I spiral.
I dunno. Be the best you can be in hopes that your color will leach onto others, even if you never see it. You never know how they will treat a stranger down the road because they knew you and reconsidered a way of thinking, even if miniscule. Remember that “Hurt people hurt people”. So, the next time you wonder why someone is so cruel, try to imagine they were scarred sometime in the past and give them some grace. Also remember that misery loves company and try try try not to get sucked down the spiral that is their misery.
Your finest post yet. Life is living the tension(s). The absence of tension is death. You and your family remotely bring me joy.
Could’ve said it better . Someday it will all make sense ! Blind Faith !
Yes! Someday it will be clear – hopefully sooner rather than later!
Liked that one a lot. Sometimes I think you and I are the same mind in different bodies. Keep
Trying! So will I.
We continually told our children that people like nice people and that if you can’t say something nice about someone then don’t say anything at all. We are now saying it to our grandchildren. Hopefully it will snowball.
Dear Dr Emily Thomas,
This is one of the best posts you have made so far in my opinion.
One thing I have learned through a long life is, that people ALWAYS do what is best for them. This does not necessarily mean that it is a good choice – but it is still the BEST choice possible for them.
I am a Dane, and we have a Danish proverb saying “It is a choice between the plague and cholera” – a.k.a. no matter what you choose it will still be a bad choice. But yet it is a tiny bit better than the opposite choice.
Most people I have ever known are generally kind and most of them want to do their best. But fear car challenge anyone who get out of their comfort zone. And one more thing I have learned through the years is that scared people are dangerous people.
Summary: don’t EVER frighten people – not even if you are svared yourself. On the contrary – do any- and everything you can to help people NOT being afraid.
You may not change the world – but you may change the world for just one person, animal or community. And maybe that is enough?
We continually told our children that people like nice people and that if you can’t say something nice about someone then don’t say anything at all. We are now saying it to our grandchildren. Hopefully it will snowball.
I love reading your news letters, even if I don’t always agree with you. You always bring up good points and make me think. Please keep sending them, and miss you on Dr Pol. Been watching a lot of reruns with you on there.
My daddy and his brother were raised in a Christian orphanage. My daddy was kind, tender hearted, saw the good in people. My uncle died in prison for killing a man. It is personal choice what we do. Not all hurt people hurt people and not all people raised to be kind are kind. We choose. I choose to be kind.
Some observations. Change within is generally incremental in nature. I learned long ago that my impact on people will be combined with that of many other things and people. It all has a role to play though. At the end of the day it isn’t about what we see outside of us it’s about what we see in the mirror. Beyond that we can’t hold ourselves responsible for the choices of others.
Killing and guns. Once again it comes down to looking in to the mirror. If someone is okay with taking a life over “stuff” then I am thinking that looking in to the mirror is the least of the accounting there will be. One day they will have to account for their actions to a much higher power.
I have often said I would “roll the pennies” for them. It’s just stuff.
You are on the right track lady.
You are not alone in your search for the meaning of life. This world is not nearly as divided and hateful as the dishonest media would have you believe. They need to create victims and strife. Love your neighbor be helpful and courteous and nice to your fellow human being, and everything is going to work out.
Yes! I totally agree with you. It is frustrating to try to be optimistic when it seems like so many people will never change. I know for myself, though, that you are right, you never know how a small comment or deed will impact people even though you will never know it. I feel like I pray and pray and pray for people and situations to change, sometimes it takes years and even decades to see prayers answered. It’s always God’s time table not mine, unfortunately. I am a very sensitive person, like you, and I wish I weren’t. I would love to not worry so much or think so deeply and try to figure everything out, because I never will and that drives me crazy! In the end, we can only do the best we can and be ok with that.
The wall you painted is stunning. Also, I agree with you.
Every time I read your articles your color bleeds into mine. The minute you’re ready to stop searching, your answers will find you.
I 100% agree with you. At my slightly older than you age I have come to just be me, do what I can and be a positive light. I avoid those who try to extinguish my light and give them grace.
Thank You. This was really needed …by me. I just had the worst family outing ever, and they we’re getting together to celebrate my birthday! Usually my family is a joy to me and I was having trouble reconciling this trip with my love of my family. But that joy still has to come from me and my desire for a healthy, loving, close family. It takes work! And it might as well start with me. Love is an action, just like kindness.
Thank you for being you and sharing with the world.
I have pondered about and agree with everything you’ve just written. Why do people act in certain ways and what has happened in their life to predicate their response?
Just my thoughts (with zero ill intent) about guns. I think holding a gun could possibly stave off bad intentions from intruders. I’m not saying that the gun has to be loaded ( hopefully my bluff won’t be called!) I will admit that if someone was trying to hurt my family- I will absolutely use force. I don’t mean that I will or want to kill anybody but I will use any means to stop them ie: shoot in the foot, leg or any place non- fatal.
Maybe what I said is going to be unpopular, but I’m a Mama Bear and will defend my babies without hesitation.
Again, just my thoughts. In no way am I trying to negate yours.
Thank you so much Emily for your insight.
I feel that I myself feel the same as you….but I deal with quite a few less people than you.
I have always felt that I can’t imagine why you would shoot someone for stealing your TV. My cat or people I love maybe?!?! I am poor, no family left, all deceased even my wife (a minister). I live in a 450 squ foot Apt. on $800 a month SS. I still give to church and
get in big trouble with friends for giving the $10. In my pocket to someone who asks if I can spare anything. I don’t ask them what and why they need it. Jesus never asked he just helped. Of course my friends say they will just waste but I don’t think God is going to judge me or YOU for trying to make this a better world. I’m sure She would be pleased with you trying rather than all the people who use Christ as their excuse for abusing people and treating women like chattel. I swear I have never read any support for their attitudes in the Bible. It’s tough and frustrating but it is also “The mystery of our faith “. Or as my 1st. Boss said, in veterinary medicine you will win some battles but remember. Every
patient you have will pass away and you have to find the will to go on in all those pets being healthy and loving pets as long as they did because of you. Take care my friend, good DOES win out over
Evil.
Love these sentiments, Dr. Emily. I struggle with why people are so hateful, but all I can do is try to be kind and share unconditional love.
I read a Peanuts comic book years ago that Charlie Brown was told “Be the best Charlie Brown you can be.” I like that. I believe you are being the best Dr. Emily Thomas you can be. I believe you and Tony are doing just that. Keep up the great work, and keep being you!
Accept that you can’t change others and are not powerful enough t0 fix the world. That will bring you peace which will shine to everyone you meet.
Find your inner piece.
Thanks for your thoughts on this struggle we all have to be better people. I congratulate you on your thoughtfulness. I hope that others feel the way that you do. We try to make the best decisions based on our faith/beliefs but wonder if we’re really making a difference. I believe that we are, even if we don’t know it. It might just be from someone hearing us treating someone courteously who was rude to us, and that person then goes on to behave in the same manner if they are treated rudely. It’s disheartening sometimes to feel that the world is all bad but it’s not; that seems to be the only thing we hear about on the news/internet/social media, etc. There’s still kindness and good out there, and we can contribute to that and spread it. Keep up your good work! Thanks for your beautiful words.
You are wise beyond your years. For me It works to keep on living by faith and praying daily.
I was busy raising four kids when I was your age, so it took a while to learn to“let go and let God”., but I trust Him enough now to live that way.
Bless you and your family!
You have made some excellent points. I may not totally agree the same as you and that is okay.. I am a Believer, too, who struggles with some of the same issues. Keep thinking, keep writing your blog. I care about you as a person and as a wonderful veterinarian.
Didn’t piss me off. I agree with you.
You are entitled to your own opinion, just like the ones that get pissed off. Don’t worry about them!
You will find your way!
We have to just get up every morning and try. That’s all we can do. God Bless.
How do we change the world? One person at a time . . . and that person is us.
Did you ever think that people who live a life without Christ, are more miserable than you can ever imagine? That’s the behavior you’re seeing in others, in the world.
I am wiccan, my friends range from Christianity to atheists. We are all happy, kind, help out our neighbors, and volunteer in the community. One friend has traveled to some of the most dangerous places in the world during disasters doing search and rescue/recovery and humanitarian work. He is one of the nicest people you will ever meet. He is agnostic and definitely not miserable. Christ doesn’t make one happy. How you live your life and your world view plays more of a roll in your attitude. I write this without malice or ill intentions. This is just my truth. Peace be with you.
I’m 93 and still asking the same questions. A few I do have answers for but it doesn’t really help. The important thing is that we are asking and not just accepting.
Like yourself, I am so anti-gun, but it is much easier for me to take that stand as a Canadian. I cannot understand why so many ppl in the USA think that having weapons in their homes, that are made only for the purpose of taking the lives of others, is the be-all and end-all of rights. It baffles me that one would even want a gun of any type in a home with children living in it, never mind an assault rifle 😢But of course, your blog is not for such debates. I agree with you, that if the seed can be planted that may make a difference, whether it is about gun control or simply being kind to others, keep forging ahead.
Thank you for giving us something to think about. There’s far too little grace and empathy in today’s world. I’m reminded of a recent song lyric from the Australian band Midnight Oil: “There’s a famine of compassion, Good people are forgotten”.
That is some really Heavy thinking. Loved it💜💗💚
After years of shrinks, therapy, and a pharmacy of drugs, the best thing I learned was you only have control over yourself. I went a world where everyone can live in peace, where hunger and poverty are non-existent. Where tolerance tempers our differences. Where every religion can practice freely without being intrusive or hateful. A world where racism, mysogynism, and hate doesn’t exist. And a country that values an open and true education. As much as I yearn for this world it will never be. People like you and me are many, living in love, tolerance, and caring for our neighbors, community, and country. Unfortunately the actions and words of the hateful, power hungry, righteous minority bellow over your voices. To find peace you have to turn off the noise that has made all our lives miserable. I quit the news, social media and network and cable. I shelter and center myself with family, friends, and being a volunteer firefighter. I try and make a difference whenever I can and ignore the hate filled voices that tell me I am a communist, fascist, threat to my country. That tell me I am evil for my beliefs. These voices will never change because they believe its everyone else that is wrong. We all have our time before God. I have to trust God to judge me, no one else can. I know you suffer and hurt and having strong feelings of empathy can sometimes feel like a curse but it is also what can make you stronger. Empathy provides purpose, and purpose is life. As much as I look forward to reading your blog and my respect for you, you may have to take a break for your own well being. There are still a lot of good people in this world, and I like to think of myself as one, if you ever need to talk. Peace be upon you.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I’m so glad there are people like you in the world. Blessings to you and your family.
I always pray to be more like Jesus, less like me, WiTHOUT getting taken advantage of. I pray to love yet set healthy boundaries, something I struggle with. Then there’s a side of me that says it doesn’t matter if I get walked over because in the end that’s between that person and their Maker. I flip flop but darn it I try everyday to be a Blessing to others.
You’re a good person, Emily. The world does need that balance, so keep on being kind and letting your light shine. I can probably talk to you for hours about this blog topic. You can’t change the whole world, but you can influence your little part of it. So keep on shining.
Dr. Emily, I agree with pretty much everything you said. By treating people the way you want to be treated is not just the “golden rule”, it is also biblical. Just because I may hold a different political opinion than someone else, that does not give me the right to treat them like garbage. We are called to love our neighbors AND our enemies. Now grant it, some people make it harder than others, but we are still to love them.
I think you’ve got it pretty well nailed. Do the best you can do and have faith God will work it for His purposes.
This was a brilliant post. You are a very inspiring woman. Anyone who would be angry at this post is not anyone to consider.
We protect those we love. So shooting an intruder is justifiable. Thanks
Thank you for sharing your heart! I think everyone at some point in their lives wonder the same thing…what does it matter? I am in my late 70’s now and I have seen myself change as I grow older from being a rebellious answer-seeker who challenged authorities to someone who seeks wisdom and understanding from others and those who study the word of God. If we, on our journey, can plant one seed into someone regarding that peace that passes all understanding then I would say it’s all worth it! I’m thankful for those who planted that seed into me! I pray God continues to bless you on your journey!
Thank you for sharing your heart! I think everyone at some point in their lives wonder the same thing…what does it matter? I am in my late 70’s now and I have seen myself change as I grow older from being a rebellious answer-seeker who challenged authorities to someone who seeks wisdom and understanding from others and those who study the word of God. If we, on our journey, can plant one seed into someone regarding that peace that passes all understanding then I would say it’s all worth it! I’m thankful for those who planted that seed into me! I pray God continues to bless you on your journey! Thank you again!
Very well said. More people should read this and it will sure make them think b4 doing something they will regret. My husband always said “observe first and think b4 you do something”
You are a very good person Emily, many people don’t have your view Of the life. You are a healer and and want people to be treated in a kind and thoughtful way. You are analytical to the point where you wonder why people do the things that are harmful. You say to yourself, it makes no sense for people to harm others or to be harmed. The words some people say can be very harmful, or to be lied to. You can be confrontational to those who do the harming, only to find out that they are in different to what they do or say, and likewise what they don’t do. In that case, just walk away from them and seek a positive environment, just go in peace my child.
Thank you Emily for sharing your “fight” with us; it lets some of us know that we are not alone in this battle. Sometimes, as hard as we try, it seems like the weight of the world is on our shoulders and it gets really heavy after a while. We are all here for you and just want you to know that.
ps: I love your flower-painted wall-that is gorgeous and I certainly know that it would lift my spirits to have that to look at every day.
Take care of yourself, sending a big hug to you. 🙂
The fight is not ours. The fight belongs to Jesus Christ. The weight of the world is not on our shoulders. It’s on the Lords.
Love your posts! Love your prospective!
Some things that you talked about I have pondered here’s what I’ve come up with. I figure we are in the University of Earth life. It’s the hard stuff and we have to overcome many challenges on Earth to Rise Above It All. So right now we are in the Book of Revelations and everybody has to choose the old system or the new spiritual system there won’t be any Darkness on Earth. So many people have different soul Origins. Some people are from darker planets so they attack first and ask questions later. That’s a good solution though to shoot Intruders in the leg. I love your stories and ponderings thank you. I still miss you on Dr Pol
Nothing bad to say about your post, makes a lot of sense and would be nice if more people in the world thought the same way.
You make me happy. Thank you
Love the mural, Dr. Emily.
And as a person of Ukrainian *and* Russian heritage, I’m doubly heartbroken by the war and its effects. Sometimes you just have to pet a dog, but they don’t allow pets in my complex, and I can’t tolerate pee and poop anyway.
Keep being you. If there were more people like you, maybe peace would be possible.
I have been on a similar mental journey for a long time now. You are not alone! I tend to think that everything has two sides. How would we know what kindness is if unkindness does not exist? And how on earth can I make a difference as I am just one? Well, there are a lot of people like us out there and we all help bring balance to the world. All we have to do is be as kind and caring as we can be. That does not mean we have to let others treat us bad as we have to kind and caring towards ourselves too! If our example changes even one other person’s day that is a seed that has been planted.
Love the pink added to your hair.
Thanks for explaining the reason for changing employers, it takes a really big person to share that part of themselves with others. I’m no doctor of any type at all. There’s so much going on inside a woman’s body and mind chemically as well as physically that even the experts have to fake it as if they had a clue. But in addition to all of that, even if your husband was sent from heaven, a moms job is never done.
You’re a stronger person than most of us are for sacrificing fame and money for family. Thanks for what you shared on the show and what you’re sharing in your blog now. You’re a strong strong person for doing what you do for your family and those are the only people you owe anything to. But thanks for sharing yourself with us animal loving friends.
You are not alone in your questions, and I share your hope. I’m glad there are people like you in this world.
Thanks for your thoughts on the foibles of being human, Emily. You have a big heart and wear it on your sleeve. It’s easy for soft-hearted folks to feel the bumps and bruises of sharing the world with other people who are just as imperfect as we are. It’s no wonder Jesus sweated great drops of blood! We can never hope to live up to His example. All we can do is try our best and call on God for the rest. Thank God for His Grace! Keep on keeping on, Emily. You’re far more influential and beloved than you’ll ever realize. We are our own worst critic.
Well stated. I agree with everything you said . I may be one of the few people who live life this way but I’m happy and content. By the way I love your painted wall!!!
Thank you for this. It really helped me. I’m naive, feel bullied and taken for granted most of the time, and I wonder why. I still try to give grace. But maybe my problem is that I’m happy when I make other people happy.
I am having the same struggles as you. I could have written your blog. It makes me wish I could have a conversation with you to help make sense of it all. Thank you for sharing your true feelings, just because others may have different views should not cause anger or hate. Keep sharing your thoughts and feelings, not only is it interesting but helps increase our own self awareness.