Like, seriously, what’s the likeliness my kids will be a president? Like even less than if they were a professional athlete, right?
When I was growing up and even after I was an adult and had kids, I would hear the thing about “raising the future leaders of the world” and just chucked that idea to the side because 1. I certainly was not going to be a leader – I’m average at best at everything I do. And 2. It’s just statistically unlikely that I or my children will every actually be a leader high up in the rankings. So, I never thought much of that saying and even thought it was a little hokey to say. Then, the other night, I was lying in bed, unable to sleep, letting my mind wander when this idea came upon me.
What if that saying does not literally mean that we could be raising the next US president or diplomat or religious leader? What if it just meant that we are raising people who will influence other people throughout their life? I think that sounds much more important. Like every child has the opportunity to influence those around them and, therefore be a leader.
The idea that I, as a single person in a world of billions, can influence the world to be a better place is, at least, slightly less of a daunting and crushing idea if you imagine that every person you come in contact with can be influenced to be a better person, even if they don’t show it right away. But, then imagine your creating little clones of yourself, little helpers (children, not robots) that can then go out and spread the same message as they were raised (after they come back from the dark side of the moon, anyways). If you can influence, let’s say 10 people, now with 3 kids, you and them can get 40. And if they each have 3 kids now, we’ve influenced 100 people to be better.
Obviously, this is all speculative. My kids could resent me for some reason or get into drugs or “the wrong crowd” and not follow this path. Or I could be crazy and just be perpetuating the crazy by spreading it with my kids, but for now, for the idea that we are raising leaders of the world, even if they’re small leaders who spread the love, lets just imagine that everyone does this, and so a multitude of very small leaders leads to a large change and better society.
So, let’s raise our children to be those (small group) leaders who can influence others to do the right thing and to make a better world for themselves. I think that is a much more attainable and worthy goal for our kids. When I think about parenting in those terms, I feel like I’m doing a little more for the world by trying to hold in my temper or fly off the handle about something without the proper pause and introspection. (I still lose my temper with them sometimes, no worries). I try to make sure I treat strangers with respect and give them the benefit of the doubt. I try to quell my children’s anger when they are mad at each other or another kid at school and try to make them think about the situation from the other side or even consider that they may be mistaken in what they perceived happened. I’ve been pretty impressed with their perception of right and wrong in situations, understanding that they are all still very young and sweet.
Things they do that makes me proud of who they are right now: Calvin was having his birthday party to turn 5 recently and when asked who he wanted to invite, his very first people on his list were India and Oscar’s best friends because he “wanted India and Oscar to have a fun time”. Oscar consistently makes sure that others around him are taken care of (when he’s not fighting with his siblings). If there’s candy offered and Calvin or India aren’t there, he will make sure to give some of his candy to them when he finally sees them. He traded one of his toys for another toy he knew Calvin had wanted and surprised him with it.
India, our precious baby girl, is not our sweetest kid, she has been known to be on the spicy side (pummeled a boy with a hippity-hop in kindergarten who was picking on her and the other day threatened any imaginary person who is picking on Oscar in the future) but she’s very fair and responsible, volunteering to help the boys or us to make our lives easier. India has also been more curious in civil rights lately, asking if I think black people are equal to white and then wants to know why other people don’t think they are. I get to take that opportunity to educate her about how awful white people were to black people and see her astonishment that that was ever a thing. Then she asks about last names and I get to discuss how women were also once thought of as “less than”. It hurts to have to educate her on these things but hopefully, it will open her eyes to modern day injustices and continue to spread love and acceptance and that’s all I can ask for.
And, yes, we HAVE talked to India about our vast preference for non-violence. We have talked with her about calling for help, getting an adult, calling 911, all before getting physical.
So, the next time you are worried about your child maybe not being presidential material, and are wondering how on earth you are supposed to influence the world with little ol’, regular you, just imagine creating a loving, caring being in your child who will one day grow up to be someone special to every person they encounter. That your child could be an extension of your own love and and desire for peace and unity. Our children are, literally, the future. We won’t be around in the next 100 years, so let’s make sure our values are continued on and grow even as we wither and pass.
Beautifully said.
This is so eloquently said. My youngest of 3 is now 36. I did try to make sure they treated everyone with kindness and respect. A funny quick story — My oldest will be 39 next month. When he was in 2nd grade, he came home one day all excited. I asked what happened . He said, “You know my friend James?” I said yes. (James is black). He then, “His family came to lunch today and you know what?” Me: What? My kid said “His whole family is black!!” I chuckled and told him that’s usually the way it goes. He just said “Wow, cool.” LOL We do all we can to help our kids to do their best and be the best person they can. Mine have turned out to be very nice and responsible adults. And, believe me, there were times I wasn’t real optimistic. You are giving them a great foundation. Bravo!
Sounds like a worthy goal!
If your kids turn out to be kind, caring people then you have done well. They could lead by example.
Excellent!
Best outlook. And for us as adults, each new day give us the opportunity to show love to one another, to be the kind one. We can then forgive ourselves when we fail in this effort and just try again. I’ve been married a long, long time, lol. People ask the secret. I usually say that “would you, could you, please and thank you” go a long way. It comes down to appreciation and acknowledgment. Because love is a choice we make every day.
What a beautiful ❤️ you have Emily. Thank God that your voice can (and has) influenced so many. Hearing about how your clear-headed, open -minded and universally-loving philosophy is being passed on to your children is so comforting. In these tumultuous times filled with so much “me-first-ism”, suspicion, blind hatred and fear, I pray that love, generosity and acceptance will win out. Love to you, Tony and your lively, growing and loving kiddos. Thank you for sharing your life with us all.
Love this.
Absolutely LOVE this!
The way you and Tony live your live and mirror your values on a day to day basis are the strongest lesson you can give-and it sounds like you are teaching it very well!
One of our girls has a PhD and lectures at a university in the U. K. Each year her students give her glowing reviews and she has surely affected the lives of many young people with her passion for literature. Our other daughter is a highly-certified paramedic and along with her team has saved the lives of many patients. (Also, we instilled the love of reading into both kids at an early age.)
Love this post. Wish we could all take it to heart and make our world a happier, more peaceful place.
Great post dr. Emily.
I think that children must grow up with their vision and the help of parents.
The situations that you described is very common but is foundamental the parents help.
Have a good day dr. Emily.
Marco
This is a very old saying, I’m 70 and my parents said it to me, but followed it up by saying, we should always be leading others to a better place, whether it is taking a meal to the shut-ins or helping someone with work. You are right, it really isn’t about being President, it is about being the very best person you can be. Birds of a feather flock together, so choose your friends wisely was another well used saying in our home. Enjoy your blog. Blessings.
Dear Dr Emily
I appreciate your no nonsense blogs. Each one is different, but yet each one is still no nonsense. Our three kids are raised and have 2 or 3 kids of their own. They all have dogs and/or cats. It is good to know that one of my favorite vets has good sense when raising kids and when ministering medicinal treatment to pets. Thank you for taking time to blog with us. I hope others that read this will have pleasant reactions, too.
Have a fabulous day!
Beautifully written Emily. Just beautiful ❤️👍
I agree completely with everything you said except one thing you said you were average and I think you are far above average I can tell that you are an amazing vet and a great mom it just comes out in your words .thank you so much for your blogs I enjoy them so much.
I have seen many videos and have read many posts attributable to a very pretty young vet that belie her statement “ I am average, at best, at everything l do”……
Got any idea who that might be…?.
nice post, Em…….Peace kids🙏👍🐄🐎😋
WONDERFUL!!
It made me take a look at my kids (well, maybe not). Moving on to my grandkids (well, a little more hope) and the most beloved 5 year old great grandson that always thinks of how everyone around him is feeling. He wants smiles from everyone and will do his best to make this happen….I guess there’s hope for my family after all…just a few generations down!! Great thought provoking post. Thanks!!
Thank you for bringing us up to date about your kids.
Raising future leaders has never meant to me my four sons, or any of them, would be President. There are leaders all over the place. One of my sons teaches in one of the high schools in your town. Another has his own business and works from home, yet travels around the world for it. The other two are leaders in their own way. Being a leader means they have confidence and make good decisions. Sounds like you are well on your way to raising good, strong leaders.
You and Tony are doing an amazing job raising your children. It’s very easy to see where they get their manners from and how they respect and love people. You & Tony are the epitome of it!!
Love from Canada
Thanks again for another message of love, common sense, and understanding of our role in this world. You don’t sugar coat but tell it like it is .Like Jesus.
Love
Johnm
Bonito Posteo. Saludos Emily!
“Average at best”, Nope! You are an influence to so many. Look how many people follow you on all your social media platforms. Even I, an old man, take what you say as an inspiration for my life. I have watched you work on T.V. and your way above average. You take you time and think out a situation and get it right. You are methodical and accurate in what you do. Average, no! But a God given talent of caring and respect even in times of discourse. Love your post and may God keep you and your family safe. Blessings
You can rest assured, Dr. Emily, that you and Tony have done your part by raising three children who live by the values that the two of you have taught them (and exemplified for them).
When my son passed away at the age of 29 I was astonished at the number of folks came to his funeral from other states. He seldom left our small town, but still managed to influence many. I totally agree that our jobs as parents are all important and that we must always remember that we are their first and most important teachers. Hang in there Mom…you’re onto something.
Amen
Amen !
What a great post!!Thank you! You are 100% right about how important it is to become a positive influence to people. I pray your job search is going well and you are feeling better. I still miss you not being on Dr. POL!! BEST WISHES!!!
Amen, sister. My kids are grown and out on their own for some time. We had these discussions with them when they were growing up and we STILL talk about what’s going on in the world now. Emphasis was always on it only takes a little effort to do the right thing, to stand up for your values, to intercede to protect those who don’t have a big enough voice, etc. You and Tony are obviously doing a great job.
Teenage years are different. They don’t have to be rough, but they are different. I noticed my IQ suddenly dropped when they got to be about 15. When they got up to about 25, my IQ started increasing again. It was nothing short of miraculous. 😀
What a thoughtful and wonderful piece to read on this fine Saturday! Your insight and Love is already spreading and inspiring others.
Love and Peace to the world! I’ll try my best to carry on what you just started.
Great post, keep up the good work!
Go Emily! Forget the internet sensations and we all need to concentrate on those little “influencers” that will impact lives after we are gone.
So incredibly well said.
Yes Dr. Emily you are a great influence on so many. Keep up your work your prayers and your parenting.
Try and get some sleep ❤️!
So incredibly well said.
Yes Dr. Emily you are a great influence on so many. Keep up your work your prayers and your parenting.
Try and get some sleep ❤️!