I realize that I may lose some followers with this one, but I felt it needed to be said… for the 40 millionth time. This is not a political post, race relations spans all of humanity whether or not you believe we should tax the rich.
First of all, I feel like people immediately get offended and on the defensive when “white privilege” is mentioned and it really shouldn’t be that way. It’s a term to simply ask you to stop, think with your heart, hear what people are saying, and try to see life through the eyes of a person of color. As white people, even though we don’t realize it most of the time, we are given certain privileges that others don’t see. We expect that if we enter a building, we will be treated courteously and not be followed by a security guard. We expect that if a police officer pulls us over and we are polite and courteous, that everything will go okay except maybe the ticket we take home. We even expect that when we do raise a little hell and talk back to the authority figures, that more than likely, we will not end up dead.
Let’s think of “white privilege” as like what royals or “A list” celebrities experience compared to what the average citizen might. A royal walks up to pretty much anywhere they want and security guards simply step aside and question nothing. However, at that same location, an average citizen would be IDed and have their bag inspected before entering.
I thought that I understood my privilege before and I was ashamed of it. But being ashamed does nothing, and in the wrong mindset, causes bitterness and resentment. I thought I understood until one day, I was scrolling through Facebook after a few recent stories about innocent black men being killed for things as innocent as simply going for a jog and saw a friend’s post. Let me tell you about Cherice, a black veterinarian. I barely know her. I joined a Facebook group that is for veterinarians who are mothers and is a place where we can talk about cases, ask for parenting advice, or just vent about rough times in our lives. A couple of years ago, I posted about the very hard time I was having working at the clinic I was at and expressed my feelings of frustration, severe depression, and of being trapped. She was one of the first members to privately message me and give me support and pour out her life story to let me know that I was not alone.
Later, we became Facebook friends and, eventually met at a Veterinary conference where we got to have a brief chat between lectures and got to hug each other – finally through all the help she’d extended to me. Cherice had NO IDEA who I was when she reached out to me, but gave me her heart and soul. So, when all this was coming out about Ahmaud Arbery, I saw a post from her on Facebook that made my heart sink and tears immediately well up in my eyes. She posted an adorable picture of her two little boys taking a bath, and wrote:
“At this point I have no idea how to keep my own sons alive. I imagine I’m supposed to feel “lucky” that they don’t look “that” brown. Maybe they will get a pass and someone won’t kill them. I don’t even know how to feel about even typing that”
Read it again.
I thought I understood what it meant that I have unwritten privileges that people of color (POC) do not. I thought I got it that when I send someone my resume or have an interview on the phone, I am lucky enough to not have to worry about if my name sounded white or if my accent sounded white enough. I thought I understood that my father was able to go from absolute dirt poor to second in command at the Robins Air Force base because of the opportunities and unspoken advantages available to him from his time of birth that allowed him to succeed and get into Georgia Tech (one of the first white colleges in the south to allow black people and not even until 1968 – that’s ONE generation, not 100s of years ago), and get the promotions he got. I thought I had pretty well educated myself by watching documentaries and shows on Netflix such as “Dear White People” – where the main character looks almost exactly like my niece (white/black blend).
Then, I read Cherice’s post, guys, and my guts. Hit. The. Floor. I have suffered from post partum anxiety where you are constantly in fear your child will be harmed or die to the point that I sought help. I cannot watch shows where a child or baby is in danger, even though I know it’s fiction. But, to read her post and think that of all the crazy scenarios I have pulled through my head, I have never thought what would happen when my babies grow up and someone sees them and immediately judges them as a criminal just by the way they look. I will likely never have to, but what if I did? What kind of pain it must be for POC to create the most beautiful sweet babies, the centers, the loves of their lives, and know that others will likely look at them like they are less than. Not only that, but have to worry that because of the way they look, people may even want to harm or kill them.
This is white privilege. No one is asking white people to feel ashamed. We cannot help that we were born into privilege just as they cannot help they were born not white. What we can do, though is talk about it. Next time you are driving down the road or watching TV, try to note the ratio of white to black or POC you see when it comes to movies, shows, even simple billboards. Black people and POC have a stigma and none of it is being helped by the majority of the everyday people we see in the media being white. If we could surround ourselves by a normalcy of seeing POC doing everyday things that we can all relate to, maybe the idea of seeing a POC would not be so shocking.
When I moved to mid Michigan from the south, I had been there about 2-3 WEEKS before I saw a black person. I was so excited, I called Tony who was still trying to get all our stuff together in South Carolina. Despite the fact that I saw like one POC in the first 2-3 weeks I was there, and not many in between that time and when I left 5 years later, some people there were still racist. I wondered “how can you be racist when you don’t even see black people?” The only thing I can reason (because everything needs reason) is that these people only knew black people in the media. And what does mainstream media normally show black people as? That’s right. Nothing. There’s not even a normalcy for black people in the movies. It’s definitely getting better, but not much. So, for these people living in mid Michigan in their mostly white world, black people and POC are basically foreign to them, and anything foreign must not be trusted.
So, when you consider your white privilege, don’t get mad. Don’t be offended. Don’t immediately start swinging. Try to see the world through the eyes of the unpopular and try to think of anything you can do to help. Helping can be anything from purposefully hiring a POC (qualified, obviously – and so many are) to just looking deep inside yourself to make a change, then spreading that change to anyone who will listen. It’s 2020 and there’s still leaps and bounds of progress we can make.
I’m sorry if this post has somehow offended you. I mean literally zero ill will. I just want to help bridge people together. Sometimes it’s hard to think of yourself as needing to grow, I face it everyday in my own work as a vet. I’m never the best I can be, I can always be better. So can you. <3
Thanks to my friend, Cherice for approving my use of her quote. I will keep you in my prayers and hope the world changes sooner rather than later.
Love, Emily
