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Let’s hear it for the clients!
So, I’ve written about some of the more annoying things clients can do or ask of us. To be fair, the majority of our clients are considerate and polite. It’s like always having something funny and typically negative to say about your spouse or kids when you’re telling stories in public – if I spent all of your attentive time talking about how sweet my husband can be or how squishy my kids’ cheeks are, you would quickly grow bored and may have to hold back your gag reflex. So, I decided I’d write about the good guys (and gals) who keep me in this profession – and will try to keep it entertaining.
Mr. Dean:
When I was working at my first job in South Carolina, it was my first time being a small animal vet and there was a huge learning curve. When I first met Mr. Dean, he was an imposing character. Older man, gruff, zero time for formalities or politeness. Not that he was rude, but he surely didn’t take the time for making you feel better about yourself. He was a hunter and had his pack of beagles. One of his beagles he brought to me wasn’t “doin’ too good” and we ended up diagnosing with kidney failure.
Mr. Dean was a very concerned owner. He would come to the office and just talk to me about his dog and his condition often and let me know how he was doing. I told him over and over about the basics of kidney failure and that a low protein diet was important to help his dog’s kidneys, but he continued to tell me how he makes him hand rolled meatballs every night for dinner and he “knows it’s not right, but he just loves them”. Then, he finally got to where his dog would eat biscuits. So, every morning, Mr. Dean and his wife would get up and make biscuits from scratch just to feed to their ailing dog.
Eventually, his dog got to the point where it was time to make “the decision” and Mr. Dean asked me to come to the house to euthanize his beloved beagle. This gruff, hardened man softened greatly at this point. It was hard to see, but we had been working so closely with his dog that I knew it was time to say goodbye. After his favorite beagle had passed, he gave me a tour of his property and his “hunting kennels”. These were not your typical hunting dog kennels – they were immaculately clean, the dogs were all allowed into the house at some point during the day. This gruff old man who spends his time hunting rabbits and turkey, even had a couple of turkeys that he had taken in as pets. I don’t know much else about him, but if I died and came back as a beagle, I would certainly want to come back as one of his.
There was one guy that I met after helping him deal with his ailing old boxer and then, eventually, euthanizing. In the next few weeks, we were all so happy to see him come in with a new little bulldog type puppy. That little puppy was just a little hopping ray of sunshine! He made us happy, but most importantly, he made his mourning owner happy. Everything was as usual through puppy vaccines, neuter, and into his first year of life. And then, it happened. The owner rushed this young dog into see us because he had been seizing and would not stop. We worked on him for what felt like forever, giving anti-seizure medicine, placing an IV, running blood, had him on monitoring, but we could not get him to stop seizing. I called my boss as I was still a new graduate and asked what else we could do. He told me to try giving tiny amounts of the euthanasia solution (which is just a concentrated anti-seizure medication) until the seizure stopped.
This was the point where I had to make the decision of whether to allow this dog to continue to seizure or give him euthanasia solution to SEE IF IT WOULD work. This was in the middle of nowhere with no access to emergency veterinary care, I was alone, I was still wet behind the ears, and everyone was looking to me to fix it. I went outside the building and started crying. This was all too much for me. Then I thought of one of the girls working there as an assistant and how I had heard her talk about how weak girls can be in situations of stress. So, I stopped crying and went back into the building and started titrating euthanasia solution (pentobarbital) until the sweetest little bulldog stopped seizing.
It took him almost 12 hours to come back to consciousness, but when he did, he wasn’t the same happy, go lucky sweet puppy. He was angry, charging the cage, growling, snapping. I talked to the owner and said that this can sometimes happen with the post-ictal phase where the brain is recovering and that we would just need to give him more time. He did not recover. Finally, the owner came in to see him to see if the dog would recognize him. He didn’t. Just like with us, he charged the opening of the cage, trying to bite this sweet man who was dealt too many unfair hands. Then the owner made the heart wrenching decision to euthanize. We could not even reach into the cage to get to the injection port in his IV line. We had to just stab the needle through the plastic line and give it that way.
Broken hearts are a commonality in this profession. That owner didn’t deserve that. He was a great owner, always wonderful to us, and was even gracious after the fact, knowing that we had done everything we could.
There have been farm clients that understand that we are hot, tired, likely deprived of calories. I had one client who brought me out a freshly made smoothie in a glass after I had worked on her horse’s lacerations. Numerous clients who have brought out water, soda, coffee, some even offered beer or wine. I had one client invite me in for lunch after working on his horses. I met his family, felt 100% too grungy to be in this nice of a house and around this much money, but it was so nice to feel welcome, especially when being called out for an emergency. Small animal clients who bring us buckets of coffee and doughnuts, buy us pizza, or a sandwich spread, cookies, baked goods for Christmas, even a card sent just saying thank you.
I had one client in Michigan, who, upon hearing that I was leaving, brought in a present of a bottle of wine made from their grapes in their garden (not a vineyard), displayed on a wooden wine bottle holder the owner made from wood from their own trees. The wine bottle was decorated with a picture of the horse that I had helped them with. I still have that bottle on my kitchen counter and am afraid to mess it up by opening it.
There have been so many good clients, it’s hard to tell a full story about each of them. There was the client who was comforting ME while I was euthanizing HER horse. She was very worried about me and having to do the procedure. There was one who gave me a beautiful drawing of their dog I had worked on. There are all of those who have their animal caught and restrained for us when we get there, or let us know ahead of time that their dog or cat has been known to bite – instead of waiting until we have finished listening to their heart and then suddenly have to dodge the teeth coming at our face only to have the owner say “yeah, I thought he might do that” – and ALL the ones that understand that we are slammed with sick patients and don’t grumble at us when we fly into their exam rooms, hair disheveled, 15 minutes late.
Then, there are all the clients who just make our job easier and, dare I say, worth while by the simple act of *drum roll!!!!* following our suggestions. It’s that easy. Sometimes, when I see a client coming in for a recheck, I get excited that they are actually coming back! And then, when I find out they’ve been giving the medications as I said (though I understand some animals are difficult to medicate – but at least they gave it “the old college try”) and using the products I told them would help the most – talk about a heart fluttering moment! I’m not even talking about spending all the money on all the available diagnostics and treatments, just giving a medication every 8 hours like I said, or applying ear medication once EVERY day, or decreasing the number of treats and food given and getting their dog to lose weight.
Some clients have really grown into our lives and become our friends that we think of on a daily basis, even if we moved far far away – Mr. Dean, I still “peench ” them dogs real hard before I give an injection, and you’re right, it seems to help.
Some clients feel the need to connect with us with gifts, which is awesome!
But, as medical professionals, we mostly only get to revisit the cases that are not improving despite the hours of research and brainstorming we have been giving to that animal; who have the call backs from clients complaining or upset; who pour hours of emotional weight onto people; consoling them or talking them through difficult decisions, knowing bad news and preparing to tell the owner who is waiting so hopefully in the room for something “easy” to fix, telling them bad news and just watching as the shock hits them followed by the collapse of their shoulders and welling of tears. ALL DAY. EVERY DAY.
So, being a polite, considerate owner when things are okay for you and your pet, or taking advice on treatment for your animal, or letting us know when something got better (even if we totally expected it to) is all it takes to be a good client in our eyes. Unfortunately, sometimes, we have to put up walls of armor through humor, usually dark humor, so I apologize to those who were offended by my last post, but at the end of the day, we’re all just softies who can’t watch movies where animals get hurt, and who break down crying when we watch a Subaru commercial, but sometimes have to use sarcasm as a way to make it through the day.
What’s coming into the clinic?
I’ve decided to compile a collection of expected diagnosis based solely on judging a book by its cover. Basically, what we, as vets see coming in and go ahead and make large assumptions (normally we assume the worst or most obnoxious). So, here are some presentations and the expected problem.
Basset hound/Cocker spaniels: Ears. Always ears. Even if they’re just coming in for a rabies vaccine only and refuse to pay an exam fee, they will want you to check out their ears…. and a nail trim.
Red/white/blue pit bull: skin – allergies and or mange. Dilute colors = skin issues – also nail trim.
Labrador (any age, any color) not eating/vomiting – foreign body – ate toy, golf balls, raw hides, rocks, dry wall, socks, underwear, etc.
Any female dog over the age of 1 year and not spayed – WILL ALWAYS BE PYOMETRA until proven otherwise – and owner will give you a guilt trip about the expense of the emergency surgery “So you’re just going to let my dog die then?!?” even though you told them from the beginning to get the dog spayed “No, sir, I did not tell you to NOT spay your dog” (avoid a $800-$4000 emergency bill)
Puppy (any breed) under 1 year of age presenting with diarrhea, inappetence, and/or vomiting: Parvo until proven otherwise.
English bulldog: this one is wide open but can include some or all of the following: skin issues – (allergies, hair loss, ear infections, skin infections), respiratory failure due to nonexistent nostrils, too long of a soft palate, heart failure, or obesity. Inability to use hind end due to hemivertebrae, spinal bifida, obesity. Eye issues due to entropion (eyelid curling inward causing eyelashes to scrape the eye), cherry eye (gland of third eyelid popping out), dry eye (eye is dry.. and covered in thick green mucus and crust). Infection of skin around butt hole due to tail corkscrewing around and stabbing them in their own butt, also obesity. C-section: they literally cannot have puppies naturally due to large heads, small pelvis, and, well, often obesity (most also have to be artificially inseminated due to their poor conformation). *** hint – if you want an english bulldog, go ahead and save for $1500-2500 PER year in vet bills.
Old chihuahua/toy poodle – coughing – heart failure – will want nail trim – dog will turn blue trying to bite us
Young chihuahua/toy poodle – broken leg from getting sneezed on
Great Dane – vomiting/retching/bloated – GDV or twisted stomach bloated. Get to the emergency clinic NOW – the stomach is likely dying as you drive.
Cat (outdoor) swollen leg/lump/lethargic – cat bite abscess – sometimes caused by just a friendly cat fight gone wrong, but much more often by a neighborhood Tom – they will try to breed anything with a cat shape – male, female, spayed, neutered, it doesn’t matter and the fights that ensue end up with someone getting a serious bite wound. Cats have a particularly nasty bacteria in their mouth similar to the bacteria in a komodo dragon’s mouth and the bite wound will fester and cause fever, lethargy, limping until it breaks open and drains. Antibiotics are very helpful.
Male cat – vocalizing in the litterbox/posturing to urinate, but nothing or very little coming out – blocked urethra – right now emergency! Don’t wait until morning. The urine backs up to the kidneys and causes serious, sometimes irreparable damage.
Same thing goes for castrated, male goats – looks like stretching, urine dribbling, loud vocalization, sometimes looks like constipated – it’s not constipated – get to vet immediately! Some studies have shown that if you wait to castrate until 6 months of age and avoid feeding grain altogether, you can avoid this fatal issue.
Older Dachshund/chihuahua/other tiny breed dogs: “trench mouth” – the teeth are rotting out of mouth – will also want a nail trim.
Dachshund of any age, unable to walk/stumbling: Intervertebral disk disease – the same gene that makes them short legged and long backed also makes their connective tissue crap and they will often “slip a disk” and without surgery +/- major anti-inflammatories, will be paralyzed – will definitely request a nail trim.
Coughing dog anywhere in the southeast – Heartworm until proven otherwise
Dog constipated: diarrhea – almost every time. Diarrhea causes straining, straining looks like constipation. Most owners, including myself don’t necessarily pay attention to their dog every time they go out, but will notice when the dog is going out all the time and straining.
Dog stares off into space, stumbles, or collapses when not walking, urinated on self – marijuana – just admit it and save us all a big “told you so” and, like, $400 in diagnostics. We won’t call the cops.
Any animal with the history of “I think my neighbor poisoned him” = anything except poisoning by the neighbor – just doesn’t happen.
Lump on boxer : mast cell tumor until proven otherwise
Dog with episodes of choking or “something stuck in throat” – allergies with reverse sneezing or kennel cough
Dog with lameness/stiffness/lethargy in certain areas of the country: lyme disease until proven otherwise
Small breed dog with hind limb lameness: luxating patella (knee cap slipping out of place)
Large breed dog with sudden hind limb lameness: ruptured cruciate ligament (like the ACL tear in athletes)
Goldens: especially the super sweet ones that belong to a special needs child: Cancer. Every F***ing time.
German Shepherd: will rush the door viciously barking as soon as you open the exam room door. Everyone in the clinic will hear and will assume you saw the shepherd. Will not let you touch it the whole time without heavy restraint, muzzle, sedation. Absolutely will request nail trim.
Cat with scabs all over body: fleas/flea allergy (even one bite from a flea can trigger the allergy in some cats)
Obese draft/quarter horse/donkey/pony that is stiff, doesn’t want to walk: founder/laminitis
Anything that is scratching and not on veterinary prescribed flea meds: fleas. Always fleas. Especially if the owner preaches essential oils and says there are absolutely not fleas and uses a natural remedy for flea control – fleas all day.
Cat with significant weight loss: and drinking a lot/not eating: kidney failure. Eating a ton/personality change: hyperthyroidism
Anything named “Lucky” or “Miracle” = doomed.
Anything named “Angel” will bite, unprovoked – owner will definitely want a nail trim.
Again, these are things vets just assume when they see it on the schedule. It doesn’t mean every patient every time and we all certainly go into the exam room with an open mind.
It pays to spay and neutered is tutored.. or whatever
I would say that for the most part, owners these days are much more aware of the benefits of altering their pet’s reproductive abilities, but we still run into the not-so-rare emergencies that come from not having a spayed or neutered pet. There continues to be more research as to when is the best time to have the procedures done, but overwhelmingly, the consensus is that it is safer, healthier, and dare I say, less expensive to go ahead and have that surgery done.
For the bitches: An obvious reason that it is recommended to spay a female and remove those hormones and organs from her body is the prevention of accidental litters of puppies. Despite the fact that nowadays, you can slap a cute breed remix name on a mixed breed puppy and get some attention, overwhelmingly, there are too many homeless pets in the shelters being euthanized every day to take the risk of finding forever homes for new lives. You won’t know until it’s too late whether you’ll have to find homes for just one puppy (which can be hard on the mother as that one puppy tends to be much larger than individual puppies in multiple puppy litters) or 17 puppies. And let’s say you secure homes for all these puppies, don’t pat yourself on the back yet, now these families will need to keep these puppies forever without dropping them off at the shelter when they start chewing up the couch or drywall before you can count yourself responsible. Obviously, I’m not talking about responsible breeders. There are absolutely some wonderfully thoughtful and detail oriented breeders out there trying to improve whatever breed they have chosen through intensive genetic testing and screenings and I salute them.
Other reasons it is healthier to spay your female: You will prevent an emergency, very expensive, very dangerous condition called pyometra – this is a condition where weeks to a few months after her heat cycle, her uterus, having been open to the world when she was in heat with an open cervix and the amount of mucus dogs tend to produce during heat cycles create an optimum environment for bacteria to enter and take over. So, a month or so after they’re in heat, they become lethargic, can become septicemic (systemic infection spread through the blood), sometimes vomit, and can die. They basically have a giant sac of pus sitting in their abdomen that can spread to the blood supply or the uterus can rupture and then fill the entire abdomen with disgusting infectious pus. This happens with enough occurrence that if vets see a female dog coming in for lethargy, vomiting, ADR (ain’t doin’ right) and she’s not spayed, it’s considered a pyometra until proven otherwise. This is a condition that is best dealt with by doing immediate surgery to remove said sack of pus. This surgery, especially in the middle of the night or during the weekend (when bad things tend to happen) may cost anywhere from $600 at your most rural practice to $2500-5000 depending on the severity of her condition when she presents at an emergency clinic. So, not only are you going to easily spend 6-10x what you would have to have a spay done, but now her life is in danger on top of anesthesia risk. There are non-surgical ways to treat (I know some were asking) but those are not at all guaranteed and can prolong your dog’s suffering and possible eventual death.
Lastly, medical complications like mammary cancer is greatly increased with the more heat cycles your dog has been through. Generally speaking, you’re bitch is safest if spayed before her first heat (prevalence of mammary cancer: 0.5%), then safer after her first heat (prevalence: 8%), and least safe after her second heat (prevalence of cancer: 25%)
Other excuses for not spaying:
- “She’s in a fence, she never leaves my yard” – great! As long as that fence cannot be penetrated by a male dog’s organ – because they can and they will.
- “She’s a German Shepard and my male is a Chihuahua, there’s no way they even could” – Sweetie, where there’s a will, there’s a way. They can and they will.
- “I’ve heard it calms her down to have just one litter” – Nopity nope. Not true. It will have a very different and unpredictable effect on every individual – some bitches get more aggressive with puppies. Also, if you start with a crazy/semi-aggressive/insecure mother, you’re more likely to have the puppies inherit/learn that behavior as well.
- “She won’t hunt if we spay her” – Ummm, well, she won’t be hunting for males!! *knee slap*
- “They are brother and sister or mother and son – they wouldn’t do that” – Yes. Yes, they will. They don’t care about human social structure or taboo when their hormones hit.
- “I want my children to witness the miracle of life” – Let me suggest a DVD: PBS Nova’s Life’s Greatest Miracle. You can buy it on Amazon.com for $16.59 – Pop it in the DVD player, I think you can even watch it online. It will save you the risk of an emergency c-section (go ahead and put aside $800-$5000 just in case), the possible loss of life of your dog and her puppies, or the possibility of having orphaned puppies that you have to feed, and stimulate to pee and poop every 2 hours. And then, don’t forget the vaccinations, de-worming, and health examinations ($45-$100 per puppy depending on your area) you will need to get all those puppies before giving them to their new home.
- “She’ll just get fat” – To be fair, obesity is a problem in all of our animals, surgically altered or not. We just like to feed them and forget how little they actually need. You are in complete control of their nutrition, they don’t have to worry about getting depressed and polishing off a bucket of cheese balls and a bottle of wine. You keep your dog at the right weight, not them. I’ve had surgically altered dogs my whole life and none of them have been overweight.
Now for the boy’s side. To be fair, I don’t have nearly as many medically scary side effects of having testicles, but in short, being neutered will prevent unwanted puppies (yes, owner’s of males are also responsible for shelter euthanasias. I’ve heard too many times “well, I don’t have to worry about that because I have a boy”- just because you don’t see the litter born doesn’t mean it wasn’t your fault). Other medical reasons would be benign prostate issues when they’re older, testicular cancer, and preventing other emergencies such as being hit by a car when your dog runs down the road because he smells a female in estrus, dog fight wounds, etc.
Cancer: if you have the organ, it’s open to get cancer. Intact male dogs are more likely to not only have testicular cancer, but also prostate cancer, benign prostate hyperplasia (testosterone causes large prostate that presses on and blocks colon) and perianal (right next to the anus) cancer.
Other “excuses”:
- “He’s my BOY! I wouldn’t do that to him, just like I wouldn’t do it to my best friend” (usually of the male persuasion) – A couple of things bother me about this one. For one, why are you emotionally attached to your dog’s testicles? Your dog isn’t. Your dog has no idea what those things are for and doesn’t care a wink when they’re removed. Second, would you keep your best friend, your “boy” isolated in the house while you go to work? Would you walk them on a leash? Would you let them poop in your backyard? Now, imagine your best friend was also your roommate and had typical male desires that comes with full testosterone load from having testicles. Now, imagine telling your “boy” that he won’t be allowed to be with females ever (because you’re responsible). Again, your dog doesn’t care about his testicles, but if he has them, he will want to do things with them. If he doesn’t have them, he’ll just live in an ignorantly blissful world where he never even knows he’s missing anything.
- “He’ll get fat” – see previous reasoning in the girl section
- “It’s not my responsibility if he gets out and gets a female pregnant” – This is just infuriating for obvious reasons
- “I might stud him out” – good luck with that. He’s no Kentucky Derby winner and the very rare chance someone is actually going to ask to pay you for his services, you’re not likely to get much for it when you weigh all the risks of keeping him intact.
- “I love it when they get those large, disgusting testosterone pumped butt holes” – Said no one ever.
