I’ve noticed a steep increase in a new mindset that is particularly disturbing to me. Despite universal economic hard times here in the US, I still see and hear people who are not suffering as much blaming the ones who need help for their misfortune. Now, to be fair, this has easily been going on way longer than just recently and was mostly race centered, but it has increased as of late. Young people are called lazy and over indulgent, single mothers are called irresponsible, people who chose an education to better themselves and society are called dumb and a waste of resources, people with disabilities are called lazy and drug seekers, people who balance three different jobs and still can’t afford life are told to “just get a better job” – easy peasy.
This trend extends, unfortunately, to people who are seeking refuge from a terrible life/government where people are murdered daily, death is around every corner, children grow up terrified, and housing may or may not be there in the next few days. These people get called criminals, drug dealers, terrorists, and get told to go back to where they came from because we don’t want their kind here.
I have been so greatly disturbed by this mindset as an “outsider” Christian – I believe in everything Jesus taught, but don’t tend to agree with the loud “christians” who only spout the old testament. Growing up just outside the church in a VERY Bible-belty area, I got the impression from friends and acquaintances who were trying to get me to join the church that Jesus was this awesome guy who wanted to help everyone in need and told everyone else that that should be their goal as well. He told everyone to give up all their material goods and follow him and his teachings.
Imagine how I felt when all of these people who attend church every single Sunday and will offer “thoughts and prayers” for situations, argue until they’re blue about the sanctity of the church and church-goers and how only following Jesus will get you into the kingdom of heaven, started spewing hate toward people in need. Was this real life? Had they lost their way? Were they referring to a different Jesus than I was taught about? I got into an existential crisis and started questioning everything. Do I even want to believe in a God if their views are correct? I pondered and thought and talked to Tony, my therapist, my friends, groups on facebook, literally anyone who would listen to me.
Finally, after having a moment of my own where I saw someone suffering and immediately thought “they could try harder” I understood where those people were coming from by having experienced it myself. When you look at someone who is in a worse situation than you are and you’re sitting relatively comfortable and they need so much help, it hurts. It hurts to think they are suffering while you are okay. It hurts to think you probably can’t help them like they need. It’s like survivor’s guilt. “Why was I born into a comfortable life and they are suffering?” And you know what is SO much more comforting than feeling all those feelings?
Blaming the victim.
Yes, if you can convince your brain that this individual or group has somehow wronged in such a way that it makes them “deserve” this hardship, dealing with their suffering is SO much easier to swallow. You just say “Ugh! Pathetic, I would never end up in that situation, this is HIS fault!” then, you can continue about your day without the horrible guilt/sadness. It’s so easy to see their life from your life experiences. “Obviously, if I were presented with their dilemma and I had my current body/mind/family support/education/economic status I would have made a decision that would not have put me in this dire situation”
So, being a mean, heartless Christian is really being a victim of deep set, subliminal self preservation. THEY are victims as well. So, if that’s the case, you should help them, right? You know better than them, and that they are doomed to be mean hateful people because YOU would never be that way with your background/familial beliefs/worldly experience/acquaintances who have brought you up to be loving. Oh, full circle, huh?
Now, if we can figure out HOW to help them see how far they have wandered off the path of the very person they worship… I’m open to suggestions.
