“It’s time to keep going. What lies ahead, I have no way of knowing…” This was the song that came on when I was at my lowest and contemplating driving my jeep off a bridge on the way to an emergency. Tom Petty spoke to me and he was right. It IS time. Where will I go? What will I do? What if it’s not better there? I have no idea, but it’s not working here.
Tony and I have moved all over. We moved from our home town in middle Georgia to Athens, GA for college, then to South Carolina for a job, then to Michigan for a job, and finally to Virginia for our, hopefully, forever home. Everywhere we have been, we have run into people who are not happy where they are. Whether it’s just in their job, or their entire geography. We, having been able to just pick up and move (okay, it was NOT that easy), could not understand why people would subject themselves to misery just because that’s where they were. I guess it’s just like the physics law “an object at rest will stay at rest”. Change is hard.
***Disclaimer*** To be completely fair and honest, I have a few advantages to being able to just get up and walk out of a situation. 1. I am financially stable. I certainly wasn’t always, but I have the privilege of having a loving and willing family to back me if things get hard or bad. 2. I have a mentality that when I decide something, it’s done. I was able to go for one interview in Michigan and find a house in the same 2 days. When I’m done with a relationship, I’m done. When I want to buy something, I drive up to a different town and come home with a new car. Done. 3. My family, though loving and supportive, are scattered throughout the country. I don’t have a home base anymore. And, 4, finally, I have faith that things will work out and that if they don’t, I will just get up and move again and it will eventually all work out. People ARE happy in some jobs. There ARE good bosses. There are good places to live where you can have fun and afford it. You just have to look.
Part I Job woes
I think my number 1 piece of advice for anyone with any job is to make yourself irreplaceable. Don’t just drag your feet and survive the hours doing what needs to be done to get a paycheck, make yourself valuable to the company. Do the jobs no one else there wants to do, take over tasks that don’t have an overseer, go above and beyond to increase efficiency, bring in the costumers, or revenue, basically, make it so that if you left, it would hurt the company in the pocketbook (the only vision most have), and they wouldn’t be able to just hire another body to replace yours.
Now that you have made yourself vital to the company, make them know it. Ask for a raise? Want to make changes in the workplace? Different hours? First, ASK. You know the best way to not get what you want? Don’t ask. Surprise! Your employee isn’t even about to offer you something without your asking. They may give general raises across the board for inflation and such, but they’re not going to just offer you a portion of their money without your pointing out that you do a lot for the company and bring in a lot of money and deserve an increase in pay to keep you there and working as hard as you can. Second, ask while reminding them or pointing out HOW it is you are helping their company. Point out all the ways you’ve made yourself valuable and vital to the workplace then set your requirements. A very helpful person once told me “the ‘company’ doesn’t care about YOUR issues. Rent went up? Putting a child in daycare? Not their problem. You need to make them know why you are valuable to THEM”. If you’re not getting what you want or need, be prepared to go look for other jobs. Don’t stay at a job where you’ve been paid $12/hr for 15 years just because the boss says he “can’t” give you a raise. With your dedication (staying at a place for 15 years) and experience, you can find a better place. Just look.
Part II Life is short!
Yes, I know, cliché. Wait until you read part III. But seriously. Every place Tony and I have lived, we have run into people who are absolutely miserable in their current situation/location. Having been able to just get up and leave makes us wonder why those people just stuck it out. You only live so long. One day, when you’re unable to get around anymore and are stuck where you are and have always been, you may ask yourself, “why didn’t I just try to get out?”. When we lived in Georgia, we heard about how terrible the heat is 9 months of the year, when in Michigan, the cold and cloudiness 9 months of the year, how people hated the snow, etc. Go see the world, or at least the country. Try a completely different climate, environment. I bet there’s a job out there in that state just as much as there is in your own.
You don’t have to commit your life to that area either. Do a 2-5 year plan for yourself. Go live somewhere else, leave your extended family, but know that you will return if it doesn’t work out. Family can travel. This isn’t the days when it took a week to travel across the state in a stage coach. There are airplanes now and good roads and reliable vehicles. I have made a number of cross country drives with three young kids just to see family. It can be done.
***Side note*** Fly or drive? For us, with three small children, if the drive takes as much time or just slightly more than the ENTIRE affair of the airport shenanigans, we will drive and save the money. For instance, driving to Georgia from Michigan took 13 hours. We lived 3 hours from the airport that got the cheapest flights (family of 5, you’re still looking at $1500). So, 3 hours to the airport, have to get there 2 hours before your flight, then the flight is 2 hours or something, then you have to go rent a car, 1-2 hours to de-plane and get to the rental car, then another 2 hour drive from there to destination, all while border collie-ing three rambunctious feral kids around, dealing with the glares from other passengers. You’re looking at an 11 hour day. Or you can just strap everyone down in the car, forget having to herd rabid cats, put on some noise cancelling headphones (just kidding) add an extra 2 hours and save $1500.
Part III You gotta have faith
You have to BELIEVE that it will all work out and that even if it doesn’t, you will be okay. I had no intention of ever moving to Michigan – like, that state never even made it on my peripheral radar of places to even visit – like, EVER. But, I sent my resume to Pol Veterinary Services as an almost favor to a friend who loved the show. I had prayed to God for an answer and the next day, Dr. Pol called me on my way home from visiting family in Colorado. I took it as a sign and had faith it would work out. And it did! Am I still there, no, but I had a great time and being on TV set me up for financial stability that I may have never achieved on my own with a veterinary salary. When I decided I had had enough time with Dr. Pol, I took another leap of faith, Tony and I picked Virginia for it’s geography (not 9 months of stifling heat like Georgia, not 9 months of dark depressing cold like Michigan, mountains and on the coast), scattered my resume around a few clinics in Virginia, booked a family trip to go do all the interviews in a weekend, then landed my current job.
I’m not saying it will be all yellow brick roads and that I was confident and secure in every decision that was presented. I pined and pined for over a year whether or not to leave Dr. Pol asking all my friends and family, who all had different opinions. There were many sleepless nights and stress-induced migraines with trying to plan out massive moves, checking all the boxes, dotting i’s and crossing t’s, etc. But once you trudge through that part (as long as it might take) you get to sit on your proverbial front porch in the mountains, sip coffee as you watch the sunrise and wonder what you were ever so worried about. There are still some boxes that haven’t been checked. We still own three houses. One from Georgia that is currently being rented to own, and the Michigan house never sold either – also being rented to own.
It is HARD to even allow yourself to start to think about the mountain of things that will be affected by your move. Friends, family, jobs, schools, stores (miss you Mejier!!), banks, church, people, activities, clubs, etc. What if I move to a whole new state and I don’t make any friends? What if I don’t like the people there? What if the work situation is worse when I get there? At least at my current workplace I know the horrors and how to deal with them, what if there are new horrors I can’t deal with? I like visiting the mountains, but what if living there makes me feel claustrophobic? What if I get sick of sand living at the beach?
Guess what? If you don’t like it, go back or go somewhere else that you think you’d like to try. At least you’ll know you tried. I was 100% sure I wanted to work in the horse racing industry until I worked there for a few externships and saw it through normal colored glasses and knew it wasn’t for me. If I hadn’t at least tried, I would always think I had missed a great opportunity, maybe even have resented my family for it. But now I know that wasn’t the right path for me.
There are so many what-ifs, but if you don’t try, you’ll never know. You can’t achieve more in life without reaching for more. Don’t just accept your situation and resign yourself to dealing with misery and unhappiness just because you have a few stakes in the ground – or all of them if you’ve never lived or done anything else. I hope this blog pushes at least someone to try something they’ve always wanted. I hope it brings that person pure joy and happiness and makes people realize that you aren’t stuck in your situation, you just have to be willing to make some sacrifices and like George Michael and, later, Korn said “You Gotta have Faith”
Great post and great words, dr Emily.
I was pleasantly surprised when i opened my emails this morning and there you were.. and truer words were never spoken… i am in my seventies now and have lived in 6 of the Canadian provinces. i just never seemed to settle in one place, so would stay there for a while and then move on… now i am in New Brunswick where my 10 year old grandson is… i will remain here to see him grow up as long as i am around, but i would never change any of my decisions to try something new.. its been a while since we heard from you. will be watching for the next time… take care and have a great day.
Love this. ❤️
I am so glad God led you to Pol Vet Service. I thoroughly enjoy watching you on numerous reruns. You have an honest, open way of communicating that appeals to others. Your sense of humor makes me smile and your creative way of addressing issues (broken leg on calf) encourages us to think of a different way of doing something.
Thanks for sharing this. While I am glad you are doing good where you are, I admit that I do miss seeing you on newer episodes of Dr Pol. Keep doing what you are doing and enjoy the time with your family. Be happy in what you are doing and where you are.
I miss you too. The program isn’t the same without you. I hope you find what ever it is you are looking for.
Very well said! Yes you can always move! Home is where the heart ❤ is! Thank you!
So happy that you have your life on track! I miss seeing you on Dr. Pol but you look so happy. God bless you and your beautiful family!
All you said is so true, because if you never take a leap of faith, you never know what possibilities are out there! I have lived in lots of places, first as a child with a bad family life, then as a child in social services, then as an adopted child and then as a navy wife. In all of those situations, I believe that having faith that it would all work out has seen me through it all and given me courage in the face of any adversity! Thank you, Emily for inspiring others!
Emily: As a Mom of triplets (aged 22, all 3 graduating from college in May 🙂) who worked full time while my husband was “Mr. Mom”, I can 100% relate to your recent post! So many worries and what ifs. Life sure has slowed down; good days + bad, mostly good. It didn’t kill me and well, “…you know what they say”.
You are an inspiration to everyone!
Sometimes a young person comes along wiser than her years, that person is you. Thank you for being you!
Emily, just want to say thank you for sharing your life and your beautiful kids. You are truly loved by all of your fans.
Nice article for the “stuck people “ . We moved three times with two boys. Georgia, Louisiana and nowTennessee. Liked and would have stayed but your job will sometimes dictate what’s best for you and your family.
Thanks for the reminder that life can be about trying new things in new places. I am grateful that I have been able to see things through your younger eyes, and remember that we can indeed chart our own courses. May God bless you in all your endeavors.
Emily, just want to say thank you for sharing your life and your beautiful kids. BTW, you are truly loved by all of your fans.
Yes you know there’s an old saying… “Home is where you hang your hat”. I really enjoyed reading your blog and I think you have a beautiful family.
Oh, and I still watch doctor Pol.
Hola. Que bueno leer tu post.
Saludos!
I’m so glad you joined Dr Pol because we got to know you! I was disappointed when you left there but I still try to watch for any updates on you and family life.
You deserve to be happy and I clap that you care enough to keep us in your thoughts as well.
Much love to you and your family. ❤️
Very helpful. I could’ve used this advice earlier in my life. Thank you! You are awesome. God Bless.
Sorry to see that you are moving, but life is an adventure!!
On a personal note, I wish you would return to Dr. Pol, as I always *LOVED* seeing you help animals (and their owners). Of course, I still get to see you in reruns, but always wish you were there on new seasons.
Your thoughts on making yourself indepensable are spot on.
She’s not moving dumb ass .Read the article
Good advice. I always told my children (who are now grown and employed) that wherever they work they needed an “owner’s attitude” which is another way of saying what you’re saying here. Faith (in God) is the wild card that helps us win in any circumstance. Blessings to you and yours.
thought provoking , thank you
So true, but also so difficult. I am transitioning out of a business relationship I have had since 1982. Even though I initiated the transition it still hurts to see another name before a title I have held for 40 years and to learn there have been meetings and conference calls I would have led a few months ago, but to which I wasn’t even invited. Intellectually I know everything is happening as it should, but emotionally . . . that’s a different matter.
Great advice – especially from someone who has lived it! Hope your job in VA is fulfilling. Still miss you on Dr. Pol, but enjoy the reruns. Thanks, Dr. Emily!
You are one inspiring person Dr. Emily. You say it like it is and I do hope that this blog will encourage a few of us to make changes in our life. Thank you from my heart ❤.
Emily – I still love all the reruns with you on Dr. Pol. Clearly you made a name for yourself there. Now you are very close to me. My celebrity dream would be to bring my dog to your clinic! Thank you for sharing this. I’m going to share it with my son.
Be well –
Lori
Your blog doesn’t specifically address it…are you miserable in VA? Not appreciated where you work?
Best of luck for the future.
This was very inspiring!
I have resigned my job of 15 years because I know I deserve better. The owners have no idea how much I bring to their company but are about to find out. I am absolutely giddy for my future. BTW, I’m 60 in July so it is never too late!!
I think since the January 6 riot at the Capitol, most people in the U.S. are very anxious, in a sort of shock, and therefore unhappy. I have been feeling this and there’s nothing wrong with my life, it’s the same as it was two or three years ago, but I feel anxious and sorrowful. Jamie Raskin, a Representative from Maryland, has written a book partly about this…etcetera – there’s a lot of sorrow and shock around. Hope this helps you feel that it’s a larger phenomenon. We still love it when we see you on older episodes of Dr. Pol.
Thank you for those thoughtful words of wisdom …from someone who’s been there, done that, and willing to do it again. It is a reminder that life is what you make it, so if you are not happy then do something about it! Enjoy those babies 👶
I too am in my 70’s and have been lucky enough to visit, live in and see different parts of this beautiful country of ours. I have also visited. Canada and Mexico. I have visited other countries through tv and cable programs. What I have learned is that people everywhere want the same basic things in their lives: a safe home, food to eat and the freedom to explore new places and do different things.
I wish you and your family the best of luck, Dr. Emily, wherever you go and whatever you do! Also hope to hear from you from time to time. Because of TV and Dr. Pol, you have become part of my family and so many others. Take care! Gail
I think it’s wonderful you had the moxy to throw caution to the wind and “go.”
It’s true…most of our fears are “paper tigers.”
Whenever we get soul twitches to move on, we should pay attention. That is our green light to go forward onto greater things. I’ve just recently moved from a home I’d lived 24 yrs. I wrestled with that decision for far too long. I am SO glad I took the leap of faith. I LOVE my new home! And truly…I never looked back!
very inspiring words. love the way you think. I’ve lived withing 50 miles of where i was born all my life. now 66 and retired i doubt I’ll ever move. but the mountains of S.C. have and always will be home.
I worked for years in corporate america until one day:”your job has been discontinued” I was lost. I had turned down a job offer in Mansfield Ohio but i just couldn’t see this hillbilly redneck in Ohio. I’ve traveldfor bussiness to almost every big city in the U.S. and can’t see myself ever being there. The coast? maybe. but at my age and income that would be a big leap of faith. I knwo the job struglles . After looseing my job i ffell back on my machinist upbringing and worked in a mold shop for the last 16 years of my career. the boss was very stingy and begged me to come back part time after I retired. but not being appreciatedwhile I was therewasbig on my mind so I never went back. It’s been over a year and he has yet to find another that could work with worn out machines and very little support. I hope he’s looking back and realising how good it was when I was there. I wish I had read you advice years ago. Who knows where I might have landed. miss you on TV. Good luck wherever you land. I know you’ll shine bright and do great!!luv you!
I can’t agree more. I’ve never understood someone being unhappy in life or work when just moving or changing jobs could be the answer. We also have moved all over the country. I’ve never regretted it. We’ve had fun and met lots of very nice people. Don’t be afraid to make changes.
I can’t imagine the situation you were in that made you so depressed that you wanted to drive off a bridge, but I am glad you fought that impulse, or you wouldn’t be where you are now. Like you said, if you are unhappy, make a change and see what life looks like from a new perspective. It sounds like the mountains of Virginia worked out well for you and your family. I wish you all the best!
What a great post with fabulous advice! I am a Gypsy at heart. I finally found the guy I married and moved to California from Florida on my own…2 cats and U Haul trailer in tow. It’s the longest I have been in one spot in a long time. Blessings to you and the family! ❤❤❤
So glad that you posted about moving on to encourage others to take that life altering step. I’m confused if you were giving your advice because you’ve finally found your happy place and are advertising people to do the same or that you’re going to move once again. Either way I know you always do what’s best for your family. Unlike others Im so glad you’re out of Michigan weather. I always remember your comment about the extreme cold hitting you in the face like a skillet. Who needs that. Hope you are feeling peaceful and happy.
Should we be expecting an announcement? More change for you and yours? Shot across the bow for your current boss? Perhaps starting your own practice would resolve the boss issues. In my experience, the challenge with being your own boss is that it turns out your boss has unreasonable expectations from you, is generally disappointed in your performance and doesn’t buy any of your excuses.
Thank you again for another very wise look at life. Makes me glad for all the risks I’ve taken and am going to take. Finally moving back to my home county to have some sister time while we still can. Take care and keep on going while you can. 😎❤️
It’s so great you found a place you love and a job you love! I have lived in the same area my whole life in the pacific northwest. It is beautiful here but a lot of rainy days in the winter. I don’t do change well but don’t regret staying here. I was close with my parents and family and would have regretted not spending all the time with them that I was able to when they were alive. Now I have 2 grandsons that are my life. Moving somewhere wouldn’t even come close to bringing the joy they do so I will stay put with my daughter and grand babies! Sometimes I wish I were more adventurous, but we are all different, and I don’t feel like I have missed out on anything.
I hope you continue to be happy in Virginia. As others have said, you are missed on the Incredible Dr. Pol show. It seemed as though you always had the most serious cases, and most of them were after hours. Especially enjoyed the episode with Winston. Enjoy your summer.
I cannot wait to see where life takes you and your family next 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
Great thoughts to live by!
Boy, it’s like you read my mind! I have been contemplating making a move for YEARS!
Now I am taking care of my elderly mom and just know that when/if something happens I can go in the free mindset that I was there for her and have no guilty feelings!
Wow…Thank you for sharing this most intimate and personal insight into-you and your family and life. Who would have thought. I guess what we see is not always what is really going on.
From someone contemplating a move, in these uncertain times, this insight is very motivational. Wishing you and your family nothing but pure happiness where you are now. We do miss seeing you..God Bless 🙂
Great post and photos, as always, Dr. Emily. Glad that you and your family are happy with your choices. That said, I still smile when I see reruns from what I call “the Dr. Emily period” on Dr. Pol.
You are so right about knowing when it’s time to move forward. I didn’t have your courage, and now I’m paying for it, having lost a good-paying job that was deprecated by technological advances during a period of 30-plus years. It’s been a frightening wake-up call, but I’m lucky to have a small circle of trusted support people.
Stay save during the hurricane and tornado season!
As the saying goes “Bloom where you’re planted. ” You have done that everywhere you’ve gone. And knew when it was time to move on. Your story is very inspiring.
Sorry to hear that Virginia isn’t working out. Hope you will be led to just the right situation.
Always enjoy hearing from you and Tony.
She said she hopes to live in Virginia forever. I think they are very happy there.
Great post, True statements. I’m 20 yrs younger than my husband (86 yrs old) and have been married 16 years. Only in the last year have I felt stuck because he now has dementia and I cannot leave him alone for more than an hour and have no help. I love him to death do us part.
You are smart beyond your years, lucky too, anyhow, thank you for advice I’ll share with others.
Hi Dr Emily! As a fan of the Dr Pol show I want to say i loved watching you. You were so professional and always so cool. Would you ever consider a guest apperance? Take care and keep sending these posts.
oh Emily, I just lost my husband on Monday!
I really needed” this little light”
thank you,
Please Emily Don`t give up on Life, you are a good person you have a great family . I know your depressed . you got to keep one foot in front of the other . Keep making new Friends . that`s the secret in this lifetime . It`s the simple things in life that will bring you happiness. And take more road trips!! God Bless you. PS We miss you in Michigan
Emily
This is exactly what I needed to hear. I’ve been mulling for a long time what to do in my situation. Thank you for this post. FYI: I really miss you on the show. You were always my favorite. It’s not the same without you. I miss your humor so much.
Thanks again
AB
I am loyal to a fault. This may sometimes help me in life but not all. My loyalty issue has planted me in a place I’ve been for 16 years. In the last 5, I feel stuck or caged. But I know that staying will end up being a good financial decision just not a peaceful one.
At my age, many jobs don’t want to take on my skillset because they say, “over qualified”, “can’t pay what I am worth”, etc.
If I stay, I can retire and work my own hours, do jobs based on what I want, and maybe enjoy a few weekends.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I can see my path a little differently and now appreciate why I decided to stay. God bless you and your family, Emily.
Miss seeing you on Dr. Pol, wish that had worked out for you. Love that we can still follow you and the family on your adventures. Praying that you are able to find your forever home. We love you!
You are such a brilliant and beautiful person. Please take your own advice. Don’t think about driving your jeep off a cliff. I suffered with depression for over 35 years. Finally got the correct medication for myself. The last eight years have been great. PLEASE hang in there until you find your answer. Life will become clear to you. It’s not the difficult journey we all make it out to be. God bless you.
Emily, you kind of remind me of a gypsy. Not happy here, move to there. The world is your oyster my dear! And it’s all open to you! Make a list of what you like as far as climate, geography. People unfortunately are alike everywhere. As far as friends go, I think you will make friends wherever you go! You are a very nice and engaging person. Friends are going to be no problem for you. You’re beautiful, kind and sincere, Funny and smart. Things will happen as they are supposed to. You have a great husband and beautiful children. I’m no one to give advice, so I won’t give any. But I think you’ve already done this in your head and heart. You’ll work it out. I won’t share anything about my life because you don’t need to hear it. Peace be with you and your family, Emily
You are an inspiration to all!! My husband and I love your show !!! Love from Rosebush Michigan!!!!
Emily, missed hearing from you. Love this advice. Thank you for sharing.
Enjoyed reading your advice, thoughts, story…
Enjoyed your post. Your kids are getting so big.
I love living on Long Island, NY. I can’t imagine anywhere else to be.
PS Still love seeing you on TV.
I miss seeing you on newer episodes of Dr. Pol , although I watched you today on an older episode. But most importantly, do what is best for you and your family, because that is what comes first. Praying that God continues to guide your footsteps.
Good words of advice! Thanks for your upfront honesty and transparency!
Great read! Good insights.
Thanks
Usually I like your posts but this one is a load of CRAP!
And yes I expect push back on this.
Part One: You have obviously never worked for a large corporation. Being “irreplaceable” does not bring you bigger raises because most (if not all) corporations cap their employee raises from between 1 & 5 percent (depending on your yearly review).
Asking for something can easily backfire. I was the purchasing supervisor for a large hotel. At one point the 65 hour weeks got to be too much,so I searched the company website for transfer possibilities. Found an opening in my home town & filled out the transfer paper for my boss to sign. He flat out refused to sign saying that he “needed me”. I asked him that since he needed me so much, how about a raise. That didn’t happen either, so I was stuck. After this I had to have several surgeries & even with insurance I had a mountain of “out of pocket expences” to pay for so there went my financial stability.
Part two: Life may be short, but without suffciant financial resources many of us are stuck where we are.
OT: Mountains should make you agoraphobic (fear of
open spaces) not claustrophobic (fear of closed spaces).
Again you say that if it doesn’t work out going back is an option & I say the little hurtle of finances gets in the way.
Finally, the next time you pontificate from your ivory tower, spare a thought for those of us who don’t have a career where they can get a job almost anywhere in the US, or residuals from a hit TV show or own 3 houses, 2 of which provide an income. Those of us who are poor,
have to accept that we are stuck & learn to tolerate the situation no matter how badly we feel. I finally became financialy stable in my early 60s (I’m 66 now). Unfortunately, I’m too old, too tired, & too arthritic to even contemplate moving.
Jeeeeez….
Anywho, like most, I’m also a fan from the show, and miss seeing you there, BUT, I was excited to find this blog.
I’ve truly enjoyed binge reading it since last weekend, when I’ve had the chance. It’s been fun learning about your family.
Should you ever change your mind about KY, we have MEIJER!! I work for a competitor, but I have LOADS of fun there. KY is not a 4 season state, anymore. We have cold, 2 weeks of wonderful, and we have blistering hot. Reading about VA made me jealous. I’m truly happy for you. Life sounds pretty great for you, you just can’t put a price on happiness and life balance.
I hope to read more soon from you.