golden rule - This Little Light

Do you ever wonder “What’s the point?” “Why do I even try?” or think “No good deed goes unpunished”. Well, a big FAT “Ditto!” from me. I appreciate everyone’s patience through my journey and struggle with faith and seeking meaning and understanding. I know everyone seeks a meaning to life, but I, like, NEED it to all make sense. Like a well rounded novel. All the pieces need to fit together perfectly and then there will be an Ah HA! moment. This has not happened yet for me, but I’m slowly combing through theories and ideas to make my little simple brain happy and content (with a warm fuzzy blanket and mug of something warm… and maybe even a kitten).

Well, my latest struggle has been the crushingly daunting task of trying to make the world better. I’m just one person on a planet of 7.753 billion people stretched farther than I’ve ever travelled or even imagined. How am I supposed to convince the world that love and peace is the best option (and, if you’re a Christian, the way Jesus taught) when so many are angry, vengeful, just a hair’s trigger from mentally crushing someone, physically hurting them, or even killing them because you felt a hint of fear from their difference?

Through this thought process, long hours of running, hiking, thinking, I think I’ve convinced myself of this: I may not convince anyone…. that I know of. If I say “I don’t believe in guns” because I’m a pacifist and follower of Jesus and cannot imagine EVER killing someone, I’m gonna piss a LOT of people off. So many THINK they would be fine with killing a person just because they trespassed or even broke into their home, but I don’t think so. I think they would live with the debilitating guilt of judging that person and taking that life without a really good reason. (Break into my house to steal stuff? I will help you pack your car up before I would ever consider harming you – I mean, a call to the police and insurance will be my next step, but not challenging you). So, now I’ve really pissed some of you off. That’s fine. You will load up the comment section about how stupid and naïve I am and how frivolous I am with my kids’ lives. But SOME one, even if they spew hatred toward me for this opinion, just might have a seed planted in their brain and years down the road, may start to edge toward a more peaceful path. Maybe they’ll just shoot the drunk that accidentally wandered into their house in the foot, instead of taking his life (or the drunk son that didn’t announce he was coming home in the middle of he night as happened to my uncle).

**Let make peace the “fabric” of our existence**

So, how do you convince yourself to keep trying? Let’s say you are just doing your best to be patient and show grace to the people who annoy you the most. Whether it’s the people who annoy you or someone bearing witness do your actions, you may just be tapping the first domino that starts a new way of life for that person. Now, you may never see those changes. You may even consider that encounter a failure because nothing ever changed in front of you, but you may never know what affect you had on that person or the people in their lives.

I just have to keep trying and continue to hope beyond hope that if I treat people the way I want to be treated and demonstrate grace, forgiveness, gentle corrections, but also admit to my own weaknesses and relate to people, always being as open as possible, others will take note and try to also be the best they can be, while acknowledging and accepting their own faults. (I think it’s very important to share personal difficulties and weaknesses – it’s super healthy for personal and community mental health).

**Delphi aka Dirty Hippie Kitty and I have a LOT of imperfections**

Now the other side of the coin that I struggle with on this subject is WHY are there people out there who are opposite of me? Why are there people who’s first reaction is to be mad or angry or want to incite revenge? I’ve mentioned the Monet painting in a previous post (we’re all dots of color in the world/universe and some are bright yellow, while others are muddy dark green – but we all work together to make a beautiful picture). I have since come up with another analogy. Some of us are extensor muscles while others are flexors. The joint won’t work if we are all extensors. To balance the world, we need both. But, see, this is when I go back to “why even try?”. And I spiral.

**Painted this on my wall – I just LOVE me some radial symmetry**

I dunno. Be the best you can be in hopes that your color will leach onto others, even if you never see it. You never know how they will treat a stranger down the road because they knew you and reconsidered a way of thinking, even if miniscule. Remember that “Hurt people hurt people”. So, the next time you wonder why someone is so cruel, try to imagine they were scarred sometime in the past and give them some grace. Also remember that misery loves company and try try try not to get sucked down the spiral that is their misery.

**Maybe don’t be as crushingly influential as Maize tries to be #personalspace**

I was inspired by the sermons my preacher was giving over the past 4 weeks and thought maybe I could pass the message along to you guys.

This election season has been tumultuous to say the least. Friends and families have been broken up by what color they have decided to vote. I am guilty of alienating people simply based on how I THINK they will vote and, therefore, judging their entire character and deciding how they feel about everything based on one comment they make. It has gotten ugly. At one point, after hearing the sermons online (cause COVID), I thought about all the people I know that I am friends with in real life, not just electronically – people that I work with everyday or interact with, people who are family members. On one shoulder, I was judging them and thinking “how can they think this way?!” thinking that they were a lost cause and deep down inside, wondering if I should even be associating with them. But on the other, much more obvious shoulder, I was thinking “but I really like this person in EVERY OTHER WAY! Our everyday interactions are always fun, light hearted, and pleasant, they are a hard worker and have never given me flack about doing their job or helping out. I even look forward to being with this person” So, how can two shoulders on the same body be so opposed without needing serious chiropractic intervention?

One metaphor I like to think about when I’m frustrated and confused at how many different beliefs there are and why everyone doesn’t see the world like I do is to picture a Monet painting or think of all the microscopic pixels in a beautiful picture. If all the paint dots or pixels looked just like mine, the picture would just be one flat, solid color (maybe semi-gloss cuz I’m pretty interesting). The world would not work if everyone had the same ideas. Tony and I joke sometimes that if everyone was like him, we would all still be living in caves and hunting/gathering because “it works so why change?” – there would be no inventions or searches for better ways of medicine or technology. We would all die from childbirth or a puncture wound. It takes view points from every angle and dimension to make the picture that is our world. Everyone’s tiny pixel of light adds to the depth and meaning of the world.

So the message that my preacher was talking about was that no matter how we vote, we are all still the same people, the same body of Christ (or humanity if Christianity isn’t your thing). We still have to love each other as we love ourselves. Everyone has their own set of experiences that make them who they are and how they think. The worst way to help someone see a better way is to tell them they’re wrong. Nothing makes people dig in their heels and throw you like being told they are wrong or stupid, or blind, or naïve. We CAN get past how someone else may have voted and still love each other. As the preacher said (though he did a magnificent job of not eluding to which way he was going to vote), after the election is over and everything is settled back down, we still have to love those who we disagree with and maybe try to show them the light.

**View interpreted by no less than 5 perspectives**

Maintaining relationships is the best way to share ideas and change as a person. Cutting someone off just because you have put them into an imaginary box that categorizes everything they believe based on how you want to think about them will never help to coax them into a “better” way (just in case your way is, in fact, better). I feel like there are so many good ideas on both sides, but political parties do not come a la carte. They are like basic cable – you like one channel, but get stuck with all the other crap that comes along with it. We are an intelligent species with a 4D spectrum of life experiences and ideas. How on earth do we only have two (real – sorry third party – love you!!) choices every time? Why can we not pick a group of intelligent, non-bribed people to sit around and have intelligent conversations to figure things out? This is SO frustrating to me!

Here are some suggestions on talking to people or posting on social media to help you grow as a person and help others to see a different perspective:

DO: “I believe that this issue could be handled like this – 2-3 well thought out and *researched* points to follow up for why.”
NOT: “Anyone who thinks this other idea is a good idea is either blind, completely naïve, or just an idiot!!”
DO: “I am honestly confused as to why people would think this is the best way, please, with open ears, I want to hear your thoughts.”
1. Then, read/listen to their thoughts (hopefully not just emotionally spewing rhetoric they heard some lunatic saying).
2. Say thank you.
3. STOP
4. Think about their answers, try to see it from their side, from their experiences, try to imaging what has caused them to feel this way. Is it fear? retaliation for a wrong doing? Lack of understanding of another person’s situation? Fairy tale brain (guilty)? Evil demonic possession?
5. ONLY respond when you have let any emotion wash off of you and have had time to consider their side.
6. TRY TRY TRY to never argue with emotion
NOT: I’m posting this article/headline that I haven’t actually stopped to think/research if there is any validity to the sensational message it is implying because when I first read it, it made me mad and it should you too – and if not, you’re STUPID!!
DO: Think about who all will see/hear this statement before letting it out. You may be thinking of someone in particular when you proclaim a statement, but you are, in fact, addressing everyone who might fit under this large net that you have cast. Think of your sweet Aunt whom you love and would never want to hurt, and how she might feel when she reads your post and wonders why you disapprove of her so.

**If all else fails, just go off the grid**

Pro-tip – if you read something that makes you think “WOW! That’s unbelievable!!” whether good or bad, stop, research a little to find out if it’s true, half true, or just a conspiracy theory manifested by a bored journalist who wasn’t getting much air time.

We are more than the allotted red or blue (or whatever color the third party is), we are every shade in between, specks of this and specks of that and some even have a little glitter added. Depending on our lives, what we’ve experienced and the people we know who have experienced different life events, our view on subject matter will differ extraordinarily and we may just need to stop and think about this before we assume the worst.

Tag: golden rule

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Not Another Political Post