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Ravings of a lunatic part 1

Okay, maybe not a lunatic, but a sleepless, late night, pondering person.

What if…

1a: God is not a particular *person or soul, but a combination of a collective love? Like, they say “God is Love” but what if there is a literal ball of light or fire, or a huge sun that is made up of 100% pure love and our purpose for being put here is to manufacture love – kind of like “The Matrix” but better. We are faced with challenges, (or not) and the amount of love we produce despite set backs fills this ball of light with more and more love until we reach our quota and then heaven is created? Maybe people who live an easy life and create love add small amounts to the ball of light and those in harder situations produce love that is more valuable and worth more to the ball of light? I think, for me, at least, this makes me feel a little better about not being perfect. I may have a bad day and may be irritable and less patient, but that’s okay because I can only add to the love sun when I can.

And then, if you were to commit suicide, all that light you contributed gets snuffed out because all the people you helped or made happy will now be even sadder that your light was tainted.

1b: So, I’ve always struggled with why God couldn’t just make good things happen and why he allows for bad things to happen, but what if He actually cannot have any direct effect on the world? What if He can only inspire us to do things and it’s up to us to listen and do His will or deny Him and have do whatever we want? And if you listen to Him, good things happen for the world and, eventually for you, but if you don’t, things may end up fine or not. So, God is more like a puppet master (Cue “Stranger Things” guitar solo scene).

2: What if… the saliva that mosquitos inject into your skin after they suck your blood that triggers that immune reaction that so awful and itchy is actually there to STOP the bleeding so you don’t die. What if mosquitos actually really love us (or don’t want their host to die) and just want the blood to stop? Okay, maybe not, they also are the biggest killers of humans worldwide because even though they mean us love with their spit, they also are like flying dirty hypodermic needles spreading bloodborne disease.

3. Have you ever thought about how silly many of our disagreements, murders, wars, persecutions really are?? I mean, think about it. The biggest difference between the three main religions in the world is whether or not this guy, Jesus, was the savior. That’s it. One dispute, same God, different prophet/savior. Why, oh WHY does that mean we all have to kill each other? If I think a particular actor did a better job at playing a character in a movie than another actor, does that give me a right to go out and murder an entire community because they believe differently? Or change the politics of people’s lives because they don’t agree with me on cinematic artistry?? I’ve literally heard of churches fighting and splitting over whether an organ was played or a keyboard. It really is completely silly. Please STOP.

Okay, new and crazy ideas to come later.

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More light, less right

I listened to a great and eye opening sermon this Sunday (at home folding laundry). The basic message was that we need to remember to be a light for people – giving them inspiration and making them feel loved – instead of trying to convince them what is technically right (their doing wrong) but meanwhile hurting them. The example he gave was that age-old story of the woman being brought before Jesus to be stoned for adultery. Jesus could have just as easily let her get stoned to death and been technically right according to the old testament, but, instead, he chose grace and shined the light on her.

I know very much that I have been guilty of trying to force people into my interpretation of right – social issues, medical issues, political issues. But what I need to be doing is spreading the light of love. I have struggled so much with dealing with our current atmosphere and trying to decide when to comment on something, knowing I’m not going to change anyone’s opinion, and when to just let it go and try to be that happy person.

I have found that much of my depression and anxiety is linked to what’s going on in the world and why people are being so stubborn as well as all the negative energy and messages people are openly sharing. My friend sent me a meme that basically says that back in the day before internet and social media, we would only occasionally get hit in the face with bad news, but now that we have access to everything all the time, the amount of bad news is just overwhelming and we’re likely not made to deal with that much. I just need to let it all go. If people don’t want to listen to what the experts are saying and self medicating or denying doctor’s recommendations, then there’s no way what I say will matter. It’s like we say in the veterinary world ‘You can’t care more about your patient than they (client) do”

If people want to spew hatred toward things that are harmless but it makes them feel uncomfortable, I can’t change that. I just need to let it go. But, for sure stand up for someone if you know it’s directed to hurt that person. If I think people are sinning and going against Jesus’s teachings, I cannot change them, I cannot make them a project – that’s all for me, all selfish. But, I can show them love even through it and hope that through my love and support they will also see the light and come around to doing good.

I’m 100% guilty of posting things that are not constructive just to prove a point or make fun of someone for their science denial. But I would like to start anew and ask that you do too. Remember ALL the people who will see your message and if you can think of one person it might offend, don’t do it. Let’s also stop making fun of people for being offended and calling each other snowflakes. Literally everyone is offended by something, so making fun of others for being offended by something is only creating more hate and division in the world.

As far as being Christian goes, you may feel the need to make proclamations directly toward someone or in a general statement that individuals are “sinning”, but as Jesus said, “Let the sinless cast the first stone”. We need to show EVERYONE love (except like mass murderers of child abusers, etc) or they will see that we are Christian, only feeling the hate and rejection we are saying our God will show and that just makes them turn away from the light. You can’t save someone whom you have already rejected as wrong. We are all sinners, but God loves us all.

Sometimes I blur the line when I comment on something to give a different light or to politely correct misinformation, but it’s gotten harder and harder with people being anti-evidence based medicine. I try sometimes to stop the anger and fear before it gets out of hand. I really wish people would exercise their brakes more than their gas pedal. In other words, if you see something that seems offensive, makes you angry, get riled up, etc, STOP. Question the information, do a quick internet search for unbiased information (though I understand that is really hard), think about what is being claimed. Does that make sense? Is there an important part of the story that’s being omitted? Don’t just take the information from a meme and run with it, causing inflammatory reactions and a domino effect of false information. False information can be like juicy gossip that is fun to share and get others riled up like you, but it’s not the Christian thing to do.

One example of this out of control freaking out: My friend is running for school board and when she went out to talk to people about what they want to see, she met one person who said she heard the schools were going to be replacing Math with critical race theory. My first reaction was to laugh super hard. This information makes no sense, is completely preposterous, and perpetuates the fear and hatred that people suck up like a dry sponge. Just stop, think, criticize, ask God, then move on. If you don’t 100% know it’s true, don’t spread it. Be the light. Lead others out of the dark areas of their brain to analyze and be with God and His light.

There’s plenty of toxicity in the world without spreading lies and hurtful things that will just cause more fear and hatred. Let’s be better, let’s be the light. What ever religion or nonreligion you are, this can be achieved just by being a good and thoughtful person. Love others and forgive others like you would yourself. Give them the benefit of the doubt and if they’re no hurting anyone, let it go. Don’t be a bully. BE. THE. LIGHT.

Love you all, sorry for the rambling post. I’m just 24 hours out of anesthesia and a tad loopy. (had laparoscopic diagnostics done looking for endometriosis and all they found was endosalpingiosis – no clue what that means, but it’s nice to not be in constant pain as long as my post surgery drugs last)