Yesterday, I had a hard day. I had an emergency animal come in on death’s door from possible trauma, thought I could save him, but after an hour of fluids, meds to bring down brain swelling, warming bair huggers, oxygen, and all the meds to keep his heart going when he stopped breathing on his own, we had to finally throw in the towel. Calling and giving the owner that news was heart wrenching to say the least. Later that day, another patient came in for what I thought would be a pretty simple, but long term treatment plan for a young animal with chronic issues. The owner, understandably, after having pours thousands of dollars into a very young animal without ending the suffering, was already ready to throw in the towel. I knew it was the right answer, but it just felt like I was murdering this beautiful baby soul. I know what my job is and the practicality and humanity of stopping the fight, but it was still, literally, gut wrenching to push that pink fluid into that sweet, loving animal’s vein, even while those eyes trusted me not to hurt her, I stopped her heart.
I’m the worst when it comes to looking on the bright side – when it comes to myself. I’m fantastic at trying to get others to see the light in things and keeping humor interjected in almost every situation to keep others out of the black hole that is my mentality sometimes. I’m cynical, I’m doubtful, I lose faith in the existence of God on a regular basis, I lose faith in people (just read the news, like, ever), I lose faith in myself and wonder if anyone who really knows me actually loves me, I have bad days, bad weeks, etc. (If I haven’t posted in a while, I’m probably in a dark place) How have I even survived this long? Well, medication, therapy, and trying to think of things in a MUCH broader view.
Stay away from the news! Any news about the nation or world. You can’t change any of it, you literally just read it and get paranoid, angry, sad, or otherwise negatively emotional. I used to (and still slip into it every now and then) go looking for news that would make me says “OMG! I can’t believe that!” or look for something to talk with someone else about “did you see where.. ” or “can you believe what *** did??”. It’s addicting – somehow reading something that makes you feel an emotion – there has to be a hormone similar to dopamine that is released when you read stuff like that. I still find myself falling into rabbit holes, but if I can stay away from the news, I can typically control my emotions better because, guess what! —> see next point
The people around you and in your community are generally good people. We may all have very different opinions about subjects and topics, but for the most part, most of the people around you are courteous, polite, and trying to do the best that they can. Remember, all the crazies that make you crazy on the internet or social media are the loud ones. The majority of people who are normal, reasonably balanced human beings are not out there touting far one-sided crap. I truly believe that there are enough (probably plenty) of intelligent, wise, level-headed humans in this country who could actually take the issues (social and economic) and come to a reasonable conclusion. If you talk to a *rational* person about politics, you may find that y’all can agree on a lot when solutions are trying to be found. But the whole “my team says this, so you’re stupid” thing will never work. We all have more in common and can agree on WAY more than the news, social media, or your crazy polar friends will let on.
At the end of the day, most everything will be the same. Horrible clients? A dog that tried to die on the table? A horribly complicated case that had you dragging your eyeballs over the gravel while jumping through fiery hoops? When I get home, my kids will be energetic, they will be safe, my dog will greet me like she hasn’t seen me in a year, my cats will greet me like they literally saw me two seconds ago, and after the kids go to bed, I will sit down and have a cup of cheese balls and maybe a glass of wine sitting on my couch watching the next episode on Netflix with Tony. That is pretty much a constant and when I’m stuck smack dab in the middle of the weeds wishing whatever horribly stressful event to be over with, I will stop, go into my mind and imagine sipping that glass of wine thinking about how all of those stressors are behind me. When I can picture myself being done with the stress, I can calm down and muggle through it.
Exercise is always good – you can’t worry about piddly little things when you’re gasping for air!
Find a friend or therapist. Believe it or not, voicing your concerns and even crazy paranoias can release them. Sometimes you just need someone to listen (not necessarily give advice – guys) and tell you you’re not crazy (unless you are – then they may call the police =D) and sympathize with you. Sometimes, even though it’s super hard, actually talking about your issues with the person who is bothering you (esp if family or close friends) clears the air and you both find out you were worried about completely different things.
Try seeing the positives in whatever situation you’re in. Horrible client, but super cute dog? Focus on the fluffy fur. Can’t figure out a case and have never seen anything like this to even know where to start? Try to think “even though this is super painful and stressful and I want to crawl in a corner, after it’s all said and done, I will have learned something new and can apply it next time” – hard times lead to broader knowledge.
Stressful days suck, sometimes they pile up for a bad week or month, but if you can stay strong and keep yourself as an example to others, then the general atmosphere of your workplace, home, community will have a brighter outlook. And when you make others brighter, you will feel brighter and will have a more solid ground to keep yourself going. Everything will pass, eventually. As my favorite quote says “Do your best and leave the rest, for it will all come right one day or night” – Black Beauty, Anna Sewell.