I’ve been lied to by everyone. I deal with lies on a multiple-times-a-day basis (clients, kids, family, friends, media sources) Sometimes big lies. Sometimes not. But it occurred to me that I’ve gotten to the point where I can’t say that I BELIEVE anyone, but have to, instead decide whether or not to accept what they are telling me as truth (and even then, with a stink eye).
I think that taking EVERYTHING with a grain of salt is both tragic and helpful. Yes, I have been lied to and heart broken by the people I trust most, but, also I will in depth look into something that is being flagrantly claimed. Gossip at work about one of my co-workers? I’ll question the person telling me and offer another viewpoint that doesn’t villainize that person. Shocking political claims? Just hold on a minute and let’s consider if that even makes sense. (I mean, come on, Democrats can’t get it together to agree on, let alone act on anything in unison, but somehow they’re these deep underground conspiracies that they’re controlling your life??)
Now, some of this also comes from training I received in college (even undergrad). I had an entire course that took scenarios and gave us different perspectives to teach us that the data presented to us sometimes is not the way it should be interpreted. For instance: One example I so clearly remember was the headline “Eating McDonald’s linked to poor grades in school children”. Off the bat, it makes you think that the nutritional quality of fast food is causing some sort of brain deficiency. But, like many of us learn on day 1 of science – you have to separate and isolate out the variables in order to make that the sole conclusion. In this case, you could also look at the socioeconomic factors. Children who are fed fast food are more likely lower in the socioeconomic group, meaning their parents can’t afford better foods or don’t have time to go shopping and cook and are, therefore, less likely to have time to dedicate to studies. Unless you take the exact same children, treat them the exact same way, but feed them fast food for a month and then healthy food for a month and compare scores, and factor out ANY other variables that came into play that month, you CANNOT get a conclusion from this.
Next time you hear “Research shows X is correlated with Y” don’t just accept that. This is something we learned in college (believe it or not, it wasn’t just “how to be a snowflake leftist”) – how to critically review information and decide if it’s relevant. For instance, in veterinary medicine, I’m faced with clients who say they’ve heard that vaccines/heartworm preventatives/corn/nail trims (hahaha! JK! never nail trims) are causing cancer in animals. Their proof? More dogs and cats are dying from cancer than when they were kids. My retort? “Well, animals are also living longer than they did when I was a kid. They’re not dying of parvo, distemper, parasites, heartworms, etc. So, you live longer, you’re more likely to get cancer”. Or, headline: “Birth control linked to more anxiety and depression” – truth: probably the vast majority of women of reproducing age are on some form of birth control. ALSO, mental issues in general are getting diagnosed more frequently both as we come to understand what they mean, and as we start to accept the need for help more openly. There’s probably a million other variables in this, but taking something that the majority of the population is involved with and then linking it to ANYTHING that is happening more, you could draw the same conclusions, but doesn’t make it a causation.
So, that’s my rant on “correlation does not equal causation” there’s normally 100 variables that could be involved, which it why it is so hard to study anything – trying to exclude all but one variable to test. Another thing I wanted to talk about is what it says about us when we decide to accept a truth. Again, there is no truth (okay, there is, but what do we know?), only what we accept as truth. Therefore, what does it say about us to automatically accept the most horrific version of things – especially without any evidence? I have friends and family who still think there’s “deep state” conspiracies and “widespread election fraud” despite not a shred of evidence. What does that say that these people are in such a need for their truth to be “the truth” that they will start fights and keep hate in their hearts over something that has no backing? Or if you hear a nasty rumor about a co-worker’s past and instead of doing some VERY careful digging or ignoring it, you just accept it and continue to spread that rumor? Maybe it’s true, but what good does it do to tell everyone and have them all look at that person in a completely different light when it doesn’t do anyone any good?
And for those who will, inevitably, reply “Jesus is the truth”, you are 100% right. If we could all act more like and follow Jesus, I DO think we would find so much more happiness and peace with each other. If we follow his example to love everyone, not judge them (so you think they’re sinning? So are you. Just love them, it’s what Jesus said), show empathy, help those in need, welcome those who are persecuted, and show love and inclusion… could you even imagine a world where we truly all followed Jesus’s teaching instead of just yelled at each other about what we should and shouldn’t be doing because #sin. When you see someone who is having a hard time, it’s so easy to say “well, they made poor decisions, I made good ones, so this is all their fault” because it’s hard to say “it’s possible I’ve had better luck than them, had better opportunities, education, socialization.” or “I know I’ve made bad decisions in my life and have been lucky to get out of them”. The truth you choose to accept says a lot about the person you are.
Let’s try to live in a world where we all lift each other up. Someone is a better dresser than you? Tell them, lift them up. Someone is smarter than you? Let it go, celebrate the contributions they could be making to the world if they are celebrated and supported vs having to defend themselves or hide from shame. If we all just gave each other a pat on the back when we are doing “us” as long as it’s not hurting anyone, we could ALL be so much happier and loving and live closer to a paradise. My truth is the possibility of what we could be if we actually looked inside ourselves and loved like Jesus told us to.
