Your Truth or Mine?

I’ve been lied to by everyone. I deal with lies on a multiple-times-a-day basis (clients, kids, family, friends, media sources) Sometimes big lies. Sometimes not. But it occurred to me that I’ve gotten to the point where I can’t say that I BELIEVE anyone, but have to, instead decide whether or not to accept what they are telling me as truth (and even then, with a stink eye).

This is my “oh, really?” face.

I think that taking EVERYTHING with a grain of salt is both tragic and helpful. Yes, I have been lied to and heart broken by the people I trust most, but, also I will in depth look into something that is being flagrantly claimed. Gossip at work about one of my co-workers? I’ll question the person telling me and offer another viewpoint that doesn’t villainize that person. Shocking political claims? Just hold on a minute and let’s consider if that even makes sense. (I mean, come on, Democrats can’t get it together to agree on, let alone act on anything in unison, but somehow they’re these deep underground conspiracies that they’re controlling your life??)

Funny face. Also how you look when you spout conspiracies

Now, some of this also comes from training I received in college (even undergrad). I had an entire course that took scenarios and gave us different perspectives to teach us that the data presented to us sometimes is not the way it should be interpreted. For instance: One example I so clearly remember was the headline “Eating McDonald’s linked to poor grades in school children”. Off the bat, it makes you think that the nutritional quality of fast food is causing some sort of brain deficiency. But, like many of us learn on day 1 of science – you have to separate and isolate out the variables in order to make that the sole conclusion. In this case, you could also look at the socioeconomic factors. Children who are fed fast food are more likely lower in the socioeconomic group, meaning their parents can’t afford better foods or don’t have time to go shopping and cook and are, therefore, less likely to have time to dedicate to studies. Unless you take the exact same children, treat them the exact same way, but feed them fast food for a month and then healthy food for a month and compare scores, and factor out ANY other variables that came into play that month, you CANNOT get a conclusion from this.

Two full sisters, all variables controlled, totally different personalities because sometimes #science

Next time you hear “Research shows X is correlated with Y” don’t just accept that. This is something we learned in college (believe it or not, it wasn’t just “how to be a snowflake leftist”) – how to critically review information and decide if it’s relevant. For instance, in veterinary medicine, I’m faced with clients who say they’ve heard that vaccines/heartworm preventatives/corn/nail trims (hahaha! JK! never nail trims) are causing cancer in animals. Their proof? More dogs and cats are dying from cancer than when they were kids. My retort? “Well, animals are also living longer than they did when I was a kid. They’re not dying of parvo, distemper, parasites, heartworms, etc. So, you live longer, you’re more likely to get cancer”. Or, headline: “Birth control linked to more anxiety and depression” – truth: probably the vast majority of women of reproducing age are on some form of birth control. ALSO, mental issues in general are getting diagnosed more frequently both as we come to understand what they mean, and as we start to accept the need for help more openly. There’s probably a million other variables in this, but taking something that the majority of the population is involved with and then linking it to ANYTHING that is happening more, you could draw the same conclusions, but doesn’t make it a causation.

Because IT WILL KILL you. This is how information can be presented and mean something totally different.

So, that’s my rant on “correlation does not equal causation” there’s normally 100 variables that could be involved, which it why it is so hard to study anything – trying to exclude all but one variable to test. Another thing I wanted to talk about is what it says about us when we decide to accept a truth. Again, there is no truth (okay, there is, but what do we know?), only what we accept as truth. Therefore, what does it say about us to automatically accept the most horrific version of things – especially without any evidence? I have friends and family who still think there’s “deep state” conspiracies and “widespread election fraud” despite not a shred of evidence. What does that say that these people are in such a need for their truth to be “the truth” that they will start fights and keep hate in their hearts over something that has no backing? Or if you hear a nasty rumor about a co-worker’s past and instead of doing some VERY careful digging or ignoring it, you just accept it and continue to spread that rumor? Maybe it’s true, but what good does it do to tell everyone and have them all look at that person in a completely different light when it doesn’t do anyone any good?

Just because two things are happening at the same time doesn’t mean they are AT ALL related

And for those who will, inevitably, reply “Jesus is the truth”, you are 100% right. If we could all act more like and follow Jesus, I DO think we would find so much more happiness and peace with each other. If we follow his example to love everyone, not judge them (so you think they’re sinning? So are you. Just love them, it’s what Jesus said), show empathy, help those in need, welcome those who are persecuted, and show love and inclusion… could you even imagine a world where we truly all followed Jesus’s teaching instead of just yelled at each other about what we should and shouldn’t be doing because #sin. When you see someone who is having a hard time, it’s so easy to say “well, they made poor decisions, I made good ones, so this is all their fault” because it’s hard to say “it’s possible I’ve had better luck than them, had better opportunities, education, socialization.” or “I know I’ve made bad decisions in my life and have been lucky to get out of them”. The truth you choose to accept says a lot about the person you are.

Let’s try to live in a world where we all lift each other up. Someone is a better dresser than you? Tell them, lift them up. Someone is smarter than you? Let it go, celebrate the contributions they could be making to the world if they are celebrated and supported vs having to defend themselves or hide from shame. If we all just gave each other a pat on the back when we are doing “us” as long as it’s not hurting anyone, we could ALL be so much happier and loving and live closer to a paradise. My truth is the possibility of what we could be if we actually looked inside ourselves and loved like Jesus told us to.

Painting I did for my grandmother after her son/my youngest uncle Rick died.

44 Replies to “Your Truth or Mine?”

  1. 100% agree. I have a tendency to be judgmental and hate that about myself and working on it and praying about it. God created all of us and loves all of us equally. You’re right, we all sin. I can’t even imagine what the world would be like if we all put others before ourselves and only looked for the good in people and lifted them up. I think we might have to wait for heaven to see that kind of world, but we could all do better in this world too.

  2. Gosh, Dr Emily you always write from the heart.
    It’s hard to descern lies from truth but inevitably the truth comes out. Perhaps we’ll be lucky that we shared that opinion.
    It’s hard when others do not agree with you and even ostracize you because of it. (sigh, even family)
    I admire your ability to speak out. If you want to stand out in the crowd, you have to be prepared for someone throwing tomatoes at you. There’s no escaping criticism but the rewards from the many can be rewarding.
    Take care of yourself, your family and your pets.
    love…..

  3. Dr. Emily,
    You speak the truth! You also have a sweet heart. God bless you and your family!
    Fred Williams
    Snellville, GA

  4. Wish you hadn’t gone the political route. I agree too many people lie at the drop of a hat. I don’t believe politics has any bearing here as the other party has a lot of things to be ashamed about. I wish you well

  5. Nice perspective. You have the usual right amoumt of sass. Your brain is maturing and you are growing out of the lefty streak.
    There is overwhelmimg proof of election fraud, by the way. Your denying just reinforces a narrative of propaganda.
    Love you and your family. Be well.

  6. You are so insightful! Enjoy you sharing yourself with others.

    Ps. Love the painting!

  7. Thanks for the very wise woods. James 2:15-16 If a brother or sister is without clothing and lacks food for each day, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace and keep warn and feed yourselves,” but he does not give them the necessities for the body, what good does that do? Again thanks for all you do, and love your art work. Blessings

  8. Truth!
    Love your hair!
    Beautiful painting!
    Jesus is Lord!
    God bless you for sharing😇😍

  9. Wonderful logic. Note of only others could/would attempt analysis and not believe hearsay and more.

  10. Your painting is beautiful – and your hair is lovely!!

    I had two standard poodles years ago – Bubba and Helen. They were great dogs.

  11. Correlation does NOT equal causation. I can’t even begin to tell you how often I say (and think) that. It’s a simple concept that’s taught in any beginner stats class or psyc class that soooo many people just don’t get. I appreciate you pointing it out because hopefully that will allow a few more people to understand what it means and evaluate statements/concepts without taking everything at face value. Also, your hair is super cute. 🙂

  12. I respect someone who speaks from their heart. At least I understand (not know because I’m not in their shoes) how they feel. I work on keeping an open mind everyday. I work on doing good & being a good person daily. It’s only thru God that I can accomplish this. Without Him I am nothing. Thank you Dr Emily for reminding me of Jesus’ love & just how good it is to love those around us. ❤️

  13. Agree, 100% about this. Love your thoughts and pictures, every time, even when I don’t reach that 100% of agreement. Thanks for sharing whatever you are thinking.

  14. You unpacked a lot of things and I guess one common denominator is trust. Human beings are complicated Animals,. I think it’s Rare to find a couple that speaks truthfully 100% of the time. Human beings are born to lie. When an infant cries that baby tends to want something. If not it’s bottle, it might want to be held because it is afraid of being alone. It can’t talk, but if it cry’s, it also will get something from the mother or father. It learns how to control and manipulate, this is carried into adulthood,. As they age, they become more cleaver at their skillfulness in lying. Mind you not all people are that deviant, but they know how to sugar coat words. Animals, like dogs are good at that also. They will bark or whine for something. for instance, when they are left alone by themselves in an empty house. Some cleaver dogs will fake an illnesses, so that it’s master might take them to a vet. Honestly is still the best policy, and that should be a method to come clean when you confront some people.

  15. Brilliant as always, Dr. Emily.

    To be clear, I won’t comment on anything religious or spiritual because, well, I just don’t go there. But everything else is totally relatable for me, especially the “Oh, really?” stuff.

    Peace to you and yours. ☮️

  16. I totally agree. We used to b able to have conversations with each other — even if discussing diff viewpts! (GASP!) Now we are sooo quick to cut off communication just *because* certain people don’t agree with us. Forget having discussions.

    When Jesus came up against ppl who hated him for speaking truth., He didn’t cut them off. He loved them just like everyone else.

    If ppl were sick, poor, hungry, scared, etc, Jesus didn’t say “Too bad, they deserve all that ” He tried to help them. No one seems to want to help anyone now unless that person agrees with what the one person thinks.

    We have all lost our way…

  17. I agree with you wholeheartedly to loving all and accepting everyone. The only thing we all need is to be more like Jesus. It’s hard but worth it.

    On another note, I choose not to believe any media ever, regarding politics, social issues, conspiracies etc. I don’t watch news anymore and I’m feeling so much better about the world we live in.

    You seem like you’ve blossomed and are so much happier since I watched you on Dr. Pol. You were the best part of it at the time. Anyway, Stay happy and well Emily. Keep on keeping on with the wonderful life you are making with your family. 🥰

    Regards,
    Cheryl Cole

  18. Either something has happened to the color of your hair, or the rendering color on your camera phone.

  19. I agree with most of it. The only thing I do not, is the religious part. I am Dutch and grew up with evolution and science. All religions have their historical background, but all the invented wonders around it are farytails. Also the “laws” one has to abide by are made by people who want to control other people. People need to know that not everything they read and/or hear is true. Some are so immensely brainwashed, I don”t know how they can live that way.
    Animals on the other hand are always truthful, they don’t judge and they deserve our kindness and help. You have chosen the best profession in the world and I salute you. Keep on doing this great work.

    1. There are way too many things proven true in the Bible to be called “fairytales.” This world did not explode into being what it is. All a person has to do really is look at creation, how the world and nature works so perfectly together and the human body. To me it is so obvious that this was designed. Jesus telling people to love others and be kind to others is not controlling. That’s really all he asked people to do; to believe in him and treat people well and fair. People added all of the other stuff. That’s my belief anyway.

  20. Right on Emily. I miss you on doctor pol. I wish you could of stayed. But is a life-force to happiness.

  21. Emily, Thank you for your insight . It is often so easy to get caught up in “stuff” we hear and take it as the truth. I am guilty of sometimes saying things that I do not know have any basis in truth. You are right about striving to be more like Jesus the world would be a kinder place. Also, I LOVE your hair and your painting!

  22. Thank you Emily. I enjoy your blogs and that you are a caring person. Please continue to share your insights, and your humor. oh, and BTW, that is a very nice picture of you (no lie!)

  23. Emily, I like you . your very intelligent ,but I think you have A way`s to go , as to learning about life. There`s good and Bad in every thing , I encourage you to learn (research) political party `s, Dig deep and I think you will be upset when you get to the fact`s. I think it would change your life . Please prove me wrong. ATB .

  24. Emily, you are 100% right!

    Of course there are other men who basically taught the same as Jesus, but I’m sure you know that also (other than Jesus’s followers— other religions).

    I love love love your hair!!!!

    Keep up your good works!

    1. Even though many religions seem to be the same on the surface, the closer one gets to the central teachings the more apparent the differences become. It is totally incorrect to say that all religions are the same. There is ample evidence to show the New Testament is a reliable historical document.

      1. In the end, as long as we are all treating each other respectfully and with love, exactly who is right or was first doesn’t really matter. There’s no point in arguing. Just love.

  25. U R A GONER U SAY DEMOCRATS CANT GET IT TGETHER S U GO AHEAD AND BELEVE TRUMPS LIES AND THE FACT THATU WILL NEVER RETIRE BCAUSE REPUBLICANS WLL SHIT CAN SOCIAL SECURITY SO LONG

    1. Oh, honey, no. I would never believe anything trump says. But I’m also disappointed in my own party (democrats) it’s okay to feel conflicted.

  26. You do know that Warren Buffet on maybe 60 minutes? Stated he has a McDonalds egg McMuffin every day for breakfast.

  27. I agree, if I just say something different then the people around me I am wrong! When I can show I am right.

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