The weird, complicated process that is ending suffering and why it’s NOT the worst part of my job.
***Since euthanasia can be a really sad subject, the pictures in this blog are animals who were saved from euthanasia***
I was going on my usual neighborhood run with the dogs and was coming up on a neighbor’s house who had a dog that I had treated recently. In my tired, oxygen deprived brain, I was thinking – like I had been for the past several weeks – “I wonder how Axle is doing? I should call them.” Then, I remembered with a sinking sensation: “Axle is gone, stupid, you euthanized him last week.” Then, of course, I spent the last agonizing miles going through all of his labs and imaging in my brain trying to figure out what had been wrong with him and if I had missed anything or if I could have done better somehow. This all got me to thinking though about the oddity that is euthanasia and all the weird components that go into it.
The most common assumption about my job that I get is that euthanasias must be the hardest part of the job. For ME, for the vast majority of the cases, euthanasias are (and you’re going to hate me for this) actually one of the easier parts of the job. You don’t have to figure anything out, I have a set way I do it EVERY time, and the only challenge is hitting a vein – which I’ve gotten pretty good at. So, between the 19 year old cat that weighs 3lbs here for euthanasia or the 8 year old english bulldog with all the skin, ear, and eye problems and the owner who refuses to keep up on treatment and wanted to know why you couldn’t just give them antibiotics every 2 weeks? I’ll take that euthanasia, thank you.
So, what’s wrong with me? Am I souless? Do I not care about the love and devotion people have put into their life time companion? Why do I not break down crying and sobbing with the owners every time I have to stop an animal’s heart with an injection and wonder if, when I die I will be punished or not? So, hear me out.
- The vast majority of euthanasias are a good thing. Animals who have reached their limits of life’s comfort and are mostly miserable everyday. Pets and friends who no longer want to get out of bed, can’t keep food down, get confused about where they are, are becoming skeletal despite a good appetite, have a mass that is taking over their body or has ruptured and is bleeding out. Basically, giving these pets the gift of taking away their pain is almost relieving. It is difficult for the client because they are struggling with the decision to euthanize – something we don’t have to deal with (though would like to) in the human world – and are losing their best friend. But, as an outsider, looking in, all I see is a pet that has run out of options for seeking comfort and I’m just sparing them the agonizing wait of slowly withering into nothing, starving to death, bed sores, fear and anxiety as they slowly suffocate from heart failure, daily pain that prevents them from any normal functions.
- Vets, especially the ones who have been practicing awhile, have established deep, dark pits of space where they take hard emotions and bury them down deep. We get all the emotions thrown at us on a daily basis – happy, sad, stress, guilt, anger, frustration, irritation, self loathing, client loathing, patient loathing, public loathing, loathing (generic), annoyance, etc, etc, and if we actually take the time out of our day to process these emotions, we would never get all the patients seen that we are required to see (not to mention the ones that get shoved in when there is no time and the ones we have to send away that hate us and write terrible things about us). Therefore, to survive as a professional and a human, who then has to have functioning relationships with real people away from work, we have gotten super good at flaring with that emotion and then shoving it down into our deep dark caves of oblivion. When you’ve dealt with all that in a day and then you have to euthanize something. This is straightforward. And….
- We euthanize animals ALL THE TIME. All day, everyday, with extra ones being added right before holidays for some reason. Eventually, a thick callous is formed and it just becomes another task in our day. If we’ve been working with a patient for a long time, if the need for euthanasia is sudden and traumatic, sure, it’s way harder on us emotionally, we’re not monsters.
- If we feel that a euthanasia is NOT warranted, we will talk to the owner and try to convince them that maybe this is a treatable or completely fabricated illness (I had one cat euthanasia on a 4 yo cat who was just prancing around the euth room, purring, rubbing my hands and the complaint was she hadn’t pooped in 4 months. I finally convinced them that if that were the case, she would be dead and that she was very likely pooping in a place they haven’t found). I have stopped euthanasia on animals that were being put down for being “miserably itchy all the time” and had no hair. Turns out, they just needed flea medication. Sometimes, medications haven’t been tried and even chronic diseased patients can get several more months of relief with the introduction of these meds. Sometimes, the owner is just not equipped to care for the patient and another owner can afford and dedicate the time to give the animal a great quality of life. But, I’ll tell you what, broaching the topic is somewhat a delicate thing as the owner has likely already been stewing over this decision and introducing even a tinge of doubt can be traumatic for the owner especially if it comes down to a money issue. At the same time, we can’t afford to rescue every animal ourselves and the animal has to be pretty “sellable” (super sweet, not a sketch ball, not super complicated) to convince other people to adopt (as bad as that sounds.)
- Finally, yes, euthanasias affect us. We are not monsters. I can walk into a room, connect with the owners and feel their sadness, feel their depression and their guilt. I make it my priority (after confirming that the animal needs to be euthanized) to make the owner not feel guilt or regret. I talk to them and console and re and reaffirm that this IS the BEST decision they could be making and that it is the RIGHT decision. My job is to the client at this point and once they have rightfully decided to end a patient’s suffering, they need to know that a professional in this field 100% agrees with them. But the WORST euthanasias, by far, besides the obvious when you have worked with a patient for a long time and know the animal and the owner and their full life story, is when there is either an old man, a hardened Clint Eastwood type man, or children in the room. I have a very hard time when that old, withered man who looks like he hasn’t cried since he was a toddler and is ashamed of even that time, has big fat tears welling up and he doesn’t want you to see him. It’s okay, you can cry, I won’t tell anyone. Or children when they seemingly understand what’s going on and then once I say the patient has passed then they get a wild, panicked look in their eyes and ask “You mean he’s DEAD!?!” and then burst into tears or screaming.
Euthanasia is easily the saddest part of the human/animal bond. Whether it’s saying goodbye to a best friend you’ve had since you were a child, or the only thing left you have to link you to your husband who died last year, or even in an unexpected emergency, it’s never any easier, but it is also a sense of relief. Our job as veterinarians is to make sure you make the best decision for the animal and make sure you feel okay with it. When it’s clear cut, nothing could be easier for me than to decide to end the suffering of the animal and to be it’s advocate when the owner’s mind and heart are understandably muddled with emotion.
That all being said, it still sucks.
You’re not only a good doctor, Dr. Emily, but you’re a good person. Bless you for looking after those who can’t ask for help/relief.
Thanks for this. I am a senior cat magnet and my most common uncertainty is wondering if I waited too long. My rule of thumb is that cats like to be cats, and when they can’t be cats anymore, then it’s up to me to make the hard decision. Currently I have a wonderful old boy and my heart stops every time he acts a little off. My last little girl was a sweet thing who got a couple of extra good weeks with fluids and vitamin shots, but then didn’t perk up finally. I miss her still.
I have always felt that the most significant advantage we have over “human” doctors is that we can end their suffering. We can stop cancer and the agony of watching a family grieving as they watch their pet suffering horrible pain and writhing on the table after being hit by a car. I believe we will see our pets again. I believe that the Creator has given every living thing a part of Her spirit. I remember the older widower who would bring in their small dog and would spend the whole visit complaining about “the wife’s dog” and how he hated……until…. his wife died and a year later he is bawling after finding out his pet had cancer too far gone to save. The worst was needing to put a Seeing Eye dog to sleep. You knew if the owner was older that you were not only ending that amazing dog’s life but also the owner’s. They don’t give dogs to the elderly, so they lose maybe the only friend they have and the only way they are able to leave the house. This man committed suicide about three weeks later. I was unable to eat or sleep for several days, but then “We” don’t like animals, I have heard that so often. I just tell myself that my main responsibility was and is to the animals. You are the best, Dr Emily
Thank you for your empathy, Dr. Emily, and for helping us to think about this from a vet’s perspective.
I have often wondered whether vets are given training on how to help clients through the decision to euthanize. When my dogs are close to the end of their life, I have appreciated a vet who will help me make the decision, when we both know that’s what needs to be done. I need someone to take the load of guilt off me for making the decision to “kill my dog”, even when I know he has a poor quality of life and will not get better.
Years ago, I had an elderly Boston terrier who had been treated for months for congestive heart failure. He began limping, and I took him to my vet, who realized that his meds could no longer manage the fluid buildup. When he told me it was time for euthanasia, he said that his father had died of this disease and had felt like he was drowning….and that we treat our animals better than people when they are like this. My heart was broken since this was a dog I had rescued, but I knew it was time to say goodbye.
Thank you for your “explanation” of how euthanasia affects all of us. Having gone through it too many times with pets, I at least feel better now. I’m also sure that even though vets go through the process many times during the course of their work, some are harder than others. Thank you.
Well said.
You’ve got nothing to worry about. You will see them all at The Rainbow Bridge !
Dear dr. Emily,
we recently have one of out cats, a 14 years oltre siamese, go to euthanasia for a largr abdomen cancer. We was very sad, but we reconized that in that case the euthanasia was the online soluzioni. The veterinary was very professional. So I underastand perfectly your pointer of view.
Thank you for this. My vet, who is also a friend, has shed tears with me as well as been so honest by saying “If he was mine..” when I’ve asked “Is it time?” She has also said “Let’s give this a try first”, and she’s been right on all occasions. I trust her judgement implicitly.
I so wish we had this option for people
Thank you for all you do for your patients and their “parents”. ❤️🐾💐
Been there done that with relief and long term sadness. Love ya xoxo especially at home.
As a pet mom I want you to know that I have been very grateful to my vet each time we have had to euthanize one of our pets. It never gets easier to make that final decision and then to go home to emptiness and learn to live with that. I’ve always been super impressed that the vet allowed me to be the one to make that impossible decision and me being able to consult with my vet that I was indeed doing what was best for my baby. It’s a part of your career that I’ve always wondered about (how do you deal with it?) and so this was a very interesting post to read. Thank you for sharing this one with us.
Thank you for your POV on this. One thing I have learned from a local rescue is that its better to do it 2 days too early than 1 day to late. Thank you for all the compassionate care and education you bring to this community.
YOU are a gift. Euthanasia is a blessing for pets that have outlived a good life. God Bless.
Having gone through the tough and difficult decision 4 times we have always appreciated the kindness and caring our veterinarians gave to us.
Your work is always appreciated by us. Know you always have support and prayers from far away ❤️🙏.
Beautifully said
At least our pets don’t have to suffer when they are in pain. I wish we where as humain to our own kind.
During the ambivalence, is it time or not, an objective opinion is often reassuring that yes, or no, it is time. That space where you harbor those difficult feelings is really a repository for all the stars you are earning in heaven. Ending suffering, even for an animal, is an act of compassion that does not go unnoticed.
Thank you for letting us know. For me this is the hardest part of being a pet owner.
Good read! Thank you for being who you are.
Dra Emily, I watch your participation in the show and you are excelent. Animals care about quality of life, without it, there is no life for them and they just suffer in agony. Thank you for being a excelent human being too.
Thank you! This was excellent. I am watching my 16-year-old kitty slowly waste away from kidney failure, but she’s still happy and sweet, still eating and cuddling; she will let me know when it’s time. This helps a lot.
DR. Emily. Thank you for this very informative lesson.
👍🙏…..nuff said…..you’re a top notch communicator and a top notch credit to your profession……PEACE, Emily
I’m not surprised this is your topic at this time. My little buddy, that ONE special dog of a lifetime was recently euthanized. She battled cancer 3 times including emergency surgery for a splenic sarcoma 2 ago (!) but this time at age 15 she couldn’t beat it, primary bladder cancer. I sat up with her all night when she took “the turn.” She panted as she struggled to get comfortable and looked at me with pleading eyes. The next morning I called the at-home euthanasia vet I had on call. I couldn’t let her go through another night like that. He was a true blessing, so gentle and caring. And now she’s gone. I believe that if you really love your pet you’ll do everything possible to keep them alive and if you love them just a little more you’ll let them go. I miss her so much. RIP Zoe.
One of my granddaughters told me about the Dr. Pol show. After watching I called and told her I might not be able to continue to watch it. I had seen two horses and a dog put down, and it was distressing. Needless to say, I am now a big fan. I always thought you seemed to get the complicated and more serious cases. I am glad you are happy in Virginia, but I miss you on the show. Enjoy your messages.
The last kitty I took to euthanize was the sweetest male orange tabby in the world. His sister had died in recovery from a cancer operation and so never came back from the vet. Our vacation was planned at the end of that same week and I worried for him because he had never been alone in his whole life. I hired our cat sitter (who had been to our house before, many times) to come feed him, stay with him as much time as she could spare, but it took her 2 days to find him. He had holed u in the back of my closet, and when she found him, he was just so scared that he would hiss and spit at her.
Once we came home, I pulled him out of the closet, and he seemed okay at first. Then I started to see how sad he was, and I thought that maybe he’d feel better if there was another cat there. Adopting another cat was a disaster for him. He had one health problem after another; he would just recover from one malady and then another would strike, until finally he was so painful that he wasn’t getting enough food. I tried everything I could think of until one night, he couldn’t even stand by his bowl. I took him in my arms and he felt colder than a cat should be. I tried to hold onto him to keep him warm, but he didn’t want me to. Finally I wrapped him in a soft towel and took him to the vet. They came out to get him, then called me to ask what they should do. They asked me if I wanted to come say goodbye– and I know now that I should have, but I was too wrapped up in my own grief.
It’s been several years now since then, but as I am writing this, I am sobbing. I feel as if I did the wrong thing for him at every turn, and then left him to die by himself.
In March 2014 my dog, Max, was put to sleep (he was a mutt). In August 2017 my beagle, Molly, was put to sleep. They were both 17 years old. I cannot use any term other than “put to sleep”. I miss them!
Dr. Emily, you are a wonderful vet. You are compassionate, have a great sense of humor and a delightful way to explain many things we as clients with animals need to know. Thank you.
If you love your pet, you should be willing to give them peace when there is no hope for the animal, and it is truly suffering It is the last act of love you can give them.
Easy? Nope. Right thing to do? Absolutely.
Well said! Our sweet little Rosie, age 16 years and 9 months, was slipping into the final stage of her life. She struggled every day and no matter how we tried to help her, she just kept slipping further. First her sight, then her hearing. She was losing weight at an alarming rate, and began drinking copious amounts of water but not eating. We didn’t know what was wrong, but when she stopped eating, we rushed her to the vet with little hope that we would be bringing her home again. Our vet told us she was in renal failure and suggested euthanasia. While it was hard to hear, we knew it was the right thing to do. She had given us nearly 17 years of unconditional love, and we felt that ending her suffering was the most loving thing we could do for her. I held her and covered her little head with kisses as the vet gave her the injection. Moments later, it was over. While sad for us, it was also a relief because we knew she was no longer hurting. Endings and partings can be painful, but there is a certain joy in knowing she is no longer in pain. RIP, pretty girl, Rosie. We love you to the moon and back!
Thank you for posting this Dr. Emily. It’s very timely and appreciated. I just wish you lived here because I think you could have help us save our calf who we had to euthanize last Monday. I’m still very upset about it because I feel like we could have done more. But I know he was suffering and it got to the point that my not wanting to give up was not in his best interest.
He had joint ill and really went downhill after a joint lavage.
Thanks, again,
Kathy
Thank you for your perspective. Our 14 year old dog just came home from three days in the hospital for heart disease, congestive heart failure and pulmonary hypertension. We know our time with him is limited but we will enjoy our time with him, no matter how long. Eileen
Plz put together a production team and film your practice. Need an extra investor, just send it my way.
Plz put together a production team and film your practice. Need an extra investor, send me info.
Thank You!
Thank you for the beautiful words. I’ve had to put down 2 of our dogs. Hardest thing to do but was the best thing we were assured. I recently had my cat die. I had been told he had a heart murmur and told what to watch for. Also, had been told he might just not wake up one day from a nap. That is what he did….for me and him….he was sleeping on the arm of my chair next to me and the next thing he had fallen off. Thought man you really are sound asleep. He made a couple of tiny meows and that was it. I’m sad but glad for him he went peacefully and at home. Once again Dr. Emily thank you for all you do!
I’m in the second half of my 70 year. I have had to put down a number of pets over time. It has always been a mercy. Each time I’ve sworn, “No more pets.” Yet, when there are no animals around the house life is somehow much less. To mis-quote “Better to have loved and lost than never having loved at all.”
Without vs with euthanasia: We had an 18 y cat that had hyper thyroid. After many months of different medications, (radioactive iodine treatment was not available) I was giving him IV fluids expecting the end but not knowing what signs to expect. On sudden impulse I picked him up and brought him to sit with us. I held him in my lap, and he reached up and patted my cheek. Then he started huffing and his pupils were dilated because his brain was starving from lack of oxygen. We talked lovingly to him, that we loved him and he was a good cat. A few convulsions later, and he was gone. I left a message and his veterinarian called right back at 10 pm to console me. I brought his body next morning and his veterinarian hugged me as I cried.
Another cat, aged 18 y. She had chronic kidney disease and we kept her on special low protein diet. We also gave her blood pressure medicines, very low human dose from the regular human pharmacy. She lived two more years. One morning she had a stroke and we rushed her to the vet. Neurologically and personality-wise she was not the same cat anymore. This time we chose euthanasia. I held her while she died. It was better in this case because she was also deaf and could not have benefited from our loving words etc.
Being able to accompany our beloved companion at the end is so much better than the cats we lost by disappearance or car hits.
dear Emily, thank you for this article.
I have put down many animals. I love my animals don’t get me wrong. Somehow when it is time you just know.
Its never gotten easier
somehow its a relief when they don’t suffer anymore.
keep writing
your the best
love ya,
ann
My struggles are real and I just can’t find closure. I have to read this over and over to try and convince myself I did the right thing.
The Dr. Pol episode about Bub the horse is on now. I think it is one of my favorites because of the concern for the horse and the owners. One of your best.
This is such an emotional issue. I fell in love with you and all the staff at Dr. Pol this spring when I was home with covid the 2nd time. I laugh because I grew up in Charlevoix, Mi, and have been in NC for over 40 years now and don’t think I could live up there in the winter any more. I have a 37 year old Quarter Horse that has arthritis and is almost blind. My vet told me she would tell me when it’s time to go. That she would stop eating or just walk away. She is always happy to see me. She eats 80-100% of her 4 meals a day. But it is so hard to see her in pain. She gets more and more sway back every year and it’s affecting her proprioception. My vet tells me not to make any decision I can’t reverse. I try to make her life the best I can, I have been a nurse for over 40 years but this is more emotional for me than working with humans. I still love watching you and the other vets work on these amazing animals.
Doc, thank you for this post. And thank you for helping us do right by our loved ones. You’re very appreciated.
Love your posts. Thanks!
Love U 2!
I have had to have several pets euthanized over the years and every time the vet suggested I leave and remember my friends as they were. I refused every time. My friends were always there for me and I was going to be there for them until the last breath. I know the vets had good intentions and maybe there are those that can’t handle being there but I would have been left with the pain of abandoning my best friend. I also believe that the terminally ill should have the option to choose how their life ends and I would still be right there for their last breath because its the morally right and human thing to do.