Posted on by jinj88

White privilege and one eye-opening event

I realize that I may lose some followers with this one, but I felt it needed to be said… for the 40 millionth time. This is not a political post, race relations spans all of humanity whether or not you believe we should tax the rich.

Image may contain: 4 people, including Emily K. Thomas and Tony Thomas, people sitting, child, outdoor and nature

First of all, I feel like people immediately get offended and on the defensive when “white privilege” is mentioned and it really shouldn’t be that way. It’s a term to simply ask you to stop, think with your heart, hear what people are saying, and try to see life through the eyes of a person of color. As white people, even though we don’t realize it most of the time, we are given certain privileges that others don’t see. We expect that if we enter a building, we will be treated courteously and not be followed by a security guard. We expect that if a police officer pulls us over and we are polite and courteous, that everything will go okay except maybe the ticket we take home. We even expect that when we do raise a little hell and talk back to the authority figures, that more than likely, we will not end up dead.

Let’s think of “white privilege” as like what royals or “A list” celebrities experience compared to what the average citizen might. A royal walks up to pretty much anywhere they want and security guards simply step aside and question nothing. However, at that same location, an average citizen would be IDed and have their bag inspected before entering.

Image may contain: one or more people, people standing, tree and outdoor
Some young 20 somethings being rowdy in a hotel parking lot Savannah, GA – never once thought about being shot at or having the police called on us – white privilege

I thought that I understood my privilege before and I was ashamed of it. But being ashamed does nothing, and in the wrong mindset, causes bitterness and resentment. I thought I understood until one day, I was scrolling through Facebook after a few recent stories about innocent black men being killed for things as innocent as simply going for a jog and saw a friend’s post. Let me tell you about Cherice, a black veterinarian. I barely know her. I joined a Facebook group that is for veterinarians who are mothers and is a place where we can talk about cases, ask for parenting advice, or just vent about rough times in our lives. A couple of years ago, I posted about the very hard time I was having working at the clinic I was at and expressed my feelings of frustration, severe depression, and of being trapped. She was one of the first members to privately message me and give me support and pour out her life story to let me know that I was not alone.

Later, we became Facebook friends and, eventually met at a Veterinary conference where we got to have a brief chat between lectures and got to hug each other – finally through all the help she’d extended to me. Cherice had NO IDEA who I was when she reached out to me, but gave me her heart and soul. So, when all this was coming out about Ahmaud Arbery, I saw a post from her on Facebook that made my heart sink and tears immediately well up in my eyes. She posted an adorable picture of her two little boys taking a bath, and wrote:

“At this point I have no idea how to keep my own sons alive. I imagine I’m supposed to feel “lucky” that they don’t look “that” brown. Maybe they will get a pass and someone won’t kill them. I don’t even know how to feel about even typing that”

Read it again.

I thought I understood what it meant that I have unwritten privileges that people of color (POC) do not. I thought I got it that when I send someone my resume or have an interview on the phone, I am lucky enough to not have to worry about if my name sounded white or if my accent sounded white enough. I thought I understood that my father was able to go from absolute dirt poor to second in command at the Robins Air Force base because of the opportunities and unspoken advantages available to him from his time of birth that allowed him to succeed and get into Georgia Tech (one of the first white colleges in the south to allow black people and not even until 1968 – that’s ONE generation, not 100s of years ago), and get the promotions he got. I thought I had pretty well educated myself by watching documentaries and shows on Netflix such as “Dear White People” – where the main character looks almost exactly like my niece (white/black blend).

Then, I read Cherice’s post, guys, and my guts. Hit. The. Floor. I have suffered from post partum anxiety where you are constantly in fear your child will be harmed or die to the point that I sought help. I cannot watch shows where a child or baby is in danger, even though I know it’s fiction. But, to read her post and think that of all the crazy scenarios I have pulled through my head, I have never thought what would happen when my babies grow up and someone sees them and immediately judges them as a criminal just by the way they look. I will likely never have to, but what if I did? What kind of pain it must be for POC to create the most beautiful sweet babies, the centers, the loves of their lives, and know that others will likely look at them like they are less than. Not only that, but have to worry that because of the way they look, people may even want to harm or kill them.

Image may contain: 3 people, people smiling, child and outdoor
Tony and I with our first little precious baby – not thinking about how the world will judge her.

This is white privilege. No one is asking white people to feel ashamed. We cannot help that we were born into privilege just as they cannot help they were born not white. What we can do, though is talk about it. Next time you are driving down the road or watching TV, try to note the ratio of white to black or POC you see when it comes to movies, shows, even simple billboards. Black people and POC have a stigma and none of it is being helped by the majority of the everyday people we see in the media being white. If we could surround ourselves by a normalcy of seeing POC doing everyday things that we can all relate to, maybe the idea of seeing a POC would not be so shocking.

When I moved to mid Michigan from the south, I had been there about 2-3 WEEKS before I saw a black person. I was so excited, I called Tony who was still trying to get all our stuff together in South Carolina. Despite the fact that I saw like one POC in the first 2-3 weeks I was there, and not many in between that time and when I left 5 years later, some people there were still racist. I wondered “how can you be racist when you don’t even see black people?” The only thing I can reason (because everything needs reason) is that these people only knew black people in the media. And what does mainstream media normally show black people as? That’s right. Nothing. There’s not even a normalcy for black people in the movies. It’s definitely getting better, but not much. So, for these people living in mid Michigan in their mostly white world, black people and POC are basically foreign to them, and anything foreign must not be trusted.

So, when you consider your white privilege, don’t get mad. Don’t be offended. Don’t immediately start swinging. Try to see the world through the eyes of the unpopular and try to think of anything you can do to help. Helping can be anything from purposefully hiring a POC (qualified, obviously – and so many are) to just looking deep inside yourself to make a change, then spreading that change to anyone who will listen. It’s 2020 and there’s still leaps and bounds of progress we can make.

I’m sorry if this post has somehow offended you. I mean literally zero ill will. I just want to help bridge people together. Sometimes it’s hard to think of yourself as needing to grow, I face it everyday in my own work as a vet. I’m never the best I can be, I can always be better. So can you. <3

No photo description available.
Sweet baby Oscar, watching kites and, I’m sure, reflecting on life

Thanks to my friend, Cherice for approving my use of her quote. I will keep you in my prayers and hope the world changes sooner rather than later.

Love, Emily

154 Replies to “White privilege and one eye-opening event”

  1. I loved this post!! Thank you for sharing your heart and convictions!

      1. Very well put Emily and all very true – thanks for writing such a thought provoking post.

  2. This is a very thoughtful and eloquent post and I’m so glad you wrote it. I can’t imagine the frustration and terror of knowing that my society did not value my life or my family’s lives the same as others. I’m very hopeful that more of us who have never felt this ourselves are learning to see what it does to others–that’s the only way we can be motivated to change it.

  5. I have always respected your professionalism as a doctor and as
    A good person I love your wisdom on everyone getting along and having more respect for people who have a much harder life than we do.
    You’re so amazing.

    1. Sometimes I wish I was as privileged as some black or white musicians and athletes. They have the platform. They can do more! People recognize them.
      These riots are ill timed and very irresponsible. White and black people die all the time by cops. Why protest in the middle of an epidemic? Are you bringing the virus home to the family??

      1. Emily…❤❤❤❤
        I am a black woman and I thank you for who you are. I fully understand what you are saying and I appreciate it. People (generality) are afraid of what the don’t know or understand, but if they would just be brave for a few minutes they would see….it’s not so bad. We all bleed red, we all want the same things…health for ourselves and our loved ones, a home, to be able to provide for ourselves and families …we are all human beings. This blog post made me love you even more. I do believe we would be friends if we ever met. And I’ve said that to you long before this post. God bless you, Tony and your beautiful kids!!

      2. Sir, all of the protests aren’t riots.
        Protesters are protesting and rioters are rioting. There IS a difference.

        1. Yes!!! Peaceful protestors have the right to do so. The others are taking advantage of the world that we are living in with the COVID stay at home and social distancing. Things have got to change. Police that are racists and do what they want need to be fired before this hatred is continuing to be propagated. We all have to change the status quo for the next generation of all our children. If only the white supremacists, nazi party groups and all the other ignorant and hate-filled men and women could change the cycle of teaching innocent children how to hate. Babies are born with no hatred and no ignorance and then it is pumped into them by their parents. If only the rest of us white people could make a stand fighting peacefully for change. If only we all could teach love and let that grow to become the norm. I pray to God that he might change the hearts of the haters. Emily your post was brilliant. Let your generation try to make a change and treat all people with respect and love. As I read from a book written by Amy Roloff whose family have been on TLC, I note that as she was born with dwarfism and her father told her when she was bullied by all the children at her school, God does not make mistakes. We are all the same in God’s eyes!

        3. No difference when they stand side by side. The reason for standing is difference but when you see you are standing in the middle of violence it is time to move or admit you are supporting the violence. Stop denying support for hate by acting innocent. It doesn’t work.

      3. I suppose they will bring the virus home about as much as the gamblers who flocked the Las Vegas casinos without masks and they’re inside 🤷🏾‍♀️

      4. You have some valid points, Mr. Schlegel. The timing of the protests, while not good due to Civid-19, was caused by (a few) bad police killing that young man, George Floyd. I respectfully submit that if those police weren’t bad none of this would have happened.

        This young man was begging for his life, explaining that he could not breathe. If you were suffocating, begging for your life, do you think it would be reasonable for someone to totally ignore your pleas and instead to purposefully choose to inflict more harm towards you? Of course you wouldn’t — me either — because it is unthinkable, and you are obviously someone who is thoughtful. The policemen literally and purposefully gave NO mercy to that young man who was *already* in their custody. They CHOSE to due him harm. If that is not worth immediately protesting, what is? This is America . We fight for our fellow man, and the rights we all have. We must protest.

        1. Protesting is fine…but in a middle of a pandemic? Masks won’t help you from getting infected. Why take a chance and infect someone else like your parents and friends?

        2. To protest is one thing. To point out wrongs by government employees is right and just. To destroy private property, public property, physically harm and even kill all are not a protest but anarchy against government. That solves nothing in the current government and presents unknown government forces to replace minor wrongs.

          How can “we fight for our fellow man” when we destroy his property? What good do we give “our fellow man” when we kill him?

          1. As a friend to a white man who owned a business in Minneapolis, they burned his business to the ground. He will not be reopening. I guess his crime is being white. Not sure how violence by protesters is deemed okay. I do not believe in hatred or violence.

      5. Mr. Schlegel, with all due respect, for years, some people have brought racism home and infected generations of their families with it.

        1. But this virus can kill all of us.Its very selfish and irresponsible protesting in a middle of a pandemic. I don’t even get to see my Mom. I certainly wouldn’t be able to afford a gold coffin or see her get buried.

      6. Interesting that people say that these riots, lootings, and killings were caused by the preventable death of Mr George. “Caused by”??? Not a chance. The riots, looting, stealing, killing, mayhem, destruction were CAUSED by evil using people to bring these things about. The people who do such things were waiting to do them…some EXCUSE to attack peaceful people, bring death, destruction, and chaos onto society. There are always those kinds of people looking for excuses. I have said it before and it bears saying again: the people involved in these riots, killings, destruction never knew Mr. George. They were waiting to pour out evil. All they needed was an excuse. “Even so, come Lord Jesus”

  9. Beautifully said!!!! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. Honesty is so crucial in this time. Good for you!

  10. Thank you Emily, your words are heartfelt and perfect right now. I hope and pray that with the latest tragedy of George Floyd that more people will try to reach into their heart and find some compassion, empathy and understanding of what poc go through, every minute of their lives. I hope I live long enough to see a change in racism. I’m so glad your friend consented in the use of her heart wrenching words. ❤️

  11. Thanks so much for posting this. It’s a scary, heartbreaking time, and hopefully we come out better on the other end.

  12. Oh Dr. Emily thank you for these profound words . I went through similar times in 1960s . There has been progress but not enough. Definitely not enough. Our world still needs love. I worked in healthcare all my working life . Now I rescue and foster dogs and cats. Thought I was too fed up with people. Who dump animals in the surrounding orchards. But maybe I need to get back out there . Some progress but Lord not enough.

  13. Amen! A very eloquent and spot-on piece of writing. I agree with you 100% and you have not lost this follower. I live 20 miles from Washington, D.C., it’s a melting pot of people from all over the world, and I wouldn’t want to live anywhere else. There is so much to learn from people no matter who they are.

    1. Yes Jan I live in California amongst a very diverse population. I love the different cultures that we all learn from. To hear Armenian stories. And Hmong stories Hispanic. Indian and Native American. Not to mention Black American.A beautiful mixture of humanity. Wouldn’t trade it for anything. And to see the ripple of prejudice that runs through it all . Sigh

  14. Well Said and Well Written! Thank you for making sense of it all! You are so right on! You are a super great person! Peace! ✌️

  15. Thank you for sharing Emily. You are wise and such a great advocate for living beings, including humans❤️ Sending love to the Thomas family.

  16. This post is awesome and I am right there with you in every word you wrote! Thank you for sharing this ! ❤️

  17. Thank you for your beautiful post. I, too, worry about my nieces and nephews. It is so important that we all try to understand what others are dealing with and to try to make sure we are not contributing to their problems.

  19. Emily…❤❤❤❤
    I am a black woman and I thank you for who you are. I fully understand what you are saying and I appreciate it. People (generality) are afraid of what the don’t know or understand, but if they would just be brave for a few minutes they would see….it’s not so bad. We all bleed red, we all want the same things…health for ourselves and our loved ones, a home, to be able to provide for ourselves and families …we are all human beings. This blog post made me love you even more. I do believe we would be friends if we ever met. And I’ve said that to you long before this post. God bless you, Tony and your beautiful kids!!

  20. Beautifully written…………courageously thought out…………a lesson that should be taught to all young children so that they may grow into adulthood without a racial chip on their shoulder………….
    I don’t know if you’re a better thinker/author or a better vet.
    Either way you are an amazing young woman 👩……….
    Cheers, Emily and God Bless🙏🇺🇸🤠

  21. Thank you for this post! It’s spot on. I feel like we as a society have hit a perfect storm. I am so encouraged , excited, anxious – so many emotions over the BLM Rallies and marches. We just have to get it right this time! We just have to!

  22. Good post. Grew up in Fairfax County, VA when it was separate but equal. Read that “unequal”. Never went to school and never swam in a pool or ate in a restaurant with a person of color. My personal definition of courage after all these years is the one black high school students who showed up at our school to begin the process of integrating the schools. That was 1963 if my memory serves me correctly. No point to this comment other than a little history lesson, I guess.

  25. Beautiful post. Thank you for putting your thoughts down for all to see. 🇨🇦

  27. This Latina thanks you for being so honest. I grew up in Grand Rapids, Michigan in the 1970s and I can still remember the horror I felt in 1st grade when my music teacher explained to us about slavery and the songs sung by the slaves as they worked. I could not imagine in my young mind that people were bought and sold! That was my first experience of how horrible human beings could treat each other.

  28. As another white woman, I am very glad that you posted this. We all have to speak up and speak out. But. I feel like your apology at the end undermined a lot of what you said. If anyone is offended by what you wrote, then they have not looked at the racism in their own heart and soul. So please never apologize for talking about white privilege. Ever. Do not apologize for helping to expose the bigotry we start being taught, by Society if not by our own family before we can speak. Including who we are allowed to play with and who we are not. It’s not the job of black people and all people of color to educate us. We must educate ourselves and each other and make the world better.

    Oh and I also say this with love: a better term to use for your niece would be biracial. Or multiracial, depending on what her background is. Not a blend. Thank you for listening, my sister in believing that black lives matter!

  29. You write beautifully. If you lose followers sa a result of this post, it is not your loss but theirs.

  30. Well said Doc. You are an inspiration. Keep up the good work. White people like you and Tony give me hope.

  31. This was very well written and obviously heartfelt. I hope it opens some eyes instead of losing followers. I love the pictures of your family. The kids are growing so much. Oscar reflecting on life is precious. You and Tony look happy and blessed. Take care, be well and keep spreading the wonderful words.

  33. Well said Doc. It gives me hope when white people like you and Tony voice your awareness and sensitivity. Keep up the good work.

  34. I love you this! I’ve always liked you on Dr. Pol, but after reading your blog posts, I love you; and THIS post makes me love you and your family even more! Thank you for pouring out your heart, feelings and inner thoughts to us. It’s good to know that you will raise your children to love all people, no matter their skin color, and to recognize white privilege, and what that means for POC.

  35. Thank you, Dr Emily, for sharing your wonderful insight with us! You’re so wise!

    America is not living up to its ideals until there is equality & justice for Everyone & change won’t happen without white acceptance & cooperation.

  36. Well said Emily, and so very true. We have a long way to go for it to get right. But we can, one person at a time.

  38. Thank you Emily. Cherice…I hope that your children will grow up in a country that FINALLY understands why you worry…very soon. Stay safe.

  39. I do get defensive when the phrase “white privilege” is said in a way to try to make me feel bad for being born white. Also… I get angry when it’s used in a way to justify what material things a poc doesn’t have compared to what I do have. Not fair. You don’t know me or my life and I don’t know you or yours. Js.

  41. Thank you for this. I am having a hard time right now because my sister can’t even see her own white privilege. I appreciate you risking losing followers to speak up on behalf of all people of color. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👍🏼😊❤️ And you won’t lose me! 😬

  42. That was a beautiful post. My 4 kids are older and they get together and go “hang out” I always have typical concerns – drive safe, keep an eye on your sister etc. Never once have I thought they would be endangered by police or die because someone thought they looked suspicious. That is white privilege.

  44. Just when I could not be more impressed and gain more respect and interest in you….you go and posted this. Good job Dr. Emily! Well said.

  46. I love your comments generally, but I found these particularly poignant because they are so true. I watched Sen. Cory Booker on Colbert the other night, and he related that when he was a teen he was taken aside by the older men in his family who counseled him about what it meant to be a Black man in American society. He talked about George Floyd, and he spoke of how all this affects him as a human being. I think that every day we should treat whoever we come in contact with in the way we want to be treated – as loving human beings with families and friends who deserve to be treated as the people they are, not what some stereotype tells us they are.

  47. Thanks for sharing your heart in this matter. I have been wondering lately about the flipside of white privilege that I enjoy. While I understand that reverse racism is alive and well I cannot imagine the suspicion and fear that a POC endures daily.

  48. YES!! Thanks for sharing your heart in this matter. I have been wondering lately about the flipside of white privilege that I enjoy. While I understand that reverse racism is alive and well I cannot imagine the suspicion and fear that a POC endures daily.

  49. Thank you for this post.
    It is a bit different here ,but only a tiny bit.
    Very good you simply(lots of courage) spoke up.

  52. Amen, and I hope MANY people will rethink their views of the world after recent incidents. I hope that local governments will truly make an effort to teach ALL children, to help them when they need help at home, to make neighborhoods safer, to hire people because they need a job and want to work, and most importantly, to change the way we – as law enforcement – enforce the law.

  57. Thanks, Emily. I read or watch all of your posts, but I have not been moved to comment for quite a while. This one, however, did move me. You stated so much so clearly. Thanks for your comments.

  58. One of your best blogs yet Emily. Thanks for your wonderful perspective. Living in New Hampshire my entire life has me relating closely to your Michigan references. You are a person with great quality of character that I’m proud to say I know. Even if it’s only through social media! Keep on keeping on, my friend 🙂

  59. So very well stated. I admire you and have since the PVS days. You are truly a humanitarian and a loving person.

  60. Thank you for your article; I would not take offence to someone talking about everyday happenings that we don’t even have to think about. To your friend Cherice and her little one, I hope that we can all make enough change in not only our own lives, but the lives of “POC” that they won’t have to constantly be on guard or afraid. We are all guilty of treating certain people differently; we all need to make big adjustments in our everyday lives. We are all humans. Let’s act like it.

  62. What an amazing post!! I am one that hated the term “white privilege”, and felt it was a racist comment against the white people. I now realize I didn’t understand what it truly meant, and the depth of it. What a perfectly written definition!! This needs to get “ out there” to help others understand. I love people of color, and wish we could all get past looking at skin color, and realize we are all human beings with the same hopes and dreams for our lives, and our kids.
    Great job again Dr Emily!!

  63. Thank you for using your platform to raise awareness! Brave at a time when we all need braveness!

  64. Beautifully written. Thank you. Honestly, that was one of the best pieces I’ve read.

  65. Emily, DO NOT apologize for such a well stated post. I too, have DEAR friends who have much more melanin in their skin than I and I treasure their friendship. To know they hurt makes my heart hurt so badly. It’s time to STOP, LOOK and LISTEN and CHANGE for the better. I come from a generation where water fountains were LABELED! What utter CRAP. I remember the first black child who came to our school. My heart went out to him. We were in high school, my last year, 1966. Every day, as I left school he was standing at the door waiting for his ride. I always spoke to him and smiled. He looked so very lonely. This blog of yours was the first thing I read this morning. It was a very nice and welcomed start to Sunday morning for me. God bless you and your family and God bless our brothers and sisters of color.

  66. Emily, well said!! It is heart breaking for sure. Where we live we don’t get much chance to interact but I believe the relations aren’t as bad here as some other places. I hate to watch the news and see and hear of the horrible things being done by those we are supposed to trust and respect! That being said I best not rant on. You did a good with your post. I wish your friend, Cherice, the best in the world and pray that things will improve faster than we anticipate. Peace

  67. This is the best post you have ever written, Emily. I thinks about two friends of mine married to black men and a black former neighbor who has a beautiful now adult son every single day. How to get through the day wondering will my child be alive tonight? Thank you for posting this. I would share it on my FB feed if you let me put the link. Xo Rachael

  69. Thank you for your honesty and introspection. I applaud your courage! I think even more of you now even though I have always respected you professionally and personally. 🙏💜

  70. Thank you for your honesty and introspection. I applaud your courage! I think even more of you now even though I have always respected you professionally and personally. 🙏💜

  72. Hey Dr. Emily I’m so glad to see this post! The subject of racism and white privilege is reaching the boiling point. I grew up in a very rural Greenup county KY where I was six or seven before is saw a black man. I was so upset for him because I thought he had cancer or something else really bad. I was with my grandmother and pointed him out to her. She said that he was a “N” word and that I should avoid them. I told my mom about this when I got home and she said your grandmother is wrong! All people are created by God and we should treat everyone with the same respect that we want. I’ve struggled with hard prejudices that my friends and family have displayed towards POC my entire life. I’m 57 years old now and I’m disgusted with what I’ve seen in the news recently! I’m disgusted with the white religious leaders that still showing support for certain political leaders that WONT use their platform to speak out against it and put a stop to this. If they don’t have it in their hearts to do that then they won’t. Vote in November let’s see change towards people not just a good stock market. We can’t take it with us but we will take our character and that is what we will be judged by. My only criticism of this post is…..and I mean this with my upmost respect…….non of us should have to say I’m sorry for saying this! God isn’t sorry for creating them therefore I’m not sorry for excepting all people! I even said to a Christian friend of mine that made a racist comment one day. Will you ask God when you get to heaven “why did you create such horrible races?” In the end when our lives are finished we’ll either be a person that excepted all people with no reservations or we will answer for judging POC as less than human. I don’t want to be in the latter group!! #voteforchange

  77. Hi Emily,
    I said to my black coworker the other day when she was of course very upset that good people will always be good people. We just have to a better job screening those folks who could potentially due harm to innocent people.
    My dad was German/Irish and my mom Filipino so I do not qualify for “White Privilege “ I guess.
    Thanks for all your comments and your posts.

  78. Dear Emily thank you for your wonderful words of reflection and wisdom! May more people are becoming this open heart, when they read this.
    Colorful lifes are godgiven all over the world.
    God bless you and your family!

  79. Your post is interesting. I am a “white” woman of 66 years. I am very prejudice against any POC and I am a product of my home, church, and society. It is sad, really. I don’t like being prejudice and I am working on myself, or rather, I should say God is working on me. I do not consider myself to have “white privileges “. Grew up poor and am still poor; no money for college and went to work the Monday after I graduated high school. No poc in my graduating class, either. Just white people and Hispanics. Your message is not for me, though. I cannot change the color of my skin nor the environment in which I was raised. What I can change and influence, I try and or do. I cannot change that here in South Texas, Hispanic clerks will wait on other Hispanics in line before they wait on me. Such is life. I don’t cry in my Cheerios; it’s just life. If poc’s don’t recognize the same thing, that is their own fault. Grow up. Get over it and move on. Not everything is just because they are a people of color. Not all treatment is because they are a people of color. Maybe they are wrong by being lawless, mean, harmful to others, or just plain evil. I would not get a pass if I acted that way, either, and I supposedly am “white privileged”. Nothing is going to change, generally, in this world until this world is changed. And it will change, regardless of my action or your actions. It will be destroyed with fervent heat. One day there will be a new Heaven and a new Earth, wherein all righteousness dwells. Thankfully, I won’t be prejudice, then.

    1. I appreciate your sentiments, Barb. It takes courage to express yourself online. While you and I may come at this dialog from differing directions, I just wanted to encourage you in your “self-work”. It’s not easy to take a hard look at how you came to feel the way you feel. Thank God for the free will He gifted us with. I posted a general comment to Emily’s post that I hope you will read. I pray you can feel the courage to take charge of the rest of your life, with God’s loving kindness to uplift you. God bless you.

      1. Ginny, thank you for your encouragement. I am a work in progress and God is willing to help me. I have changed, I am changing, and I am willing to continue working on myself in this area and so many others. I am thankful that we did not pass on to our grandchildren that same heritage of prejudices we were taught as we grew up. God is good and He loves me and doesn’t want me to stay the same in any way. Thankful for His grace.

  80. Well said. As a white person, it is impossible to feel what POC experience. We have never been seen or treated like POC. Like you, I just want everyone to live free and enjoy life amoung other people of the human race. The color of our skin has nothing to do with being part of the human race. Hopefully, this too will change. Possibly in our lifetime.
    Keep your heart and mind open and your pencil sharp. I’ll be here to read what you have to say.

  81. Emily, I applaud your being a Human Rights Champion. After all, we are all of one race when you get down to it. The Human Race.

  82. Dear Dr. Emily, I always had a very strong suspicion that you were a very empathetic person with a strong sense of fairness and what’s right. I do get how you can’t help but worry about your own kids. And it never ends cause your kids are going to make you grandparents. Having said that the reward of having grandkids makes it all worth it.

    I’m sorry there are people who have the constant threats hanging over their heads. I do what I can with my votes to stop it.

  83. Dear Emily,
    You have spoken so eloquently about a topic few white people are willing to broach. I praise you for voicing your self-discovery. So few of us are willing to make that self-examination and publicly acknowledge that, yes, we are privileged and our black sisters and brothers are not. You are blessed!!
    About ten years ago, I was brought to my knees through a religious experience. God blessed me with deep humility that scoured away all my hubris and permitted me to start a new life. Amazingly, since then, I have been blessed to view all around me through my new, humble, blessed lens–and discovered that when I don’t judge or assume, those around me lose their skin colors and personality filters. I just see them as children of God–just like me. What a blessing!!

  84. I have been watching events unfold, have been reading the news, just read your blog and all I can think is we all need to talk, we all need to share what is in our soul and we need to stop this inequality once and for all. It is not right, it has never been right and it needs to stop now! And for the first time in my life I am actually hopeful that it will and that we have finally had enough! You are a kind soul and I am so happy you spoke up.

  85. Thank you Doctor Emily for saying what needs to be said. And for having the courage to say it.

  86. Your post on race touched me deeply. Thank you. I am 88, was active in the 60s on racial matters, still live in the South and have strong feelings on the need for understanding each other and for facilitating this. People like you and Tony and your friend you mentioned (and my grandchildren) are my hope for the future.

    Again, I thank you for being honest and true.

  87. Beautifully written from the heart. It’s a cliche, but maybe if your words can make one person stop and think, perhaps change or take action, you’ve helped make the world just a little bit brighter.

  88. Emily,

    Very well said. I know how it is to struggle with words to put into a blog post. Thank you for having the courage to do so. This is a tough, thorny issue, but we all must remember that we are image-bearers of God. All of us. Period.

    Keep up the good work.

  89. Thank you, Emily. Very well put and I’m so proud of you for saying this. If you loose any followers well then good riddance to them!! 💕💕💕💕

  90. Thank you Dr. Emily for posting what definitely needs be said. I read with tears in my eyes.

  92. This post was spot on!! Thank you for being honest, and I will hold Cherice and her children in my prayers.

  94. I feel the same way, except I wish ALL lives matter and we didn’t have any color in this world.

    1. The thing is, ALL LIVES DO MATTER! “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that WHOSOEVER believed in Him would have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.” Saved from what? Everlasting punishment which is the result of not believing in Jesus. Whether you believe this is immaterial. It is Truth.

    1. In my old age, it is so reassuring to read this post and know that the future is in such good hands!

  99. What an amazing post, Emily. Thank you for speaking so openly and explaining every scenario. We white folks do have issues when hearing that term and you are 100% correct, we should not feel ashamed of it but own it. That’s how life is, unfortunately but we should ALWAYS look at life through someone elses eyes and listen to their experiences.

  100. You go girl. Maybe if we all stay on the job we can make life a little better for everyone. We all need to keep trying.

  101. Very well said. Thank you for sharing your heart! Yes, we all bleed the same. God bless you!

  104. My family came from a pro-slavery Midwest state and I’m pretty sure there was a cloak or two in their closets. Growing up in rural NM I never saw a black person until I went to the Army after H.S. Even with that family history I always believed that “what makes me who I was is the past, what defines who I will be is today”. Unfortunately we live in a society where some people cling to the past, never see today’s opportunities for growth, and will continue to seek dischord tomorrow and beyond. Thank you for taking a risk to help push us forward despite likely pushback.

  105. Thank you, Emily, for your thoughtful and loving blog. May I add my two cents? Mostly, we are a product of how we’ve been raised. However, given courage and the willingness to be open-minded, we can examine our hearts and decide for ourselves whether or not we wish to keep our ingrained attitudes. At any point we can say, “This attitude doesn’t express who I want to be anymore,” and create a different attitude. We have the power to make a life more in keeping with who we want to be from here on out. Letting go of old prejudices, grudges and hatreds can be so freeing! What a lightness of being there is to be had, and there’s never been a better time to do it. Blessings, peace and love to you and your family.

  106. I agree. I taught fifth graders. I had an empty pickle jar in my classroom. My students were told over and over, “Labels are for PICKLE JARS…NOT HUMAN BEINGS!” If they used a label…even if it was just ‘four eyes’, they had to write down how that can distance you from that person…and put in in the Pickle Jar. I could cry when I think about what I
    TRIED to accomplish and how it has been destroyed LATELY by those that should be role models. SAD!

  107. You said this perfectly and with all of your heart. Thank you for saying this. I am a black woman who has a friend of over 25 years who hurt and shocked my by refusing to acknowledge inequities and disparities. I still love her, but I look at her as someone I can’t trust anymore. Praying that you and your family are overtaken with God’s blessings.

  108. Mr. Schlegel, with all due respect, for years, some people have brought racism home and infected generations of their families with it.

  109. Amen! Great post, Dr. Emily. Keep giving us all things to think about.

  110. I think you will enjoy living in the Front Royal area. My son and family live there and I attend as many of my grandchildren’s sporting activities as I can. You will see quite a broad mix of people in that area. It appears to me that the atmosphere is quite positive.

  112. Loved what you say here and it does make me think. Peaceful protest are needed but I have to say, these riots have done nothing to bridge the gap between cultures. I would be terrified to be in a large city as a white person right now. It is time for all people, white as well as black to not make judgements based on the color of people’s skin. It goes both ways.

  113. Right on point. Thank you. I have a young white friend who adopted 7 black children. She prays every day for her children to be safe when they grow up. They talk to them about not fitting the profile by not wearing Hoosier with the hoods up. And such things. Teaching children how not to fit the profile should not be part of the daily part of things. And even that does not guarantee they will be safe and live through their teen years. A major change is needed but it has to come from the infrastructure.

  114. Appreciate what you shared. It really made me see from a different perspective. My heart was touched when you told about your Vet friend worrying about her sons’ future. I was raised in an AF family so I’ve always had neighbors who were POC and went to school with them and had good friends who were black. I never felt differently toward different races. But as I grew up I saw how they were treated differently from how we –white people, were treated. Very sad. I just retired from 37 years working as a govt civilian so I was still working close to all POC. As a Christian, we should love all just as Jesus loves all. He’s our example on to love. Thank you Emily! Love you and your family. God Bless!

  115. Without a lot of detail I will say I was raised by a “Nanny”. I was raised, while playing with her son and inside her home and in my own “white” home. We lived in a large city, not on a plantation, where segregation was everywhere.

    My living among the two racial societies exposed me to both sides of discrimination. Racial hate has no home but is equally held by both sides. Thinking because a POC is justified in their hate makes it no less wrong. Thinking all people of white race hold discrimination is equally as wrong.

    I have watched discrimination all my life. I marched against segregation and was beaten by POC while doing so. I was beaten by whites for being friendly with POC. There is no such thing as a right or wrong side in discrimination because it is all fueled by hate. Hate is the problem, not skin color.

    As MLK said we must judge people by the content of their character, not the color of their skin. That is where we as a people have failed. We have no basic character to judge by.

    This is where it becomes political. America is built on Christian Morals, regardless of believing or liking it or not. Trying to ignore God and His existence is now hate for the basic differences of society. Politics of Faith in God and/or the right to have no faith as Atheism has become a political football. One side would support Christian morals and the other would support the right to not support Christian morals.

    We fail ourselves since Christians think they are the only solution and Atheists know they are. The foundation for children has not been acceptance but might makes right. There is no way for equality unless all people are first equal to decide for themselves. That means you must be free to make your choice. And I must be free to do the same.

    For POC or whites to demand equality unbalances the scales of equality. It is not our color but our character that is the problem. Just as there will always be poor around us there will also be unequal living conditions. Racial unrest is a perpetual motion machine and the power supply is hate.

    1. I think you are right on . The character of a person is what speaks volumes. A loving character…an accepting character…a patient listening…and on and on . Look beyond the skin and into the heart .

      1. Kathryn, We are taught character. People I meet show me their life experiences by how they respond to me. A loving character, for instance, a need for interaction. Dr Emily with her loving character craves pleasure helping others (in my opinion). She sees pain and must stop it.

        So many styles of character but they all have been taught. Like Dr Phil says we act in different ways to get our payback. Like candy in a candy store and all their flavors but everyone has a favorite.

        Everyone wears their heart on their sleeve. It cannot be hidden. Since it is on the sleeve we can see character before skin color. We must make sure our own character is not doing the judging or we are blind to who they really are. That is where “Love Is Blind” comes into play, LOL!

  116. When my First daughter was about a yr and a half old, I had her with me out running errands. We lived in a community with a large Hispanic community but very low black population. We were standing in line at the bank. A young black man stepped into line behind me, smiled and nodded. My very white, blond child went hysterical…screaming, climbing up me, very obviously terrified of this man. As I tried to soothe her, and apologize to the young man, I realized this was her first close encounter with someone of color. I realized that I was not attending to an important component of her education and development. That I was oblivious. This young man was very gracious, but he did not live in the same oblivious state of mind I did. White privilege. I needed to make changes. We started watching the TV channel with a black weatherman, we read stories with children of diverse cultures represented, we greeted all types of people when out in public. Subsequently my daughter started going to a daycare that had a very diverse group of children. Hispanic, Puerto Rican, Black, and white. The kids were close friends. When they were 5, the 18 yr old brother of the black child was murdered by a couple of white gang members. He was not part of the gang culture and he was targeted because of his color. A life changing event for all connected. That was 25 yrs ago, And still a painful part of our culture. I still feel that even though I have some awareness, I also still have times of being oblivious…of rolling through life with mindless assumptions, not really thinking about situations from someone else’s perspective, not recognizing or acknowledging the disparity. Of living within my white privilege. Emily, thank you for sharing your perspective and thoughts. It has provided food for thought today, and given me a chance for reflection to continue my own growth.

  117. Hi Emily, I ask the following as an older “white” male, raised in a military family, retired from the Navy & retired as a uniformed LEO who worked successfully with Americans of all races for 44 years: If the table was turned & 198 million persons of a particular race (not non-Hispanic white) comprised 60+% of U.S. society, would “white privilege” continue to be asserted or would a different race be regarded as privileged?

    1. Tom, it isn’t about number count its about economic, political and historical power. The average African American family has a net worth that is 5% that of the average white family. Look at the concentration of power in politics; look at the CEOs of Fortune 500 companies; look at the leadership in academic institutions. White folks systematically prevented people of color from getting; that’s how they got what they have. Simply shifting the numbers after 400 years of white dominance would not flip the power dynamic.

    2. Tom, it isn’t about number count its about economic, political and historical power. The average African American family has a net worth that is 5% that of the average white family. Look at the concentration of power in politics; look at the CEOs of Fortune 500 companies; look at the leadership in academic institutions. White folks systematically prevented people of color from having a fair opportunity to compete; that’s how they maintained dominance. Simply shifting the numbers after 400 years of white dominance would not flip the power dynamic.

  118. Dr. Emily, thank you for giving those of us who care about you so much another reason to love you. I can see your compassion for animals continues all the way through humanity.
    God Bless you and your friend…
    Sincerely, Pam Sekula

  119. I moved to southern Oregon from the METROPOLIS of Puget Sound. I rode the ferry from the Olympic Peninsula where I lived to Seattle where I worked. Seattle is “melting pot” of white, Asian & black ethnicities. Mostly white with good helping of Asians rode the ferry with me. The hospital where I was Health Unit Coordinator was staffed with all of these ethnicities. I loved the variety outlooks each gave me. Where I know live we are Native Americans, with a sprinkling of asians, mexicans & an occasional black. I miss the richness of multiple backgrounds. I am well aware BY THE ACCIDENT OF BIRTH my inherent privilege. Thank you for your rich assessment.

    1. CORRECTION Where I now live we are WHITE, Native Americans, with a sprinkling of Asians, Mexicans & an occasional black. I’m having trouble with my cursor skipping backwards.

  120. Perfect, Emily. You and all the women vets that I watch obsessively on TV are such heroes for me. Smart, tough, compassionate, fearless. If I had my life to live over, I would absolutely try to follow that path, I was just too late realizing what what I wanted to be! But I suspect that the same qualities that draw us to help animals, also make us more sensitive to all suffering in the world. I also came from a very humble background, but I still feel ‘white guilt’ when I see the way people of colour are mistreated. Thank you for speaking out. Your words may help to open more minds. 💕

  121. Excellent post and your analogy between an A-list celebrity vs us ordinary folk is pretty much spot on. The wife and I adopted two kids from Haiti and that has been an eye opener. The only time I was ever hassled leaving a Walmart was when my 15 year old daughter was carrying a box of diapers and was walking about 10 feet ahead of me when we were walking out the door. (you know how teenagers are mortified being seen in public with their parents…) The person manning the door was not checking any of the other “guests” receipts. After I got my receipt back I curtly said, “Your racism is showing!” and walked out. The only time my wife has had her receipt checked was when she was with our three grandchildren who are in foster care with us. The number one daughter is of Puerto Rican and Swedish decent and would appear more black than white. Her kids have a black father so our grandkids look mostly black. Beverly, our Haitian daughter, gets a lot of strange looks when she is out in public with my wife and the little grandkids. It still bugs her because it is not too difficult to see what people are thinking.

    I’ve also had to deal with the how do I keep my son alive question. To be honest, even I as a white man do not feel completely safe around an officer of the law. When I am pulled over, it is hands on the top of the steering wheel after pulling the car keys and tossing them on the dash and buzzing the window down so as to communicate through but no more. Do NOT reach for your insurance papers in the glovebox without asking for permission first. It is also Yes Sir/Ma’am and No Sir/Ma’am. Law officers have a difficult job and they are understandably jumpy. Do not make their job any harder than it needs to be. You need to act like you’ve just been caught in the open by a German Shepherd. Don’t run and don’t make eye contact. It happened to me once when I was working in a previous job delivering seed to a farmer in the springtime and I was so scared that I froze and that is what saved me. Dalmatians on the other hand, may God have mercy on you.

  123. Hi I’m French and This case happened in France with less exuberance than in the USA. I totally agree with your text, I hope other people think like you.
    Not only a fantastic vet but also a beautiful person.
    Thanks Emily.
    Ludovic

Comments are closed.